Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Lucas Essman. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Lucas, we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?
I want to start by first saying that I think resilience is one of the most important traits to develop in life. Without it, I think things can get pretty dark, pretty fast. When it comes to how I have developed it for myself, it comes down to one simple belief that I hold for myself: nothing can truly stop you, or get in your way, unless you allow it to, that nothing in this world is ever worth allowing yourself to not reach your full potential. I think like many of us, I have been at many points in life where I did feel like giving up, and sometimes if I’m honest, I did for a little bit. But the key words here are “for a little bit”. I have had some really low, dark points in my life so far, some in where I had never been as hopeless as I was in those moments. I really did have two choices, to allow that low point to define me, to decide “this is fine, ill just be this type of person now”, or to get up off the ground, and to keep it pushing, to decide that I wasn’t going to let it end there. And this can apply to a lot of scenarios too, I’ve been there with y’all, trust me.
Whether it was being unemployed for longer than I would’ve liked, going through bad breakups, being broke, losing a job, losing a friend or friends, losing a business opportunity unexpectedly, getting rejected from multiple modeling/talent agencies, etc. During each unfortunate event, I had a choice each time of what I was going to do, and what I was going to tell myself about the situation. And it isn’t easy all the time, or even most of the time to be resilient. Most of the times I have decided to keep going, It was an act of forcing myself to. Even if in the moment I felt broken down, insecure, unsure of myself, and confused about my place in this world, I knew that deep down, one day I would regret it if I just decided to give up. I always have an intrinsic belief in myself, that even if I can’t see how it will all work out right now, knowing that I have always found a way, and will continue to do so.
We are also never promised a problem free life in this world either, which is something I always tell myself when I am feeling frustrated with my circumstances. I think in the world we currently live in, that a lot of people have had their brains trained by all of our technology to expect everything to be in some form, instant, because we really can get almost all of our needs met instantly with a few taps on our phones. I believe this has bled into our every day lives, subconsciously albeit. I have been guilty of this before too, and any time a thought comes up for me where I think “why does this have to be so hard”, I remind myself that it is SUPPOSED to be hard. Anything worth having in your life, isn’t supposed to always be easy, and most of the time, they’re never going to be easy to get. You have to be prepared to be disappointed, over and over again, expect it. Life is not social media, it isn’t meant to be a highlight reel all of the time. Most things won’t go to plan, but it’s what you do during those moments, and after, that will decide how your life will turn out.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I would like to think of myself as a jack of all trades, but what I would want to bring to the forefront for this feature would be the Modeling aspect. I think when a lot of people hear the words “male model”, their brain instantly jumps to a career full of superficiality and vapidness. Most likely imagining somebody along the lines of the character Derek from the movie Zoolander, right? It is an assumption that is fair to make I think, as that image is all that has ever been synonymous with being a man, and having a career formed around your appearance.
But to me, being a model means a lot more to me than just that, and goes deeper than just that idea of superficiality. The first thing that comes to my mind for me is how cool it is to be able to bring a piece of clothing to life, to really be able to give it a sense of meaning. Clothe truly are an amazing tool for expressing all sorts of feelings and visions, I think it goes deeper than just “looking hot”. I could look the exact same way physically, but have no idea how to work with my own body & face for the camera, and it just wouldn’t work out the same. It takes some nuance, emotional intelligence, and quick thinking to be able to achieve whatever desired effect is present.
It did not come to me overnight or on a whim either really, I started when I was younger, in high school. I want to say age 15 or 16. I surprisingly used to hate being photographed before that point, as i hadn’t really figured out how to hold my own in front of a camera. My earliest photoshoots most of the time did not even include my face fun fact, I was too shy I guess. But with each photoshoot, My confidence would grow a little more, and I could see what poses worked and didn’t, what angles favored me and which ones didn’t, etc. It was a process that once it got started, I kept wanting to see how much better of a shot we could get the next time.
So as time went on, and I began to grow more and more into my own person, I started to find a lot of joy in fashion and fashion photography. It started out as an interest, then turned into a hobby, and eventually due to my social media presence, it more or less became something I could take even further, as a job, something I could eventually profit off of. It has been a long journey, but a good one. I feel that I am at a good place with it now, and I’ve been really fortunate to be able to work with the brands and magazines that I have thus far, and I’m excited to see what’s next!
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
When I look back on everything, I definitely can say that the three qualities/skills that have kept me afloat would be confidence, resilience, and self worth. Confidence is needed first and foremost I would say. When you are in the business of putting yourself out there, you have to remember that all kinds of people can and will come across what you are putting out. For better or worse honestly, and a lot of the time, the bad reactions, at least for me, can sometimes stick with me if I focus on them too much. And from age 15 to now(age 22), I have had more than my fair share of hate, criticism, and a lack of understanding thrown my way. And it only gets worse the more of yourself that you put out there. The confidence in yourself, of knowing who you are, and your mission statement of why you’re doing what you’re doing, is incredibly important. If you don’t hold that close to your heart, they can, and will eat you alive. Whether its school bullies, random people on the internet, “friends” or even family, somebody who doesn’t see eye to eye with you, is always going to have something to say, and that’s okay. Confidence to me means being okay with others not understanding, or even hating what you’re doing, as long as you truly understand why you’re doing it, and the purpose behind whatever it may be.
While we have already touched on resilience in a previous question, I just felt it was such a pillar for me in this journey, that I had to bring it up again. In any industry, you will face a long string of rejections, at one point or another. A lot of people have quit due to a door slamming in their face, nor realizing that the next one would be opened for them. You truly never know, especially nowadays with social media, and the reach we all possess now. You have to be resilient so you can allow yourself to be open to whatever could come your way. It only takes one win to change your life, and when that happens, it will make all of the other previous rejections you faced as nothing more than a lesson to not give up.
Lastly, we have to talk about the importance of self worth, and its incredibly crucial role in all of this. Self worth is the force that will keep your eyes on the prize. You need to be able to truly believe that you are an individual that is deserving of good things, deserving of your goals that you had set for yourself. This also will be an anchor when the going gets tough, solidifying the confidence in yourself to face whatever may come your way. Without that in place, it will never be a stable process. I say this from experience too, you will self sabotage at every turn if your self worth is not in check.
Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?
I think something I am currently struggling with would be dealing with being overwhelmed if I am completely honest. In my day to day life, I feel like I attempt to balance way too much, which only ends in my detriment. I am trying to teach myself to focus on one thing at a time, that sometimes I just can’t do everything I need to do perfectly and on time, at the same time. I am more or less a perfectionist, and I am really trying to let that go finally.
A lot of things have changed the further I have gotten into my 20s, and I really want to find a better balance with everything. Sometimes, truth be told, My business email is so overwhelming for me to look at, that I literally just won’t for a few days, as I’ll be burnt out from other obligations, such as my day job. But I also am realizing that I need to take some time away from all of that, and allow myself to not feel as guilty regarding that. The stress it brings me sometimes, really isn’t worth it, as I think I could be working smarter instead of harder. When it comes down to it, I just want to live life more, you know? I constantly am putting so much pressure on myself to perform optimally, that I feel like sometimes I forget to simply enjoy life, to slow down and take a look around. I think both are important, but going too much on either side of that, can be detrimental. So like everything else in life, balance is key, and I think I’m on my way to finding it.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://linktr.ee/lucasessman
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lucasessman/?hl=en
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/luke.essman?mibextid=LQQJ4d
- Youtube: https://youtube.com/@LucasEssman
