We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Naomi Matlow. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Naomi below.
Naomi, thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?
I think I get my resilience from my ancestry. I am a from an Eastern European Jewish background of hardworking peddlers. There were many opportunities for my ancestors to simply throw in the towel when it came to maintaining their faith or the hope for a safer and more sustainable future. As a result of their steadfastness and resilience, they made their way to Canada without many resources and experienced plenty of cultural barriers and losses. Yet, they were determined to plant the seeds for a better future. Subconsciously, I believe my ancestors ingrained in me that the cards we may be dealt do not need to lead to resignation and defeat.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I am a writer and educator based in Southern California. I was a storyteller since I was a kid, guiding my little sisters through imaginary worlds and creating narratives in my sticker books. However, when debilitating OCD entered my consciousness at fifteen years old, certain letters became negatively associated with what I feared were unwholesome motives and it became easier to lose that part of myself. With the unwavering support of my family, a youth psychiatrist and my Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, who I now deem a fairy godmother, I came back to myself slowly (after a lot of hard work) and feel determined to share with others that another way is always possible. When intrusive thoughts and challenging compulsions are pulling at your psyche, with the right support and ultimately a soft surrender to the ebbs and flows of being alive, you can create a life of your dreams.
I recently published an expanded version of my Mindfulness Studies Masters thesis from Lesley University, which is a workbook for dealing with sticky thoughts from a Buddhist psychology and mindfulness framework, in addition to CBT, Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). I wrote an article about it in this past summer’s IOCDF Newsletter . I have now made it available as a pdf on my website and as a Kindle and paperback option on Amazon.
In addition to my writing on mindfulness and OCD, I am also a songwriter and bookwriter for musical theatre, having studied at NYU’s Graduate Musical Theatre Writing Program.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Curiosity- I think that curiosity is fuelled by life force energy and is truly holy. Anything that excites us or is asking of us to learn more rarely leads us astray. Making peace with the fact that my journey wasn’t shaping up to be very linear gave me the freedom to follow that inner energy to learn more about something, to travel somewhere, or put myself out there in a more vulnerable way when I was ready to do so. From my experience, it is not always the easiest and most straightforward path to lean in to those bright lights of curiosity guiding the way, but it can be deeply meaningful and always a learning experience.
Patience- Having patience in oneself that growth takes time and that life is constantly unfolding in ways that we do not understand has been a lesson I believe we all can learn over and over again. The tree doesn’t grow the moment you plant the seed, and though we may know this intellectually, it is a practice to sit in the discomfort of waiting where doubt often creeps in. Mindful meditation is a great way to slowly turn the dial on cultivating a greater capacity for patience and trust.
Self-compassion- One of my favorite Buddhist teachings is from Ruth King, “Nothing in life is personal, permanent, or perfect.” When our minds are feeling ruminative, anxiety-ridden and being downright nasty to ourselves, it is essential to put a hand on our heart and remember that we are human in a complicated web of other humans also trying to live in an imperfect world. Even one moment of intentional self-compassion can ease the tension of life and soften our responses to ourselves and others.
Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?
“The Engaged Spiritual Life: A Buddhist Approach to Transforming Ourselves and the World” by Donald Rothberg had a deep impact on me when it was assigned reading during my Masters coursework. It really opened my eyes to how we can bridge the teachings of mindfulness and meditation initially taught by the Buddha 2600 years ago to a world that is on fire, both physically and metaphorically.
A few of the most valuable nuggets of wisdom I learned from this book is that responding to our own inner calling (or voice, where the root of the word “vocation” comes from), is exactly what we need to pursue within the web of an interdependent world. Additionally, in taking care of ourselves and continually dusting off the cobwebs of our ability to see life clearly, can we truly make a positive impact.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.naomimatlow.com
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/naomi-matlow-075183a2/
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