Meet Trisha Cole

 

We caught up with the creative and insightful Trisha Cole a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Trisha, thank you so much for joining us. You are such a positive person and it’s something we really admire and so we wanted to start by asking you where you think your optimism comes from?

Our family has a motto based on a Jewish folktale (the story is on p. 67 in Life at the Dumpling) The gist of the story is that life could always be worse. We always come back to the motto, it can always be worse so appreciate what you have and where you are. We have enough and then some. When you focus on the space you create, your relationships, and your experiences, you don’t really need anything else.

My optimism comes from making the most of each day, even the ones that feel the most oppressive. It is about being kind to the people closest to you, and also strangers, and everyone in your daily orbit. When you put love out there everything just feels better and it comes back to you. I know it sounds cheesy to say, “Go to the light,” but it’s true. It’s about leading with your heart, not your head.

I also don’t take myself too seriously. I have learned that “this too shall pass” and no matter what you are thinking or feeling it is temporary. I try to find the humor, be compassionate, and let the other guy/gal win. Lastly, a friend once said, when you have the option make the generous choice. He was right and if you do this every time you are faced with the choice you avoid having any regrets.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

I wear a few hats and really at the crux of all my work, I focus on making joyful connections and am a matchmaker of sorts. For over 20 years I have worked with hospitality clients (hotels, restaurants, destinations) doing PR and Marketing. I launched out on my own 3 years ago, and now work with 6-7 clients in the hospitality space. I look for ways to make meaningful connections that are going to bring new awareness to their business. I love to develop collaborations and partnerships, and also aim to get the right journalists and influencers to come and experience places firsthand. I have also started leading and producing events. I find the talent to present and talk at these themed retreats and as the host I have the opportunity to loosely guide them and then watch as people find their own joy from what they are learning and experiencing.

This spring I published my first book called Life at the Dumpling, which I like to describe as a Guidebook for Good Living. We call our house The Dumpling because when we bought it 20 years ago and showed it to my parents for the first time, my mom called it a dump and my husband promptly corrected her, “It’s not a dump, it’s a dump-ling!”. I started a newletter entitled “Life at the Dumpling” in March of 2020. When I got to Volume 20, I realized I had a book on my hands – it’s a memoir of my own journey ,as well a keepsake of an important time we all went through and much more. It’s filled with recipes, poems, games, interesting facts, travel tips, etc. It isn’t like anything you’ve ever read or seen. I call the newsletters, which I still send out, my Mitzvah to the Universe, and I the book is very much the same. It’s yours to use, and write in, and spill on, and generally just find things in there that lift your spirits. Right now, I’m focused on getting the book out into the world. I self-published it so I am sharing it in all the ways I can. My goal is that, like the newsletters, it gives people some tools and inspiration, and the permission to live their own Dumpling lives.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

1 ) Listen – This was definitely a learning for me. As I previously mentioned I get excited and have so much I wanted to share. The exercise of writing the newsletter gave me time to become an observer of everything that was going on and gathering content to write about became an act in taking it all in. Knowing how to be a good listener has made such a huge difference in my own self-awareness, and such a gift that I wasn’t aware was available to me before.

2) Visit – This goes with listening. My husband is from the Midwest and when we would go back to Ohio, there would always be these long spells of sitting with friends and family that seemed interminable to me. Growing up in Southern California we were always on the move, on to the next. I have come to appreciate what it means to sit and visit with people. In some ways it is like an active meditation, the longer you do it, the more you learn.

3) Let things be messy – This is another work-in-progress. I always want things to fit into these neat tidy boxes. When you let go of control and empower the people around you to be their best selves, you realize that things will work out. Also, it gives you the permission to not be so on top of it and you can relax a bit. Other people will step up and surprise you and the learning comes from not being the one to have it all figured out.

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?

I get overwhelmed easily. And I get excited easily, which means I tend to say yes to everything and want to do everything. This works until it doesn’t. I am working hard on pausing before responding to invitations and trying to pause and say, “I’ll get back to you.” Easier said than done, but I’m making a concerted effort.

For me, getting up super early when the house is quiet is always helpful. I find that if I’m starting to feel behind, this is one way to curb it. A new day means I can start fresh and there aren’t any distractions. If I can write out my To Do list in advance and then catch a few early mornings in a row to focus on whatever needs to be done, helps get me sane again.

During the pandemic my husband and I went on a weekly Saturday morning hike and it has been a ritual we have stuck to. We walk from our house in Glassell Park to coffee in Highland Park, and come back on any number of rambling routes through Mt. Washington. We’re usually gone 3-4 hours, sometimes longer. I never bring my phone and by the time we return, I’ve worked through a lot, and am much more grounded than how I was when we started out. Making this a non-negotiable part of my week has been key.

I had a colleague once that told me about that book about kissing the frogs, as in do the things you don’t want to do first. I can’t say it always works, but putting those things that are keeping me up at 3 a.m. on the top of my To Do list helps. If I go after these first I can get back to sleeping well, and for me, sleep is key. The minute I don’t get enough, all bets are off.

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Trisha Cole

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