Meet Dethcaps

We were lucky to catch up with Dethcaps recently and have shared our conversation below.

Dethcaps, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?

Kalena: It took years of personal growth in understanding that I am truly 1 of 1, and I need to be authentically myself in every aspect of my life. With that, I also learned that self confidence is a journey and not a destination. I am constantly growing and changing in hopes to be a better version of myself inside and out. Though I do have my moments of insecurity, I do feel like my self confidence shines through because I have a true love for myself and who I’ve become. A quote that has carried me thus far, “You were born with you, you’re going to die with you, so you need to love you.” 

Tai: It sounds like a cliche but honestly just going for it. I had things that I wanted to do so badly, and wanted to be good at so badly, that I started doing them no matter what even if I was completely awful at first, and kept punching at it until I felt proud, which lead to feeling confident, which lead to feeling better about myself!

Shelby: This has been one of my life-long struggles, especially as someone that struggles with anxiety. The voices in my head often belittle me, but I remind myself that just because I have a thought does not mean it is true. Taking time to find a hobby and passion has made me grow to love myself more, as I see what I’m capable of. Learning how to play guitar has had ripple effects in my life, including my growing self-esteem. My confidence stems from my personal style and makeup – when I feel in control of the way I present myself, I am able to navigate the world with much more confidence.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

Kalena: I am the lead guitarist and one of the main vocalist in my band dethcaps. The most special thing about being part of the band is that we started as friends and starting a band together made us inseparable. We act as a team and are always pushing each other to venture outside of our comfort zones. We are very transparent with one another and we don’t take criticism towards each other personally because we have a universal understanding that it’s all out of love. 

I’d also like to highlight the fact that we all contribute to our bands success by doing everything together. We film/edit our own videos, co-write our songs, collaborate on the production of songs, run our own social media, and have a release schedule for music. Personally I enjoy being able to style the band for shows, interviews, or other events. 

Tai: I am the primary producer behind the indie band dethcaps, as well as play bass and sing within the band. I feel like it’s special because at the core of the band we truly love each other deeply, and I think that resonates through the music and strengthens the intensity of the emotions felt within it. We have a new single out on December 13th that we’re mega excited about sharing with you!

Shelby: We are an indie bubblegrunge band. We love to mix poppy melodies and lyrics with grungy and distorted guitar. We are a femme and queer-centered band and our visibility within the rock space is super important. We strive to always make the younger generation feel seen. Performing live allows us to see this impact in real-time, and have meaningful interactions with fans. Our new single “Little Secret” is releasing Dec 13th.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Kalena: Three qualities that are the most impactful for our journey are: vulnerability, drive, and an ultimate love for music. When we first started songwriting as a band, I often questioned whether the lyrics I wrote were cheesy or nonsensical. To my surprise the vulnerability of our songwriting all together is a compliment we receive often because fans are able to relate. We also are very transparent with one another which goes hand in hand with being vulnerable because it has given me the confidence to speak my mind more often. Together we have an undeniable drive because we all want what’s best for each other and the band as a whole. We often reassure each other on how much we’ve grown as a band and can’t wait to see where our hard work takes us. All of us have such a close relationship with music because our music tastes shaped us individually and has connected us as a band. 

Advice I’d like to give is that patience is the most important trait. It can be overwhelming and exhausting to compare yourself to others who are where you want to be, but understanding that hard work and dedication makes the journey more satisfying. It’s also important to constantly inspire yourself so don’t be afraid to try new things or draw inspiration from others. 

Tai: I would say the top three qualities are 1. Getting over the fear of failing 2. High Tolerance for repetition 3. Killing the ego

For getting over the fear of failing, I would say the best thing to do is putting yourself in as many situations as possible where things can go poorly instead of hyper focusing on one perfect attempt. This goes for playing shows you’re not sure about, releasing songs you’re not quite in perfect love with, and showing people around you what you’re working on. It feels like you want to show a perfect product for every facet of yourself, but the encouragement or critical feedback (see point 3: killing ego) are super important.

For high tolerance for repetition, get over the fun mindset I would say. When you’re starting out on something and you hit the point where you are no longer having fun, that’s ok, you’re actively grinding away at something instead of staying in the idyllic “this is all brand new to me” mindset. You’ll slowly learn to celebrate little victories within your repetition, you’ll learn when to add new skills, and you’ll learn to improve your workflow so the ultra repetitive tasks become faster and faster. The fun will come back, but be a different more rewarding type of fun, because you fully understand that some of the more tedious moments did not define the experience.

Killing the ego is the single most important thing you can work on, as if you don’t do that, nothing else I’ve said in this entire interview will resonate with you, as your filter will be on and your shields will be up. Work on accepting that there are billions of people just as talented, bright and nuanced as you, and the only difference between them and you is the ability to grow through iteration. Seek out peers in whatever you do, no matter what skill level you are out, and seek out feedback early and often. Note that I have said feedback, not praise. Have your filter that you see the feedback through as blank as possible and focus on learning any bit of knowledge that can help you in your next iteration. People will give you the whole game if you listen.

Shelby: Curiosity: Wanting to try new things or take on new projects is what has allowed us to expand our band’s universe. Since there are 3 of us, we get to each focus on what is most intriguing, ultimately leading to growth.
Consistency: We practice a minimum of once a week, and make sure to maintain a steady stream of social media content. Even on days where I have low motivation, pushing myself to do something for the band is crucial.
Communication: We are constantly sharing ideas and progress to make sure we are on the same page. We are also able to open up and talk honestly with each other. We value each others critiques and do not take it personally when a band member isn’t feeling something. I think this honesty has made our songs the best they can be.

Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?

Kalena: When I feel overwhelmed I definitely reach out to my other band mates to seek clarity and reassurance. I struggle with time management so writing things down helps to sort out things I need to accomplish or resolve. I also really like to watch movies or play video games to allow myself to detach for a moment so that I can give myself time to reassess what was overwhelming me. Sometimes when I’m overwhelmed I like to start with a clean environment because the space around you can affect your thoughts negatively and positively. 

Tai: When I feel overwhelmed, I like to do the 444 breathing exercise, as it instantly brings me to a calmer state. I also like to take a step back and look at the issue in a holistic sense rather than the micro focus that tends to happen when you’re feeling overwhelmed. On the other hand, if I’m feeling overwhelmed by an extremely large task, I like to go extremely granular, and look into what very little thing I can do today without adding any stress, that would easily lead to the next piece, hopefully starting a waterfall of relevant completed tasks.

Shelby: When I feel overwhelmed, I like to take my dog for a walk, with no headphones, just taking in the outside noise, which gives me a chance to parse through my thoughts in a low-pressure way. I also love to put on my favorite song in the car and scream-sing along with it. Another super helpful tactic is writing! I use my journal to dump streams of consciousness – that way I no longer have to hold onto all of the thoughts that were bouncing around in my head and causing overwhelm.

Contact Info:

Image Credits

Marissa Rocke, jmmerboy on ig, onecrod on ig, Rockin Ryan from Music Junkie Press

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