Meet Sayword B. Eller

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Sayword B. Eller. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Sayword B. below.

Sayword B. , so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.

I would say, I’m still developing them. I’m intrinsically motivated, so whenever I finish a task or level up a skill, my self-confidence and self-esteem also get a boost. I’ll also be completely transparent and tell you they ebb and flow. I’m not always confident. Sometimes I second-guess myself until an opportunity is missed. I guess that’s the humanness of confidence and self-esteem; they’re not always high, and outside influences often impact them.

My confidence and self-esteem are strongest in my professional life. I’ve spent almost thirty years honing my craft. A little over a decade ago I found my voice and style, and I’ve worked to strengthen and improve them. Every book, story, blog post, or article I finish only improves my voice and style, and (because I’m intrinsically motivated) boosts my confidence and self-esteem. Now, when I sit down to begin a new project, I know I’ll be able to keep the train on the rails and come out of it with a story that is succinct and enjoyable. My first completed novel was a mess of head-hopping, bad tropes, clichés, and overused crutch words and phrases. I was comparing myself to the greats thinking there was no way I would be good enough in the future because I wasn’t as good as them in that moment. Connecting with others in the writing community, listening to their guidance, and putting a muzzle on my imposter syndrome helped me find the confidence I needed to keep learning and developing my skills.

So, I suppose the short answer is learning and developing my skills played an instrumental role in developing my confidence and self-esteem. Professionally, at least. I’ll let you know if my personal self ever catches up.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I’m a novelist of upmarket fiction, though I have upcoming projects in other genres. Upmarket, for those who don’t know, is just a fancy way to say the stories I write appeal to readers of mainstream and literary fiction. I tend to tackle topics that are considered taboo. For instance, my debut, The Things We Lose in the Dark (October 2024), is about a sexual abuse survivor who, following a failed suicide attempt, returns to the family she abandoned and the hometown where she was abused for six years.

It took me a long time to figure out what kind of novelist I wanted to be. Way back in the late ’90s, I thought I would write romance because that’s what women were expected to write. I struggled with that decision for years because I knew it wasn’t really for me. I love romance (especially romcoms and chicklit), but I knew it wasn’t my genre. I dabbled in women’s fiction for a while, especially after 2017 when I leaned into the more serious topics. I found my place, my genre home, in 2020 when I signed with an agent and we discussed my brand. Finding where my work fit after so long was a huge boost for me.

Fiction gets people talking. It’s a great conversation starter, especially when the story it tells centers on themes not often openly discussed. That’s what makes what I do so exciting and fulfilling. There are a lot of things our society talks about behind closed doors. If writers like me keep writing these stories we may help to open those doors and bring those topics out into the light where they should’ve been all along.

I have this hope that one day I’ll receive messages from readers telling me how much they love my work and how much they appreciate the care I take with the topics; how much work I put into making sure my readers aren’t injured all over again. I’m creating worlds and families, people who suffer terrible things, horrible things that some of the people who may read my work have suffered. I take great care in telling a story that may help them heal, or at least help them understand they aren’t alone in this, that other people out there have experienced this terrible thing. It’s a delicate balance of entertainment and respect. I want to tell a great story but I want to do it in a way that is respectful to the topic and survivors. All of this to say, I take my job very seriously.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

There’s this myth that being a writer is easy. People think, oh I want to write a book, it should be fun. In reality, there are fun moments but there are many moments when we question our sanity. Writing is very hard work.

There are many skills a writer needs; skills that will be developed and honed over the many years of one’s career. Knowledge is gained through writing and reading, and through becoming involved with the writing community, not only online but also in real life. I learned the most about myself and my writing through my in-person writing and critique groups and hanging out with other writers. Sure, I have an MFA now, but I was already a seasoned writer before I signed up for a single class.

Developing skills and knowledge is something done over time, but there are three qualities a good writer should have.

1) Obstinance. A writer, especially one who wants to be published traditionally, has to be okay with hearing “no”. It can still be heartbreaking, you can still be really sad about hearing it, but you have to be able to shake it off and keep going. If you’re not obstinate enough to keep going after rejection, you’re going to have a tough time in this business.

2) Empathy. As writers, we live dozens of lives that are outside our experiences. We need to be able to put ourselves into the head and heart of another person. We need to see the world the way they would see it, not the way we would.

3) Openness. A writer should always be open to feedback from their contemporaries. So many newer writers depend on beta readers, and that’s fine. You do you. But no one is going to know the nuts and bolts of a story quite like another writer. They’re going to spot things readers won’t, and they’re great to bounce ideas off of. When I’d written three pages of what is now my debut, I immediately sent them to a writer friend for feedback. Did I like the suggestions she sent back? Not entirely. Did they help get my story where it needed to be? Absolutely. If I hadn’t been open to that feedback, I might not have a debut right now.

My best advice is to read as much as you can. Even if it’s one or two books a year. Reading not only helps us develop craft skills, but it also helps with empathy. Most importantly, get out there into your community. Meet other writers. Have meetups to write or just go out for a drink and discuss ideas. You may not need to experience everything your character does to write a believable story, but you do need some real-world experience to make it work.

Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?

As an indie (read: self-published) author, my biggest obstacle at the moment is getting eyes on my work. I’d like to take a more traditional approach with awards and reviews, but the most recognizable of those are often too expensive for a small indie author, or they don’t accept self-published work. Sadly, the publishing industry hasn’t stayed up to date on the quality of work being turned out by self-published authors, so there is still a stigma associated with self-publishing.

Lately, I’ve been looking into the best ways to get my work out to the masses. Many feel pressured to pay influencers or create massive amounts of content for social media, but that isn’t something I’m interested in doing. This means it will take me longer to find my readers, but I’m in this for the long haul, so all I have is time.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://saywordbeller.com
• Instagram: https://instagram.com/sayword_b_eller
• Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/sawordbeller
• Other: I am also on Threads and TikTok, both with the handle @sayword_b_eller.