Meet Maria Jenkins

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Maria Jenkins. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Maria below.

Maria , thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?

My resilience came from life experiences. As a child I grew up in the home of my grandparents. We did not have much as far as material things but they gave us lots of love and made sure we knew the Bible. Many times I wore hand-me-downs from my sister, they often had patches on them. We grew up with farm animals and large garden. We was taught to be happy with what you have and we made the best out of everything. Although it was my sister and I mostly there was times she went with her father ( which I just learned a few months ago was my father also), I often played alone climbing trees, making corn dolls, or helping my grandparents in the garden. I had an aunt that played a pivotable part in my life also. We would get up early on Saturday morning grab a biscuit from Hardees and head to the laundry mat. My Aunt Addie Mae would also straighten my hair for church on Sunday. Bible study. Sunday school, BTU( Bible Training Union), Jr Usher board and 4H was my foundation. Our family was a God fearing and praying family and we all had family dinner every Sunday at Grandmas house (the entire family). As i grew older I started working as soon as I could to not only help out at home but to be able to purchase new clothes. I got pregnant my last year of school and instead of letting it set me back i continued school and I delivered 2 weeks before graduating but yet I still walked across the stage to get my well earned diploma. I worked different jobs but found my hearts calling working in a Nursing home. I loved the elder and hearing their stories, I often took my kids there on the weekend to visit (especially the ones who family didn’t visit) Later things started getting hard and i found myself in an abusive relationship. I often looked for the love my grandparents had but found myself on the wrong side of a fist. After deciding to leave I joined the military, my aunt kept the kids while i was in training. After getting to my first duty station I took my husband back because he stated he had changed. Little did i know the change didn’t last long. I officially got out of the abusive marriage after and incident with my son. I walked away with the kids ( which at the time I had three) and didn’t look back. During the whole ordeal I kept my faith in GOD and prayed daily sometimes hourly. There was times I felt I could not go on but deep inside there was a light that said keep going! The military taught me so many values loyalty duty respect selfless service honor integrity and last but not least Personal courage. I took those values and added to my roots embedded in the church and kept it moving. I deployed four different times(Iraq/Afghanistan) in support of various operations. It was hard missing family, birthdays and holidays but yet I always found a way through. I often put my soldiers needs above my need to sleep in addition to also being a student (online) in a combat zone. Using mind of matter mentality I persevered and got a degree in multidisciplinary studies. Wanted to show my kids it is not where you come from but if you put your mind to it you can still achieve what you want. Yes there has been lots of tears, discouragement and heartache but as I look back of this road of life I traveled yes there was forks in the road, a few trees down and even large potholes but I carefully maneuvered and although there was setbacks i still moved forward even if i had to crawl. My kids often say I am their hero but they have no idea they are my strength. Being resilient does cost, it cost blood sweat and lots of tears (I shed my tears in silence but the tears washes my soul and gives me the boost to keep going. When i decided to retire to spend time with family ( at this point i had three grandkids which where the most amazing humans i knew) it scared me because I knew i was not the person that left 20 years ago, I had anger, I had PTSD, I was scared my kids would not be able to accept the NEW me. So what did I do? I picked myself out of a hole and walked into the mental health clinic and said” I need help!” Not only did i have these mental issues I was also given a new diagnosis of LUPUS. I had to idea what I was up against but I knew i wanted to live to spend what’s left of life enjoying my family. I started not only medical treatment but also mental health treatment and I was still a soldier so yes still navigating it all just months before retirement but i had my eyes set to become a new version of me. I was hard very hard but i dug deep within and kept forging forward. I picked up crafting making cups shirts and different items and loved it (it became my safe place). Then retirement comes and i came back to NC to be with family. I enjoyed family time but often cried in silence i continued intensive therapy with the VA i have an amazing counselor that let me be me and she pushed me passed my comfort zone I was approved for a new treatment called EMDR ( very skeptical at first) but it worked. I put in lots of hours in treatment and it gave me strength to open up to my family. When i opened up I found out I wasn’t hiding from them I was only hiding from myself. They knew my struggles they knew things was different they knew i was keeping things from them but they loved me through it all. they was waiting on me to be honest with myself. They didn’t care i couldn’t go in large crowds or to see fireworks. They was just happy for my presence. I find my joy in their laughter and love. Yes I still go to therapy and i take medicine (antidepressant) but it doesnt define me I define me. Resilience has been engrained in me and I will continue to have hurdles and mountains but i wont stop. I got my LLC for my crafting business I often do it more for relaxation then to make money.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

As a retired Soldier I am actually in chill mode. I was deployed four times and almost didnt make it back so I enjoy life and nature,. I love to see Gods creations. Sunflowers are my favorite. I also find peace in gardening. I own NINASNIKNAKSS at crafting business. I recently started making my own designs its still a learning curve but I am DOING IT. When i am not crafting I am gardening.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

Looking back over this lifes road, my faith has been the most important thing. Also find the WHY, my why has also been family. Learning to take time for yourself is also a positive thing. I recently find myself seeing thing with new eyes. I enjoy nature and animals their freeness animals don’t seem to be confined my there situation regardless of the fence that holds them they find a way to enjoy life. I used to just see flowers now i notice their beauty their different colors their smell. My advice is dont scurry through life with out enjoying it take a moment of two daily to enjoy, even fresh air inhale deeply notice how it fills your lungs enbrace every moment of life. If you look life is really short and it goes so quickly

Before we go, maybe you can tell us a bit about your parents and what you feel was the most impactful thing they did for you?

Most impactful thing my parents did was to leave me with my grandparents. I never knew my father I actually just confirmed who my father was this year. My mom was an alcoholic and decided it was best to leave me and my sister with my grandparents although she had two boys she had with her. Had they not made those decisions I my sure my path would have been different. My grandparents gave us exactly what we need and it wasnt materialistic it was love values and morales which is very important. Guess what I hold no harsh feelings to neither of them. I actually just connected with my fathers family and it has been amazing.