Meet Shay Moulder

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Shay Moulder. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Shay below.

Hi Shay, so excited to have you with us today and we are really interested in hearing your thoughts about how folks can develop their empathy? In our experience, most folks want to be empathic towards others, but in a world where we are often only surrounded by people who are very similar to us, it can sometimes be a challenge to develop empathy for others who might not be as similar to us. Any thoughts or advice?

I have always been a person who is sensitive and feels things in a very deep way. It’s a good and bad quality to have; when I am hurt emotionally it’s visceral, when I am happy, I’m overjoyed. But feeling like you can’t trust the world will make you hide your heart, and therefore it’s hard to exercise empathy no matter how deep you think you are.

There were times in my life when I struggled to find hope, and I couldn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. My upbringing was rough in areas, and in that I had to shelter and harden my tenderness to protect it.

When I started performing and putting myself in a situation of vulnerability, it was like therapy. I did a lot of street performance and busking in the early days of my career (I still love the frenetic energy of the street), and it changed everything. I had to take immediate criticism from strangers, but mostly I had to accept an outpouring of empathy and kindness from others. On the street, strangers connected with my music, sometimes they cried and told me about their problems, their own troubles and pain. That was hard, but beautiful. It made me realize that I had such a deep capacity to hold space for others, and also myself.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I’m a music maker, and bone throwin’ hip shaker… or at least that is what my social media bios say. In reality I am a Southern California singer-songwriter and artist. I teach ukulele and piano lessons, and I perform all over Central and Southern California. I do private one-on-one lessons in person and remotely that I book through my website (https://www.shaymoulder.com/book-online).
I have also just released an EP called “Almost Okay” with Ann Marie Nacchio, which I’m amazingly proud of.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Perseverance, hope, and my voice have been the three things that I have held close. You could be gifted with the best talents in the world, but without the grit to keep going and persevere, you have nothing. Even when I am at my darkest, I keep hope in pandora’s box knowing that everything will be okay; the sun will rise tomorrow.
Accepting my voice has been big for me. I don’t sound like everyone else; I have a unique vibrato. I have to let it do its thing, and despite how I may feel about it, people like it. That keeps me going.

The advice that I give people first starting out, is that when one door closes, knock on another one, and another, and maybe even the door that just closed on you. Keep knocking on doors, and eventually one will open.

To close, maybe we can chat about your parents and what they did that was particularly impactful for you?

My mother got me piano lessons at 8, and I can say that it changed my life. She believed in me and got me a little keyboard and made me practice my lessons. She didn’t make that much money and she always worked two jobs, but she loved and believed in me enough to spend that hard earned money on 30-minute lessons. It taught me so much about the potential she thought I had. I will always be grateful for her belief in me.

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Tracie Neyman

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