Meet Ace Howe

We were lucky to catch up with Ace Howe recently and have shared our conversation below.

Ace , so great to have you with us today. There are so many topics we want to ask you about, but perhaps the one we can start with is burnout. How have you overcome or avoided burnout?

How did you overcome or avoid burnout?
Burnout is the concept of overworking oneself to the point of long term damage physically, emotionally, and/or mentally. By being able to recognize the signs for burnout, you gain the ability to identify potential risk through studying behavioral patterns. it is imperative to place precautions in place to prevent it. This consists of mindfully maintaining physical, mental, and emotional needs.

Prevention

Physical needs are the basics: eating well, exercising often, and practicing consistent hygiene. Yup, everything you’ve heard before, but it’s true. By keeping a schedule, it allows your body to establish a healthy baseline, making it easier to return if disrupted. Evaluate your typical routine and see if there’s a gap you’d like to fill and do some research on the best way to implement for yourself. Try and find something that you’re excited about and will feel motivated to incorporate into your routine. There are many products that advertise as a miracle cure-all, but your body will tell you exactly what it needs. If a body displays symptoms like thirst, soreness, or pain, it’s an indicator of what should be provided.
Mental needs consist of meaningful stimulation, processing, and rest. Each of these terms hold a plethora of possibilities that should be catered to each individual. Some folks can find stimulation through video games or their jobs, it’s whatever gets the brain flowing to the point of satisfaction. With the overstimulating nature of reality, it’s necessary to slow down and process surroundings. Through mindfully going through events and how they impacted you, the brain is able to achieve rest. Meaningful rest is when you get energized from the restful activities. By being able to sit down and enjoy a favorite TV show, the brain can fully relax before delving into a good night’s sleep.
Emotional needs embody recognizing and sitting with your emotions; both good and bad. Every now and again, there’s a day that feels like everything has lined up to be perfect. When that happens, take a moment to consciously examine every detail that fills your heart. There will come a day where your heart aches and it can feel natural to shove that deep inside, but that just plants the pain deeper inside. By sitting with those unresolved feelings, your brain is able to seek the resolution. Surrounding yourself with a strong support system can allow you to process those feelings verbally or just experience the emotional security of human closeness.
By ensuring you maintain a consistent routine that meets your physical, mental, and emotional needs, a strong preventative measure against burn out is in place. This puts yourself in the healthiest position possible and fosters the potential for immense growth. With physical, mental, and emotional strength, it becomes easier to problem-solve and tackle intimidating goals.

Intervention

Life gets busy and it’s easy to have a night where you slip and skip a workout or pick up some fast food. That. Is. Okay. However, sometimes that night turns into a week, and a depressive episode has begun to stretch its hands out for you. In order to identify how to overcome burnout one must first identify exactly what burnout is; burnout is the immense overwork of your entire physical, mental, and emotional health to the point of depletion. As you keep going and going and going, your brain breaks down more and more and you start to notice signs like a cold that just won’t go away or consistent headaches. Maybe your body is just starting to get so sore or your sleeping never seems to be enough no matter how many hours you get.
While everyone’s signs look different, once you are able to recognize this state, it’s time to establish a stronger support for yourself. Intervention can look like anything, but the crucial aspect is that it provides a structure that reinforces healing. When your body is feeling low, it’s time to set up physical activities that feel attainable. This can range from a daily stretch to having set workout days to signing up for a new class, whatever way will motivate you to move consistently. Your structure should have distinct time for checking in with your mental health. If attention and memory have been a struggle, honing in with a mindful approach can help center back to reality. Whether designating time for meditation or just appreciating the beauty of nature, the most important aspect is being present. Whatever activity gets your gears moving can be used to stimulate brain flow when feeling low. Finally, your structure requires time for your emotional health. When experiencing mood swings or consistent numbness, it’s necessary to sit and have a conversation with yourself about where you’re at. Ponder if you have coping skills, what they help with, and when to use them. Reach out to your support system and communicate wanting to process some feelings or just spend time together.
When the flames are growing and licking at your flesh, it’s easy to reach for a quick fix. However, if you constantly seek out immediate gratification, it creates a neural network that is susceptible for addiction. Whether through substances, food, sex, or whatever, eventually more stimulants are needed to maintain the dopamine fix. Rather than overusing unhealthy coping skills, taking the time to scream-sing your favorite songs or taking a night for grounding and meditation can be an immediate reset for your brain. In order to keep your physical, emotional, and mental health regulated, it’s crucial to seek out medium and long-term goals that you can develop and find satisfaction within. This can range from starting a face routine to pursuing higher education, just find something you truly want to work towards.

Reinvention

If intervention isn’t a strong enough kindle, the mind and body can char away. When there is nothing but ashes and the remnants of who you once were, the fire has finally died. Just as a phoenix, you too can rise from the ashes. While the process of reinvention takes an excruciatingly long time, eventually the structure will prevail and you will become stronger than ever before.
When physically burnt out, it can feel impossible to get back into a workout, eating, or self-care routine. One of the best methods to tackle this is chunking, which is breaking down goals into attainable actions. Does it feel impossible to leave bed to go for a run? Do some stretches in bed and move your body as much as possible. Does it feel too draining to make a full meal? Order in some comfort food or eat a minimal, yet healthy, snack. Feeling too exhausted to take a full shower? Use some dry shampoo or take a body shower. Don’t shame yourself for needing to take steps to get back to your baseline; It’s impossible to go from 0% to 100% healthily.
Healing is not a linear process, although it can be accelerated through including professional support. Whether seeking help from a physician, therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, or any other “ist”, taking the step towards professional help is wonderful. Medication pairs best with therapy if symptoms persist and are impacting your daily life, work, or relationships. If you feel that you are a risk to yourself or others, call or text 911 or 988 to receive immediate assistance. Seeking support is the strongest thing any struggling person can do.
As you continue through your journey, you’ll begin to establish a stronger and healthier version of yourself. Through recognizing and treating the symptoms associated with burnout, your physical, emotional, and mental health will continue to evolve. I have been viciously taught that healing and hurting is a cycle and there will always be hard days, but through establishing my strong structure, I am able to eradicate long-term burnout. The following list consists of various approaches that have helped me throughout my reignition. Disclaimer: what works for me may not work for you, take what serves you!

Ace’s Healthy Habits

I make my bed every morning. This makes my brain recognize it is time to get up and be productive, separating me from my bed until it’s time for sleep.
I try to designate an hour a day of personal productivity. My personal favorites are making art, working on my writing or journaling.
I have a group of friends who like to participate in parallel play with me! Parallel play is two or more individuals working on separate projects in the same room. This “body doubling” allows me to enjoy company while feeling satisfaction in my own project.
I mindfully practice yoga and target where tension and trauma stores in my body. There are always videos to watch online or attending a class, but I prefer practicing alone and focusing on what thoughts come as I move.
In my experience, acupuncture is a wonderful tool that helps promote a flow in the blocked areas of my nervous system. While maintaining this practice can get expensive, there are acupuncture pillows and mats that can be used for similar stimulation.
I create playlists based on my feelings so that I have the perfect soundtrack to match whatever I’m experiencing. I free whatever tension lies in my body through dance and sing out my feelings as loud as I can.
I have been given cupping treatment and it stimulates the blood flow in areas of great tension. Getting this done from a professional is an incredible experience, but there are affordable cupping sets online to do it to yourself or a friend.
I take some time to research a topic of interest to further develop my understanding. This promotes consistent learning while also keeping me up to date with any important findings. If we aren’t constantly building new neural networks, they become harder to build.
Going out to get a massage is such a treat, but not fiscally friendly. I have a shiatsu massager to target long-term tension within the shoulders, neck, and hips. Massage guns can also be a great tool!
I like to cook or go out for one of my favorite meals to keep all of my nutrients up. I have a passion for experiencing all kinds of food and learning the culture associated with it.
I have an incredible therapist that I meet with weekly who helps track my behavioral cycles, process traumatic emotions, and develop coping skills. I was lucky enough to find a therapist where the sessions fly by and I feel myself truly growing.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

As a child, there was always this instinctual compulsion urging me to help others in any way I could. With a tiny body and a strong sense of justice, I began raising money for the Humane Society by walking dogs, participating actively in church, and standing up against any bully I saw. At 10 years old, I started volunteering my precious recess time in order to be a “peer mediator” . The idea my principal had was that only children can solve children’s problems, which honestly, has some merit to it. As a 5th grader, I learned how to navigate problems like recess politics or senseless bullying, and find a resolution. The experience of watching tears move to compromise to smiles brought immense satisfaction.
As I got older, the passion for helping only grew, but so did everyone’s problems. I soon encountered the harsh reality of mental illness, death, disease and my adolescent brain had no idea how to handle it. All I could do was try to be there for my friends, but I felt powerless against the cruelty of the world. A depressive fog overtook my body and I began to disassociate through everything in order to stay strong for the people around me. Although I didn’t know what “burnout” was, I felt my mind and body set aflame.
The emptiness began to singe through every vein in my body, spreading and scalding my mind. The only way I could enter true consciousness was when I faced a situation that would trigger my flight or fight response. The constant battle of hyper and hypoarousal had conditioned me into believing my only value was helping. When selecting a major for college, it felt like a no-brainer to continue my healer’s path through Psychology. While I loved my classes, I had no stable support system and had no idea how to function independently at college. The Pandemic hit my sophomore year of college and whatever semblance of structure I had, crumbled.
With the fear of the unknown lurking upon the world, we were all just trying to survive. Constant paranoia around health, the safety of others, isolation, and necessities disrupted the entirety of society, resulting in neverending hyperarousal. I don’t remember too much from that time period, but somehow I made it out alive with a college degree in my hand. After fighting for years for that one piece of paper, what was I supposed to do? I began to process the traumatic nature of my college experience and watched myself fully disintegrate. I had given more than what I had and ended up burnt on every end I had, but with escaping the school system, I can begin healing. I have taken the last year to mindfully process the previous trauma and examine who I am as an independent adult within my career, personal life, and social life. Through breaking down my cycles, I was able to create a structure that fosters my growth and development. I am proud of what I have grown into and continue to pursue numerous projects that spark passion within me. I have plans to reach higher and higher, but I must always maintain my roots.

What I’m focused on professionally:
I work as a Behavioral Specialist in Enhanced Foster Care, meaning that I work with foster children who need behavioral support. When a child gets assigned to me, that typically means they are at risk of being removed from a placement due to severe behaviors. I design specialized programming catered to each client’s behavioral needs and develop structure with the caregivers to ensure it can be maintained. Within my job, I have absolute creative freedom, which allows me to design board games, Dungeons & Dragons campaigns, and heartfelt crafts with my clients. Every session looks different and I cherish the process of building the structure a child can climb from.
I have the privilege of establishing a connection with a child and remain a consistent support throughout their time within Enhanced Foster Care. As trust and rapport builds, I am able to provide more intensive support and interventions to support the client. I have worked with kids ages 4 all the way to 18, so there is an enormous spectrum of behaviors to encounter. Whether dealing with anger issues, disassociating, outbursts, I will create person-centered care to support each individual. I establish a relationship with each person related to the case and ensure everyone is on the same page with providing support. I also serve as an advocate for the family and ensure their wants and needs are being heard and met.

The most special aspect of my career is being there for the daily wins. I love going to watch my clients perform band concerts or play basketball. I love watching the light on their faces as they pass a test after studying for two weeks straight. I love sitting and hearing about the school drama and discussing who has a crush on who. I love being the person that celebrates these kids and watch them grow into emotionally intelligent individuals who can communicate, utilize coping skills, and thrive in their environment. Having a career in foster care guarantees traumatic and heartbreaking days, so when there’s the ecstasy of a win, nothing compares. When my client has developed enough skills to graduate out of Enhanced Foster Care, I have to wish them a bittersweet goodbye, but know that they are going to do wonderful things.

What would I want folks to know about my career/brand

The most important thing I’d like folks to know about my career is: THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH FOSTER PARENTS. There is a severe scarcity of individuals open to taking a foster child, especially those who are displaying outward behaviors. My team gets called in once a case has been deemed at risk for a placement breaking, resulting in a constant battle of ensuring a child has a safe place to sleep at night. These youth require more support and attention, which can intimidate many parents, leaving the options very bare or easily broken.
Parents can experience a lot of fear when considering opening their home to a foster child. It’s common to have concerns around other children or animals in the home as well as the daily struggles of supporting a traumatized youth. It’s easy to have an idealized perspective of providing all the right love and support and this foster child will behave just like biological children. Nope! These youth have experienced significant trauma, which will inevitably externalize through their emotions, behaviors, and thought processes. It’s imperative to recognize that a foster child has come from a completely different environment and will require time and patience to adjust to a new structure. Meet them where they’re at, and build together.
Additionally, there’s a plethora of options for being a foster parent. Many perceive it exclusively as a long term commitment, when in reality, there are numerous options of supporting foster youth. There can be “respite” homes, which is just spending time with a foster child, whether it’s for a few hours or a few days. Another option is being an emergency shelter home, which would add the individual to an on-call list for taking in foster youth who have had a placement break. Unfortunately, there is a lack of consistent, supportive adults in many foster children’s lives, so any form of participation can make all the difference.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

Studies have shown that the most effective form of affirmations were genuine compliments, which really shouldn’t come as a huge surprise, but it’s shockingly hard to encounter genuinity in the real world. Society provides an outline of what people are expected to be rather than encouraging discovering their own identity. I challenge you to sit and think about all aspects of yourself, light and dark. What feels right? What do you want to work on? How can you be your most genuine self?
I feel most genuine expressing myself through conversation, fashion, and art. I often find myself in a dazed sonder, wondering and daydreaming of the lives everyone has lived. Everyday we pass folk we never speak to, but what brought them to be standing next to you at the bus stop? If you find yourself genuinely wondering, you should ask. When I see beauty in the individuals that surround me, I go out of my way to let them know, because I genuinely feel that way. Although I ensure never to comment on something someone cannot change about themselves. This communicates appreciation of what that person chose to express their identity with, as opposed objectifying something they cannot control.
Another crucial skill is knowing how to communicate effectively, efficiently, and kindly. By keeping physically, mentally, and emotionally regulated, it becomes easier for the brain to express clear thought processes. When experiencing dysregulation, the brain’s ability to process information and solve problems diminish. This can make communication extremely difficult, resulting in trouble with intonation and word choice. By honing communication skills, the ability to make connections and relationships increases significantly.
The way to succeed is to have a strong structure for yourself and to create a supportive network to hold you higher. Inevitably, you will encounter a disagreement with a loved one or a supervisor and need to know the most efficient route to take. Having the ability to effectively and kindly hold uncomfortable conversations will demonstrate your emotional intelligence regarding obstacles. Every conversation is an opportunity to learn something and get closer, use it to your advantage!
At the end of the day, it all comes down to respect for me. I prioritize having the mindset of treating everyone I encounter with dignity and respect. Every individual has had a myriad of experiences I could never comprehend and they deserve respect like every single other human being. When I encounter strong people filled with determination to make something better, I feel intense admiration and respect for their character. The more I get to know someone and see their daily kindness, I only gain more respect for that individual.
On the other hand, there will be people you spend time with that you begin to resent their snide comments or throw trash on the street. If you feel yourself losing respect for an individual, evaluate if they are adding anything beneficial to your life or if they are hindering your development as a person. Sometimes, people stop fitting in our lives and need to leave, but they should always be treated with respect.

My advice:
I’ll keep this one short and simple: find out who you are alone.

It’s easy to surround yourself with screens or people, but what do you do when it’s just you and your thoughts? I challenge you to take a day alone and document your journey. If you feel uncomfortable, why? If you feel too comfortable, why? Try to keep taking days for yourself and note what your habits become.

Do you think it’s better to go all in on our strengths or to try to be more well-rounded by investing effort on improving areas you aren’t as strong in?

think it’s crucial to target the areas that are unfamiliar. Once the preferred strength has been developed, I believe in using that lens while evaluating other forms of study. When selecting a major for college, I was easily drawn to Psychology, but I had to decide on a Bachelor’s of Arts or a Bachelor’s of Science. While I always had a passion for art, writing, and language, I had already developed sufficient skills in those areas. This mindset motivated me to expand my horizons towards a scientific lens, which resulted in a significant change of my perception.
Throughout my college experience, I delved into a variety of lenses from Sociology to Genetics to Biotechnology to Philosophy to Chemistry to Ethics to History, all to discover they merge into the amalgamation known as psychology. Through utilizing every area of study, psychologists were able to apply that to help physically, psychologically, and neurologically. As technology expands and new discoveries are made, it is necessary to maintain an open mind. One of the most important perspectives I gained from my Bachelor’s of Science was that science solely consists of theories; there is nothing we can truly know for certain. For years, humans believed the Earth was the center of our solar system and punished those who thought otherwise. Those who dared to challenge the status quo and pursue alternative methods of study are the very same who discovered the Sun is our center. A scientist questions everything and seeks to find an answer.
As I continue down the rabbit hole that is the pursuit of knowledge, the words of Albert Einstein constantly echo: “The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know”. The most important concept I learned within my studies is intersectionality, which highlights the interconnectedness and interdependence of social classes, race, culture, gender identity, sexuality, ability, spirituality, and ethnicity. Every lens overlaps and impacts each other for every single individual. This reinforced the systematic oppression that lines our country that builds barriers against various demographics. The system is not broken, the system is working as intended. Different demographics are pinned against one another, constantly fed the lie that the other causes their problems, rather than communicating how the system isn’t meant for everyone to succeed.
Everything is interconnected and I believe it’s necessary to study each lens to understand that perspective enough to apply it. The best way to gather new perspectives is through experience, which fosters educational opportunities, connection, and personal growth. Through gathering a myriad of perspectives, it becomes feasible to break each concept down into its atoms, you can rebuild it in a manner suitable for you.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: acehowe00 & ace_of_spades_oddities
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ace-howe00/

Image Credits

The first picture is taken by Caroline Bell