Meet Kyson Willis

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Kyson Willis a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Kyson, thank you so much for joining us today. There are so many topics we could discuss, but perhaps one of the most relevant is empathy because it’s at the core of great leadership and so we’d love to hear about how you developed your empathy?

Life circumstances, really. My older sister had a virus attack her brain when she was 21 days old. She lived, however, she only had a functioning brain stem. She taught me not to judge others because you don’t know what they’re going through. I hated derogatory names because “retard” was such a common insult and I spoke up every time I heard it. Growing up trans, pan, and poly in a small heavily Christian and conservative town gave me a taste of what it’s like to be seen as something that isn’t who you are. And also taught me the importance of listening and honoring others for their experience and inner truth. I was bullied a lot and always felt out of place, being able to understand someone, to show empathy, became my goal. I didn’t want anyone to feel as isolated and misunderstood as I did.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I work at TouchPoint counseling in Washington state. We utilize state of the art neurofeedback to help heal our clients on a neurological level as well as provide deep trauma work. Utilizing the comprehensive resource model, I combine parts work, spirituality, and neurobiology to heal deep trauma wounds. Being able to work with someone’s brain alongside deep psychological healing has really changed lives.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Empathy is one of the strongest skills one can have, being able to honor what someone else has to say and truly holding space for them. Being able to meet them as deep as they need you to really fosters the healing bond. Empathy has no judgment, just the deep understanding that we are all human as perfectly flawed as that is.
Integrity has allowed me to do what’s right, especially what’s right for my clients. It takes me out of judgment and allows me to listen to others. Giving them someone they know will treat them with respect and dignity allows the therapeutic process to deepen and enrich everyone’s lives. Knowing no matter what, at the end of the day I can look at myself knowing I did what was right. Allowing ourselves to feel comfortable in our own skin takes a lot of integrity.
Lastly, being queer in such a conservative area for most of my life gave me the understanding of the importance of being seen. We can only meet someone as deeply as we are willing to meet ourselves. Understanding and accepting myself helps me to do the same for my clients without judgment or bias.
My advice is do your own work. It’s something that’s said so much and it’s so important. Only by healing ourselves can we truly bring or offer healing to others. It provides empathy, understanding of the process, and gives the client a solid foundation as they learn how to support themselves.

Looking back over the past 12 months or so, what do you think has been your biggest area of improvement or growth?

The last year has really been about how to cultivate happiness within myself. Through professional growth, moving to a new area, and giving myself permission to enjoy who I am.