Meet Monica J Martinez

We were lucky to catch up with Monica J Martinez recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Monica J, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?

I was JUST asked this question by a good friend who is a therapist so I decided to dive deeper into this. I can only speak for myself and my journey but this is how it evolved…

Be observant: I started to notice my anger, my shame, my embarrassment, my attitude, my judgment etc.

Be curious: I then started to ask myself WHY…why am I feeling this way? Why do I judge others? Why does everything have to be perfect? Why am I so hard on myself? Why am I so hard on others?

Research: This lead me to read books, watch movies, and speak to others and continue asking questions.

Deeper Understanding: I started to understand where this all was coming from. It was generational trauma at its best.

Self-Awareness: I started to know myself and become aware of who I was, all of my tendencies, how I may come across etc.

Personal growth Deeper Acceptance with a hint of Freedom: After all of this learning and trying to grow, change, and FIX, I started to accept and love… myself AND others. I let go of SO much…trying to fix everything and everyone, trying to be perfect, trying to please EVERYONE, trying to be something/someone I wasn’t. I more free than I’ve ever been. I have healthy boundaries and I don’t do things just to please others..

I’m still on this BEAUTIFUL journey and I am grateful for every minute of it ! My confidence and self-esteem have improved so much and now I try to help others anyway I can.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

After being in the education field for 20 years, I decided to leave my full-time job in Aug. 2021 and start a wedding business. We are a husband and wife team that offers floral design and videography for weddings and events in Chicago and surrounding suburbs.

I grew up in my aunt’s flower shop helping her weekends and summers all through high school. At the time I had my heart/mind set on being a teacher so flowers were just a way to make money. It wasn’t until I designed the flowers for my own wedding in 2017 that I felt a certain spiritual spark. When I was with the flowers, nothing else mattered. I wasn’t anxious, I didn’t have to please anyone, I could do what I wanted, my mind was quiet, I felt a positive energy, and I was at peace.

This planted the seed, but in 2020 everything would change. I was working remotely, as most of the world was, and I started to have ideas of permanently working from home, having my own business, becoming financially free, investing, creating generational wealth etc.

Fast forward to 2022 when we officially launched MJM Occasions. It’s been quite the journey but I’ve learned from every florist I’ve freelanced for, every person I’ve encountered, every situation I’ve been in. To be honest, I first got sucked into people pleasing mode yet again. Creating designs that clients wanted, but things that I didn’t really resonate with. Slowly, I’ve been finding my style and developing my brand.

In 2023, I was contacted by someone from a tv show that was going to film in Chicago. I first thought it could be a scam. However, when we spoke on the phone I knew it was a legitimate opportunity. In our 2nd year of business we were asked to design the flowers for the tv show ‘Married at First Sight’ and I couldn’t be more proud. I must be doing SOMETHING right if they found me online and liked my work, right ! Lol

To bring it full circle, I plan to teach floral design in the future. I would love to uplift my Latinx population and show them that they CAN have a successful business and charge their worth. They CAN be amazing artists. I also want to bring this peace and beauty to senior homes, hospitals, and high schools. I can’t wait to see how far my business will go !!

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

Self-Awareness: No one tells you that starting a business is like starting therapy !! There are so many things that you will face when owning a business such as, imposter syndrome, insecurities, scarcity mindset, and just weird feelings all over the place. A mentor once told me, “KNOWING the problem is half the battle”. Now I can make fun of myself, point out when I’m being too picky, flag when I’m in a bad mood etc.
Advice: Become curious and show yourself compassion when you see something in yourself that you may not like. If someone tells you something about yourself, try not to take it personally or get defensive. They may just be trying to let you know how you may be coming across to others. What you do with the information is up to you.

Determination: I’ve learned that in order to accomplish goals and/or reach your dreams, you don’t have to be that straight “A” student or the most book smart. What you need is DRIVE and DETERMINATION. In my 20’s I graduated with a B.A. in Elementary Education an then a M.A. in Bilingual/Bicultural Education. I went straight through with no breaks, worked 3-4 jobs to pay for school, and graduated both times with zero debt. Within these 7 years, I would fail a few courses, become very stressed and overwhelmed, but I NEVER EVER GAVE UP !
Advice: Give things TIME ! Nothing will come overnight but KEEP AT IT and start planning in years and not weeks or months. Right now I have a 10yr plan to become a millionaire. I have so many other entrepreneurial business ideas, but for NOW I’m trying to “perfect” this business and this business only. Don’t be a quitter and never give up !!

Networking Skills: This is not always an easy one for artists and/or introverts. Anytime I go to a networking event, I barely see other florists. The room is usually filled with planners, DJs, caterers, and maybe some photographers/videographers. Networking not only helps you build meaning relationships eight other vendors, but it serves as a way to be social when you no longer have co-workers. It has also helped me visit and tour venues I may not have worked at before. It also helps me learn how to talk about my business, and how to sell myself as an artist and business owner.
Advice: Try a small event at first. Maybe go with a friend and have a goal to meet one new person. Also, do it scared !!! Do it with all the butterflies in your tummy, with your heart beating out of your chest, with all the fear and doubts.

“My DREAMS are bigger than my FEARS”
What about you ?

Okay, so before we go, is there anyone you’d like to shoutout for the role they’ve played in helping you develop the essential skills or overcome challenges along the way?

This may sound crazy, or too “woo-woo” to some, BUT I couldn’t be where I am today without my mentor Kathleen Drennan and my life coach Jennifer Grasseschi.

Starting a business in your 40’s is NO JOKE !!
You feel all types of weird feelings, especially when you’ve been taught your whole like to go to college, find a stable 9-5 job with benefits, have a 401k, find a husband, have kids, buy a house etc. etc.
In knew that if I was going to start a business at this age, or any age for that matter, I should reach out to the pros who have been doing it for years. Why spend years making mistakes when you can have someone show you the ropes, right ? This is what Kathleen did for me. I invested in myself and in my business and bought into a mentoring program, and it was the best thing I ever did.

In this program I would learn not only the foundations of starting a business but the foundations of my soul. This program was like technical skills and soft skills all rolled into one. It was like therapy online. I’d have homework like, “what did your parents teach you about money as a child”, “how do you feel…”, “What are you dreams/goals?”, “This is how you price, create a proposal, set up your accounting” etc. etc. It was the FULL package.

Once a week we would also meet with a life coach where we’d talk about our feelings and insecurities and work through them together. This is where Jennifer came in. At the time there were 3 life coaches but Jennifer was definitely my favorite. She was the person I didn’t realize I was looking for my whole life ! With her I felt seen, heard, validated, and coached not judged or criticized. She taught me how to FEEL my feelings and work through all my crazy thoughts. She taught me wonderful strategies that would stay with me forever. I feel now I have the tools to get me through any challenge/conflict.

Contact Info:

Image Credits

Maura Black Photography
Alma Photo and Video
Rosemary J. Photography

Suggest a Story: BoldJourney is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems,
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
Highlighter Series
Are you doing what you were born to do—or what you were told to do?

Culture, economic circumstances, family traditions, local customs and more can often influence us more than

Highlighter Series
What are you most proud of building — that nobody sees?

We think this is an essential question because so often there is a disconnect between

Highlighter Series
Is the public version of you the real you?

We all think we’re being real—whether in public or in private—but the deeper challenge is