Meet Tamica Kibonge

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Tamica Kibonge. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Tamica, thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?

My resilience was birthed through the womb of adversity. When the challenges of life came and knocked me down, I knew I couldn’t stay there. I had a choice to make, either lay down in defeat or fight with all I have to get back up. I chose to get up! I wanted the best life I could possibly have, and to obtain that life I knew I couldn’t give into my feelings or circumstances. I had to turn to God and trust Him. I had to rely on God for strength. He became my strength in the time of trouble. He is the foundation of my resiliency.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

Hey! My name is Tamica Kibonge and I am 41 years old. I am a mother of 3 wonderful kiddos, a small business owner, and a published author. I own a commercial cleaning company, ‘Maid From Above.’ My kids are amazing. Being their mom has taught me so much about myself. They challenge me daily to grow and become my very best. My company currently provides cleaning services for commercial properties. Owning my own business has been such a blessing! One of the most beautiful parts of the business is all the wonderful people I meet. I LOVE PEOPLE! Cultivating meaningful relationships means so much to me. Through the working and growing my business, I’ve been privileged to meet and work with so many different people. The beginning of the year I published my second book, ‘Beautiful Rejection.’ Beautiful Rejection is a journey and a testimony of how God took something so ugly as rejection, and did a beautiful work on the inside of me. The rejection I speak of stems from my husband wanting a divorce. Although the rejection was extremely painful, I’m truly grateful for the process I had to undergo. I emerged greater and even better than I was before the rejection. I learned so much about myself. I learned that we often times see how others hurt us, but we fail to see how we hurt others and how we hurt God. God revealed to me that I was no different nor was I better than my husband. What made the rejection beautiful was that I was able to see my flaws, fall in love with myself anyhow, as well as make the necessary changes in order for me to be who God wants and has called me to be. I would love to use both my business and my book to help, encourage, and to inspire others to preserve, love themselves- flaws and all, and to be the very best version of themselves.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Accountability, Self-reflection , Forgiveness of self and others.

Accountability brings you into a place of humility. Being able to admit you’re wrong, you made a mistake, or whatever it may be takes strength and courage and it drives out pride, Accountability is vital in me raising my kids, operating the business, and telling my story in my book. I believe accountability opens the door for others to trust you. I believe accountability closes the door of ‘perfection’ and makes room for ‘progression.’

I believe self-reflection is vital for personal growth. It’s hard to identify the areas of change in your life that needs improvement if you never take the time to reflect. Self-reflection can improve every area of your life as well as your relationships. Many times we are looking to and expecting others to change, when we are the ones that need to change.

Forgiveness of self and others is necessary for healing and moving forward. Forgiveness is extremely important because without it I believe it keeps us stagnant. I believe unforgiveness keeps us in mental and emotional prisons. It’s also a breeding ground for bitterness and resentment. It’s hard to be successful any area of life carrying the weight of unforgiveness. I had to learn to forgive both my husband and myself. I had to forgive him for hurting me, and by me taking accountability and through self-reflection, I realized that I hurt him too at times and that I had to forgive myself for that. Forgiving and asking for forgiveness freed me! It opened up my mental capacity and I was able to focus better on my kids and business. It healed me emotionally and I found peace and joy. Forgiveness is more important than we realize and affects more than people think. Forgiveness brings forth deliverance and it allows you to truly live.

Looking back over the past 12 months or so, what do you think has been your biggest area of improvement or growth?

My biggest area of growth this year has been being freed from the opinion of others. For most of my life I worried about what people thought about me. After going through the process of being rejected, I fell deeply in love with myself. I learned to love the things I didn’t like about me. I learned that I wasn’t the sum total of my mistakes or flaws. I learned that it’s okay to make mistakes because that’s how you learn. I learned that I’m awesome just the way that I am, and other people’s opinions of me don’t really bother me anymore because I now know who I am and I’m confident in her! Others opinions of me doesn’t have to be my truth. I learned that I have to know who I am and be confident in myself, so that my identity doesn’t become lost in, or defined by the opinion of others. That was a huge win for me! But the victory only came because I went through and endured the brutal process of the rejection. I stayed on the potter’s and allowed the heavy, yet gentle hands of God to mold and shape me. I allowed His word to transform my thinking. I allowed His love in, and it drove out fear. And because I didn’t get off that wheel, I’ve been set free!

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