Meet Kristy Gardner

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Kristy Gardner. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Kristy, so great to be with you and I think a lot of folks are going to benefit from hearing your story and lessons and wisdom. Imposter Syndrome is something that we know how words to describe, but it’s something that has held people back forever and so we’re really interested to hear about your story and how you overcame imposter syndrome.

I didn’t. I don’t know a single writer or creative who, at times, doesn’t feel like they’re not good enough. Like they’ll be “found out” or exposed for being a fraud, or who doesn’t second guess their abilities to build something incredible.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve turned on my laptop and grappled with mild–debilitating?–panic when faced with the blank page of a new project. What if they hate it? What if it’s trash? What if I’ve run out of ideas and can’t even begin?

I think that’s the heart and truth of imposter syndrome–it’s like grief; it never fully goes away, but we learn how to cope with it. For me, that’s acknowledging the fear, and doing it scared. This is especially difficult for me–a perfectionist and recovering over-achiever.

The reality is, the first attempt (or several) may in fact, be complete garbage. That’s okay. I remind myself there are very few things in life we ace on the first go. If you love something, set it free of your expectations, and do it for the adventure. The joy. The challenge. The tears, in my case. Then see what comes of it.

In may work, overcoming imposter syndrome is about being in the moment, in my experience, and letting go of what I can’t control–which is pretty much everything.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I’m a sci-fi and horror author. I write complex, queer characters who adventure through space, time, and emotional maelstroms questioning what home and identity mean.

We write what we know, don’t we? I tend to write fast-paced books with lots of action and emotional damage, fielded by complex characters who are trying to find their place in an often broken world–whether that’s on Earth, or a reimagined future. There’s lots of dark twisty places and unexpected surprises (why should the story be straight when I’m not?) As a bi woman myself, I’ve wrangled with questions of belonging my whole life, and that theme shows up a lot in my books. There’s queer joy, queer angst, and most important–queer love. For each other, the planet, and ourselves.

The Broken Stars trilogy was born out of a decade of fear, loneliness, and like I mentioned before, love. When I started writing this series, I’d spent the better part of a decade neglecting my needs and stuffing my voice deep down inside to the point where I became emotionally paralyzed. For most of my life I was living two selves at once: the one the world demanded I be, and the one who was curled up inside, screaming to get out.

Nine years passed between the first book in the series (and the first novel I’d ever written), The Stars In Their Eyes, The Darkest Stars (book 2), and the final book which released this fall, The Stars Inside Us. It’s unnerving to see how main character Calay’s path so closely mirrors my own, but I believe there’s power (and magic) in vulnerability.

I wrote these books for myself, but also for the readers who’ve gone to the dark place and survived. For those of us who (eventually) choose our own endings. I hope readers find the journey within my pages dark, horrifying, beautiful, and healing.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

Curiosity, commitment, and authenticity.

If you’re a writer, put your butt in the chair and write the stories you want to read. Pull from your experience, even if your stories are brimming with nerdy things like aliens and hellfire. Tell the truth and don’t worry about it being “good”–it likely won’t be at first; that’s okay. If you can find a few other writers in your genre, buddy up, have writing dates, and share your experience. They make the long path to writing (and publishing) a book a little less lonely.

If you aren’t a writer, I suppose the same advice applies: carve time out of your day (even 20 minutes in the morning or evening) to dedicate to your project without distractions and protect it at all costs; it may take time, enjoy the process–even when you don’t feel like it because consistency pays off. And surround yourself with folks who “get it” and understand your challenges and will celebrate your wins.

Whoever you are, do the damn thing.

Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?

When I started my author journey, I was self-employed and had total control over my schedule. This meant I could dedicate full days to writing books I wasn’t earning money on, and scrape by eating ramen noodles with only a couple clients to pay my rent. A year ago I accepted a full-time, corporate job and upended everything. For the first time in my life I understand the plight and reality of *most* writers: finding time to write.

The first ten months at the new gig were brutal–the schedule and emotional investment were exhausting. It was all I could do not to collapse at the end of each day. had to acknowledge I’d need time to adjust and grant myself compassion and patience, even though my mind was screaming FOMO. It sounds cheesy, but yoga, breathwork, journaling, and a little therapy supported me through it all.

I’ve got my feet under me now, and am learning how to be okay with smaller creative sessions. Instead of a 4000 word writing day, I’m easing into 500 words, knowing small steps make a journey.

For me, that looks like getting up an hour earlier–yes, it sucks in the cold, long, dark mornings of winter. I’ve learned over the last fourteen months though that by evening, I’m spent. So I get up, breakfast, attempt to clean myself up a little, and then I put my butt in the chair and write as much as I can in sixty minutes before I go to work.

Is it perfect? Absolutely not. But it’s progress.

Contact Info:

Image Credits

Two styled author photos courtesy of Isle + Oak Photography

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