Meet Nicole Harding

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Nicole Harding a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Nicole, so good to have you with us today. We’ve got so much planned, so let’s jump right into it. We live in such a diverse world, and in many ways the world is getting better and more understanding but it’s far from perfect. There are so many times where folks find themselves in rooms or situations where they are the only ones that look like them – that might mean being the only woman of color in the room or the only person who grew up in a certain environment etc. Can you talk to us about how you’ve managed to thrive even in situations where you were the only one in the room?

From as early as I can remember I have been “the only one” at the table. It started with my 1st grade reading group, Serendipity. Up until that point there had not been a black student in advanced reading. I can still remember explaining to my mother that something was wrong and watching her navigate her advocacy for me. Before making the call to the school she asked me a series of questions to confirm my placement. I can hear her saying, “Are you sure Nicole?” What worked then and has worked throughout my career is using evidence as confirmation. Do I have the skills? Check. Can I do the work? Check. Am I prepared? Check… and so on. With evidence in hand I move through the world comfortably and without masking. I am my authentic self in all situations. I shed my need to fit in for other’s comfort when I replaced fear with my list of evidence of my capabilities. While this approach has been my mainstay, it doesn’t always stop others from challenging if I belong. These encounters used to shock, and occasionally anger me. Now I meet those that question my belonging with grace and understand that it speaks more to their lack of knowledge than it does to my own. Now when I am traveling to far flung locals or speaking to large audiences, I send thanks to the heavens that Mom showed me early that I belong anywhere my heart and mind take me!

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I run a team of business and learning & development experts, and at my core I am a people leader. My expertise is in removing obstacles and helping people strategize for success at work and in life. After 20 years in the industry I find myself working inside the “zone” and at maximum productivity. It is a thrill to see my ideas come to fruition. This year I challenged myself to prioritize a passion project and from that came my new book: Oh Your Money Will Grow.
Born from a desire to give a well meaning gift to graduating students the process of framing, writing, illustrating, and publishing has been a delight. The biggest thrill has been the response from the young people on the receiving end!

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

The best thing I ever did for my personal and career development was finding a mentor. As a young woman starting out I have a huge amount of gratitude for the lessons I learned about family, relationship, entertaining, networking and of course, career planning from my personal mentors. What was most important in these relationships was the space for true correction. So often we mistake strong admiration in relationship for mentorship. For me, the ability to be RE-directed in the course of my mentorship has been game changing. It has allowed me to take risks and avoid huge pitfalls that may have come had I not had the guidance from true experts with proven track recoords I wanted to emulate.

The other game changer that has contributed to success in my journey is my ability to manage my ego. I ask a question often when I am coaching individuals, “Do you want to be right? Or, do you want things to be right?” I wish I would have had this lens earlier in my marriage and career. The good news is I was able to work on my ego and understand how to use it and not let it rule me and it has lead to a wonderful place of passion for life and work with less stress and judgement.

Lastly, the skill I see women lacking in the workspace that can make a big difference is the skill of negotiating. Understanding how to negotiate for yourself, your work, and your time can change the trejectory of your life. Build a circle that can help nurture and guide you and that can be open to sharing different experiences so that you can negotiate from a place of facts and confidnece!

Before we go, maybe you can tell us a bit about your parents and what you feel was the most impactful thing they did for you?

I was adopted by my mother at birth after she had been helping a pregnant woman that was struggling with addiction. My mother raised me, in the fullest sense of the word. Her foundation is the platform for all things in my life. She taught me to value a hard day of work and that all work is worthy. While I learned so many positive things from her I also use her life as a cautionary tale. In certain settings my mother found herself uncomfortable, unsure, fearful. This is a core memory of mine. I made a vow to myself early on to move through the world boldly and without fear. I love learning and connecting. Kindness is my currency. While I bring all of my experiences to the table I also bring an open heart and mind and while I may have done a lot, I can’t wait to see what is next!

This last year I added author to my journey. Oh, Your Money Will Grow is available on Amazon.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/realtalknic/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-harding/
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtalknic

Image Credits

All photos are owned by me