We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Gayle Petrillo a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Gayle, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
I was burned as a toddler.
We were playing in the beautiful fall leaves that pretty October day in Upstate New York. We ran into our neighbor’s house as the smell of the fresh baked cookies wafted through the screen door. Our moms were preparing a grown up tea party for them and their daughters.
As I climbed on the bench next to the kitchen table, I spotted small candies spread across the linen tablecloth. I reached for one, toppling the fresh percolator of coffee off the table and all over me. It happened in seconds. The heat was so intense it burned through my layers of clothes, through my skin to my bone, burning 40% of my tiny body. My parents didn’t know if I would live.
That was before 911, pediatric icus and limited knowledge of burn trauma.
That giddy, girly girl who loved meeting new people and going new places was gone and replaced by a fraidy cat. I became afraid of everyone and everything.
In school I never raised my hand even though I knew the answers. I did everything I could to not draw attention to myself. My fears and phobias, rational and irrational, were so huge they controlled my life. I no longer wanted to play outside for fear of snakes was that bad. I wouldn’t cook on a gas stove because I wouldn’t light the match to start the pilot light and I was terrified of the flames.
Before moving to Tucson, Arizona I KNEW I had to do something about some of my fears. So I sought out a PhD student conducting his dissertation on overcoming phobias. When I first met him, I couldn’t even touch a picture of a snake, hold a rubber snake or a worm. My first homework assignment was to touch the picture of snakes in the Golden Book of Reptiles – over and over and over again. When I graduated my one on one class with him 4 months later, not only could I touch the rubber snake, I could remove Max, a pretty corn snake, from his terrarium, wrap him around my arm, and put him back.
How did I come this far? I learned that by exposure and repetition, we can overcome our fears and phobias. The rubber snake is just like our car tires – rubber, just in a different shape.
I now walk and ride my bike across bridges nearly every day. That’s a huge step in developing my confidence and overcoming my fears and phobias.
My husband was instrumental in helping me with my confidence and self-esteem. We met when we were 26 and 31. I had no self-confidence. I wouldn’t walk into a room of strangers at a networking event without holding his hand. Over many months, he encouraged me by taking me into a group of people he knew, left me with them and then coming back to get me and moving to another set of attendees.
I was fortunate in the late 90’s to be chosen to attend Dale Carnegie courses through my employer. These courses helped build my confidence by teaching ways to remember names and that most everyone likes talking about themselves, meaning I didn’t have to do all the talking. I became a great listener.
Another fortunate occurrence was having the opportunity to attend the Disney Institute. There I learned a lot about leadership. Onstage/Offstage are some of the principles I now teach my clients.
Twenty years ago I earned my Master’s Degree in Healthcare Administration. I found out how smart I am and that by sharing my knowledge, and listening to others’ opinions and facts, I get smarter.
Then I got braces which helped me turn a corner. I wasn’t any longer afraid to smile, and now understand that when we smile, our smiles are contagious and others respond likewise, with their smile.
Now I’m a coach and speaker and I wrote my story during Covid to encourage others to share their stories because we need to know that we are not alone. Everyone has been burned, physically and/or emotionally, and that by sharing, we begin the healing process.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
My husband Al, my best friend and most avid supporter, and I have been married for 43 years.
I retired from corporate healthcare six years ago and created First Impressions Image Consulting. Because we never get a second opportunity to make a first impression, I coach corporate clients about the importance of first impressions, from answering the telephone, to lobby and website appearance, customer service is the key to success.
For my individual clients, I create resumes that standout from the competition, conduct mock interviews to prepare them for the questions which will be asked to the questions they should be asking. I work with them on negotiation strategies, networking skills and wardrobe analysis. We sometimes shop together in their closet and/or retail and online stores. This helps build my clients’ self-esteem and confidence. You can’t land in your ideal job without the confidence to sell yourself.
Now I am speaking publicly about my story, my book, The Accident (www.booklocker.com/11593) in front of school classrooms, Girl Scout troops, at Rotary and Kiwanis Clubs, as a guest on podcasts, at book readings and signings, women’s lunches and conferences, etc.
It is now my time to give back to the generous Tucson community we’ve belonged to for over 24 years. I am the Board Chair for Junior Achievement of Southern Arizona. Currently I am Vice Chair for the American Red Cross of Southern Arizona (burn survivors rely on plasma and platelets to heal), and I serve on the Arizona Burn Foundation’s Advisory Council in Tucson.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
I will share that to believe in ourselves, it helps to remember our successes and tout them when given the opportunity to do so. There’s a difference between being a braggart and understanding when the time is right to capitalize on your achievements both in public and privately.
Write down when things have gone well. You’ll want to recall them when doubt rears its ugly head and you can talk back to that nagging voice (name it) that tells us we are not smart enough, not strong enough etc. so we enable ourselves to achieve what we need and want to do.
I believe learning proper etiquette, including body language, also helped me build my confidence. While traveling solo for business, I didn’t want to eat alone in my hotel room, so I stood tall and walked into restaurants asking for a table for one or at the bar. At first I faced the wall so I didn’t have to look at people and wonder what they thought about why I was eating alone. Eventually I got comfortable enough to face the other diners.
Getting braces helped me too. Do something for yourself. Self-care is important. I wouldn’t smile without putting my hand in front of my mouth prior to my braces coming off.
Lastly, we’ve all heard that fear of public speaking is the #1 fear. I have sought out opportunities through friends and networking connections, then I practice, speak and repeat.
How would you describe your ideal client?
My ideal clients include organizations and schools seeking a motivational speaker for breakouts, commencement and/or keynote address. My presentation topics include my story of overcoming obstacles and turning them into opportunities. Additionally, I speak about fears, phobias, body image, distrust, bullying and lack of self-confidence. The feedback I have received includes “inspirational”; “motivational”, “courageous”, “encouraging” and “powerful”.
Additionally, I work with high school juniors and seniors as they prepare to interview for college and/or first employment; college seniors and women in their 40’s and 50’s looking to transition from one career into another. It’s all about self-confidence, empowerment, and learning to be comfortable in our own skin, something I have just recently gained.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.firstimpressions.1.com
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Gaylepetrillo602
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gayle-petrillo/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5ww4yUgzglTRX9u57_E0ew
Image Credits
Photos by Michelle Owens, Artifact Photography, Tucson, AZ
