We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Jonathan Marcotte. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Jonathan below.
Jonathan , we are so deeply grateful to you for opening up about your journey with mental health in the hops that it can help someone who might be going through something similar. Can you talk to us about your mental health journey and how you overcame or persisted despite any issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.
I have had symptoms of Narcolepsy Type 2 (NT2) since elementary school, though I didn’t know it at the time. NT2 is a neurocognitive mental health disorder that affects the brain’s ability to maintain deep sleep (the reparative and restful sleep stage), which results in several symptoms, including: fatigue, sleep attacks, and irritability – all the problems you might expect if you did not sleep for a few days. NT2 differs from Type 1 (NT1) in that it has all the same symptoms except for cataplexy (losing bodily control and collapsing in the presence of strong emotions). Therefore, it wasn’t as obvious as NT1 to see that something was wrong. Everyone thought I was a super laid back kid who could get comfortable and fall asleep anywhere – it was an endearing quirk to my friends. Few suspected something was wrong. In high school, my reputation changed from being a laid back kid to being the guy who was “high” all the time – though I was never into marijuana. My eyes were always half open, my reaction time was slow, and I’d take 4 hour naps every day if I could. I thought I was normal – other people take naps, their muscles fatigue, they get tired after meals, etc… I didn’t know it wasn’t normal to collapse in a tired sleepy spell after eating a donut. Most people would get sleepy, but the difference is that most people would recover in 15-20 minutes, whereas I would be out of commission for at least 3 hours.
In my adult life, it wasn’t until I was married with kids that the NT2 symptoms became “dysfunctional.” Day after day, I’d get more tired and my muscles more fatigued, often to the point where I’d lay down on the floor, unable to move for hours. It wasn’t helping that I had also pushed through my doctorate in Clinical Psychology and started a Mental Health clinic, Sacred Ground Psychotherapy, with my wife. Professionally, I found the sedentary nature of being a Clinical Psychologist, combined with my remarkable interest in people and in mastering my therapeutic craft, allowed me to conserve my energy and maintain the optimal mental stimulation needed to give my clients my all without being encumbered by NT2 symptoms. Outside of the clinic environment, however, the fatigue, sleep attacks, and irritability became so detrimental to my functionality and relationships that I started my 8 year journey to find out what the heck is going on. I spoke with my primary care doctor who said I’m just anxious (go figure… my body isn’t responding to me), an endocrinologist who ran several tests and couldn’t find an answer, a nephrologist, a therapist, and a psychiatrist. Finally, I saw a sleep doctor who screened for several symptoms of narcolepsy – all of which clicked immediately with my life experiences since grade school. After I completed a sleep study and obtained the diagnosis of NT2, it felt like the missing piece was found, context was finally provided, and countless life experiences made more sense. After attaining proper treatment via medication and a healthier lifestyle, I felt more awake than I had in years!
Unfortunately, my story is common in the mental health world, where people see several (often invalidating) doctors before discovering their underlying problem. Its hard to push through life with an undiagnosed mental illness. I have been blessed with opportunities to pursue my passions and navigate the world of being married with 4 children. My wife was a major source of strength in this time, and I am forever grateful for her grit and willingness to put up with my unpredictable sleepiness and irritability. I have learned the power of persistence by watching her as well as seeing what I could accomplish while moving through life half-asleep.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
After obtaining my license as a Clinical Psychologist, my wife and I started our clinic, Sacred Ground Psychotherapy (SGP). SGP is a Catholic-Christian clinic that specializes in working with individuals and couples. It was initially set up in Lincoln, NE in 2019 and then transferred to Keller, TX in 2021. At SGP, our mission is to promote wholehearted healing and connection throughout the world by creating a space where people can feel vulnerable and loved at the same time. I hold to this mission not just in my professional life, but also in my personal life as a husband, father, son, and brother. I have chosen to specialize in couples therapy with the therapeutic approach called Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). EFT is based on rich attachment science, what I like to call “love science,” and is well-known to have the best research supporting its effectiveness for couples. The “secret of success” that makes EFT so effective is it’s focus on using the rapid shifts in emotion as a doorway to discovering each partners’ underlying intentions for closeness and connection. In this way, EFT uses a bottom-up approach to help couples move towards this connection in an “instinctual” way, rather than a top-down approach that uses worksheets and exercises to improve the bond.
Additionally, SGP is a training clinic where both me and my wife strive for excellence in couples therapy and hold our clinicians to this standard as well. We train our clinicians by having them bring recorded sessions to a consultation where their skills can be assessed, sharpened, and optimized to help their clients achieve a place where they can feel vulnerable and loved at the same time. We place a high value on clinical excellence in order to have the best possible chance of fulfilling our mission.
SGP currently offer individual and couples session to individuals 18+. We also offer a Couples Intensive Retreat, where we have found that couples achieve 3 months worth of therapy in 3 days of intense focus from one of our therapists.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
There were 3 elements that helped me be successful in my professional goals and fortunate in my personal life while struggling with NT2.
The first was optimism. I truly believe that if I was not optimistic in nature, I would have fallen short of my objectives. I often wonder if having the diagnosis of NT2 early on would have hurt my optimism and led me to have lower standards for my life. However, being optimistic in the face of remarkable hurdles and seemingly impossible goals gave me (a sometimes delusional) hope, and I’m so happy it did!
The second element was a lesson I learned from my favorite book, “The Tortoise and the Hare.” I lived much of my adult life struggling to move my tired body. On a bad day, it would be tough just to walk from 1 room in my house to another, much less to go up the stairs or to chase toddlers! In those moments, I like to reflect on “The Tortoise and the Hare,” and remember that speed doesn’t matter as much as simply moving forward. This lesson helps me trust the process of persistence, remain self-compassionate, and push myself across every finish line.
The third element was something my father told me – “enjoy the journey.” These three words, “enjoy the journey,” expand my heart when life feels impossible and encourages me to take in all of my experiences – good and bad – with excitement and gratitude. To embrace the pain of failure, agony of rejection, and terror of vulnerability, as well as the (sometimes equally difficult) highs of success, love from my wife, and pride in my kids. “Enjoy the journey” is my go-to line when riding the rollercoaster of life, and life’s never been more fun.
Who has been most helpful in helping you overcome challenges or build and develop the essential skills, qualities or knowledge you needed to be successful?
The most helpful person in my life has been my wife, Alex. She has been a rock and a miracle worker when it comes to my life and dreams. She provides warm support, an incredible combination of creative and analytical skills, and a person with whom to work through the highs and lows of life. In our clinic, I am more of a visionary – an idea guy who can think of fun goals for our clinic and attain the bare minimum essentials to make the projects work, but with low attention to details. Alex is an integrator – the person who makes these ideas a reality. If I said I wanted to go to the moon, she’d figure out all the obstacles between me and moon and systematically remove them until we got there. I like to think of our clinic’s skeleton, muscles, and bones as my gift, whereas Alex is the skin, clothes, and everything else that the world might encounter. Her gifts are to breath life into SGP and to make it as warm, efficient, and aesthetically pleasing as possible. If I did this journey by myself, I’d have a scrappy clinic – Alex is the one who not only helps me overcome obstacles and challenges but also takes my ideas and makes them into a reality that blows my imagination away.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.sgpsych.com
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sacredgroundpsych
Image Credits
Lacey Whitmer
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