Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Alane Holsteen. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Alane, so many exciting things to discuss, we can’t wait. Thanks for joining us and we appreciate you sharing your wisdom with our readers. So, maybe we can start by discussing optimism and where your optimism comes from?
That is such a great question. I would say in my life, optimism is synonymous with the word hope, and I am in love with that word. Because I see it every day. I work with victims of sexual and violent crimes, most who are under the age of 18. They are some of the strongest most resilient people I know. My optimism comes from watching their struggle to not just survive and heal, but to become strong members of our society. I have seen them grow up, get married, have children of their own, work to help others who have survived interpersonal violence, and make this world a better place. I have a front row seat to seeing the extreme pain and struggles, yes, but also to seeing how people lift their heads back up despite physical, mental and emotional injuries. I am truly blessed to have this job.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I have worked as a victim specialist for the past 35 years, but I identify as an artist first and foremost. The artist side of me heals the side that witnesses the worst that we humans do to each other. When I make art, I strive to rediscover the beauty in this broken world. I have always loved making art, but when I was in my 20’s I found that helping others through their darkest times was something I needed to do. I was a victim of interpersonal violence several times throughout my life, and walking alongside others as they faced their abusers became an important part of not just healing, but making this world a better place. We gain self-esteem and strength by doing hard things, but we can’t do it alone. We all need help. We heal in community. As the years wore on, I found that I needed more and more help myself in dealing with the ugly side of humanity. I worked to connect with others, exercised and took care of my health, and nurtured my spiritual side, but ultimately, I found that regular dedicated time making art helped me cope better than most everything else. I got a studio space and began to dream, imagine, and create landscapes and flowers that may (or may not) exist in life. I paint with encaustic medium (beeswax and damar tree resin), which, being of nature itself, becomes an artistic collaborator. I add pigment and paint layer upon layer, fusing each layer to the previous one with a torch of fire.
Isn’t that like our lives? Each layer and season of life covering over the previous one, giving us hope to recreate ourselves anew?
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Patience, I think this quality is similar to accepting the imperfect things in this life. Learning to let go of trying to be perfect was so key to helping me be more patient and understanding of others.
Kindness. I love being kind. It feeds me just as much as it feeds others. Being kind is easy–carrying it on through months and years is the real challenge. It is a skill that has to be developed by thinking “how can I be kind” rather than having an emotional reaction..
Flexibility. Being able to roll with the punches. Life is hard and nothing and no one is perfect. Things fall apart. Learning how to pick back up after something bad happens is something I think I’m good at–and that I have learned from watching the victims I work with do it in their lives.
Ultimately learn to forgive yourself when you mess up, when you are imperfect. It is a practice so don’t expect to feel it right away. Find a visual or physical way to release the things in your life that you have done that make you not so proud.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?
Unfortunately feeling overwhelmed is pretty common in my line of work because of the nature of the job. There are days when I do forget the things I have learned to cope, but if I force myself to take a break, go for a walk until my head clears out the clutter from the difficult situations I am worried about, I can begin to remember the simple steps:
#1 Remember it is usually my brain making things seem worse than they are.
#2 Breathe and drop my shoulders–look for areas of my body that are tensing up and restricting blood flow.
#3. Do the thing I don’t want to do–first. Do it immediately. The rest of the burning fires will fall into place.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://alaneholsteen.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alaneholsteenart
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alaneholsteenart
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