Meet M.l. Hamilton

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful M.l. Hamilton. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with M.L. below.

Hi M.L. , thank you so much for opening up with us about some important, but sometimes personal topics. One that really matters to us is overcoming Imposter Syndrome because we’ve seen how so many people are held back in life because of this and so we’d really appreciate hearing about how you overcame Imposter Syndrome.

Imposter syndrome is the bane of any writer. I still struggle with calling myself an author because of it. I wrote from the time I was in elementary school, even winning a contest, but after a difficult experience in a creative writing class in college, I stopped writing altogether for many years.

When I started again, I never allowed anyone else to see what I wrote, terrified that they would tell me it wasn’t good, and it would take something away from me that was integral to my identity as a human being. After my divorce in 1997, I knew I had to do something for myself, to separate myself from who I was as a mother and a wife.

Writing was the answer, so I joined an online critique group, hosted by Del Rey, Writers would post their chapters on the site and other writers would critique them. I loved the anonymity. The people giving me feedback were faceless. I didn’t know them on any personal level, so whatever they said to me didn’t trigger my fear of rejection. I gained confidence through the years I workshopped my novel on that site.

By the time 2010 rolled around, I felt confident enough to let the world see my work, and I went in search of an agent. I found a publisher instead and the rest, as they say, is history.

Do I still have moments of imposter syndrome? Of course. About midway through every book, the inner monologue starts up saying this book isn’t as good as the last, but I just keep writing. That’s the ticket, isn’t it? When the doubts start to mount, keep doing what you’re doing. Even then, I can’t quiet the imposter whispers until the first reviews come in, but at least they aren’t holding me back any longer.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I grew up just outside of San Francisco, and the City influenced a lot of who I am. I still consider it home, even though I’ve been in the Sacramento Valley since college.

I raised my three boys by myself from the ages of five, two, and three months, and saw them off to college and careers. I’m so proud of the men they’ve become. They all have wonderful partners, and I have two grandbabies with another on the way in March. When I think of my titles, I would put mother at the top of the list. Raising my sons has been the primary focus of my life for the last thirty-plus years.

My second identity is as an English teacher. I have taught in the same district at the same school for the last thirty-two years. For me, being a teacher has been a highlight of my life, and I have been so rewarded by working in an important job, which has allowed me to be a part of so many students’ lives. However, as with all things, it is time for me to give that part of my identity a rest. I’m retiring this May.

My third identity is as an author. I was published in 2010 after a New Year’s Resolution to get serious about my writing. I was with my publisher, Wild Wolf, for five years, but I decided it was time to go out on my own and began writing mystery novels. I had always loved the fantasy genre, but something about mysteries clicked with me and my Peyton Brooks series became my most read books. To date, there have been four separate series with my San Francisco detective as the lead character and the next book in the Hate Crimes Division, The Cross Burning Case, will be out in a few months.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

The three qualities that have been most impactful in my journey are curiosity, perseverance, and humility.

Curiosity is essential in any pursuit, no matter how small. If you aren’t curious, you aren’t open to learning new things and the only way to better yourself in any area is to be open to learning, to trying different ways, and to accept that you might not always know everything. Growth only happens when you are curious enough to find a new way or to hone an old way until it is polished.

Without perseverance, you will sit on your couch, being an observer in your own life. We all get knocked down. There is absolutely no shame in failure. Where the shame happens is in not trying again. If I showed you the number of rejection letters I’ve received from agents and publishers, you could wallpaper a room with it, and yet I keep getting up, dusting myself off, and trying again.

To me, the last quality is the key to the other two. There isn’t enough humility in our world today. We’re taught that our opinion matters on everything. No matter what we do, no matter how trivial something is – say, buying a pair of shoes – we are asked our opinion about it and too often I believe we conflate that to mean that we are always right in every circumstance. Being able to admit when you don’t know something or you are wrong or you should apologize allows us to expand our knowledge base and to try something different. Besides, it makes us better humans to those around us.

My humble advice is to find what you’re passionate about, approach it with humility, keep learning and trying through perseverance, and allow your curiosity to guide you. You never know from where the spark might come, but if you have those three qualities, you can nurture it into something extraordinary.

Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?

Living in our modern, hybrid-world, meaning jostling between our cyber personalities and our real-world personas, can be overwhelming. We wear many hats in this new age, and sometimes it can make juggling all our responsibilities seem impossible.

When I am feeling stressed, I’ve learned to listen to my inner voice. I become very intentional about two areas of my life: my diet and exercise. If I find myself slipping into the quick meal options of fast food or takeout, I force myself to carve out a time at least in the evening to cook. There are a lot of easy, quick recipes you can make at home. I also carve out two hours a week to go to the gym. This is a new habit I have undertaken and often as I’m driving to the gym for my workout, I think I’m too busy to waste time on it, but I force myself to go anyway. I always leave feeling more relaxed and filled with endorphins.

The third thing I do is make lists. I’m a firm believer in lists. I love crossing things off because then I feel in control. My son suggested even putting making a list on the list and crossing it off, so you get an immediate boost of accomplishment. Whenever I’m faced with a difficult decision, I make a pro and con list. It doesn’t have to be elaborate, but making a list helps to chunk something overwhelming into bite-sized morsels.

My final coping mechanism is my sanctuary. I am fortunate enough to have an entire office that is mine and mine alone. I don’t share it with anyone else. Well, except the dogs. If you don’t have room for an office, I would recommend a desk in a corner of the living room or a bedroom, or even just a reading nook where you can go when you need to shut out all the noise and focus. It is hard to overcome stress if the world around you is a circus.

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