Meet Margy Schaller Laura Nelson

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Margy Schaller Laura Nelson. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Margy Schaller, so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?

In October 2023, Margy Schaller attended a women’s entrepreneurial retreat with approximately 125 other women, most of whom she knew as professional colleagues. Laura Nelson was a speaker on a panel called “Mind, Body, Health,” sharing her journey of getting sober and how it transformed her life. During the panel, Laura spontaneously asked, “I’m just curious, how many of you don’t drink, for whatever reason?” Margy, who had been sober for 18 years, hesitated. Only Laura knew about her sobriety, and Margy was unsure if she was ready to share it. She took a deep breath, raised her hand, and was astonished to see about 15% of the room raising theirs as well!

Later that day, the meeting planner approached Laura, realizing she’d only planned for wine and beer at the evening event. When she asked if she should bring Diet Coke, Laura suggested flavored bubbly water instead, which turned out to be a hit—not only with non-drinkers but with everyone.

These experiences, and the realization that many others were likely ‘secretly sober’ like Margy, inspired Laura and Margy to create Sober Life Rocks.

The mission of Sober Life Rocks is to normalize sober choices. Sober Life Rocks exists to provide community and encouragement, creating inclusive environments where everyone can connect authentically. We also aim to bring awareness to meeting planners and organizers that there are countless ways to bring people together without relying on alcohol.

The reality is that alcohol is the currency of connection, but for those who don’t drink, it can feel isolating. Think about phrases like, “let’s meet at the bar,” or “I’ll take you out for drinks when this deal closes.” The implication is that if you don’t want to drink, you aren’t part of the in-crowd.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

Sober Life Rocks is a growing community of those who are sober, sober-ish, sober curious, and our own category, “sober wingmen”. Our paid membership includes daily emails that are inspiring or thought-provoking to support and uplift people each day. The idea is that while you are working, traveling, at an evening event, you have a cheerleader in your back pocket. In addition, each month we find out which conferences people are going to, and where possible, connect them in advance so they don’t have to feel like they are going alone.

In addition, we have a free Linked-In group of sober professionals, meeting planners, HR professionals and others who support this mission. Here we have robust conversations about situations we encounter, norms we want to challenge, or celebrations of change.

A major challenge we’re tackling is the tendency of event planners to assume alcohol is essential for connection, overlooking the need for sober inclusivity. We know that conference attendance is down across the board, companies are struggling to figure out how to rebuild a sense of comradery among their teams, and sales teams are looking for the edge in developing relationships with their clients. The only solution most people have is to gather people over drinks.

Sober Life Rocks is not suggesting that we should eliminate drinks, rather plan gatherings around some other focus, and then provide beverages (both with and without alcohol) as a side note.

On November 11, 2024, Laura’s new book The Inclusive Event Planner: A Quick Start Guide to Planning Sober-Friendly Conferences That Boost Attendance launched. The first of its kind, this book is a rich resource for anyone planning a professional gathering. It helps explain the need (think back to the days when vegetarians were only offered a salad) as well as concrete solutions.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

While we have known each other for about 15 years, we never spent much time together. What started as a shared mission has turned into this beautiful partnership. Laura is a visionary, always ready to pivot, try new things, and rally others to the cause. While she thrives on the “big picture,” Margy is drawn to the details—she’s our builder, someone who enjoys putting structure around ideas and pouring energy into individuals. We joke that Laura shouts our message from the mountaintop, while Margy welcomes and supports everyone who joins the community.

Our advice is to surround yourself with others who share your vision and passion, but then look for people who bring something different to the table. We love our differences and celebrate each other’s strengths.

All the wisdom you’ve shared today is sincerely appreciated. Before we go, can you tell us about the main challenge you are currently facing?

One of the greatest challenges is trying to bring people together around a topic that has traditionally held so much stigma. Up until very recently, no one publicly celebrated not drinking. In fact, even today, alcohol is the one drug that if you don’t partake, you are questioned!

Our goal is to create a welcoming community where everyone feels safe and accepted, no matter their reasons for not drinking. The larger the tent, the less any one person has to worry about being judged! This means that if you don’t drink for health reasons, religious reasons, or whatever your story is, we need you to join us! We may not be offering support that you feel you need, but by becoming a member, you can offer support that someone else needs!

This large community will also help us overcome our second biggest challenge. While restaurants are getting better at offering a few mocktails, hotels and conference centers are not. We believe that once we start to make enough noise, this will start to change.

Join us to help pave the way toward a future where everyone feels included, with or without a drink in hand.

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