We recently connected with Jesse Messer and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Jesse, appreciate you sitting with us today to share your wisdom with our readers. So, let’s start with resilience – where do you get your resilience from?
My life hasn’t been easy. I’ve spent 17 years incarcerated, between jail and prison. I began using drugs at 14, and they almost destroyed my life. For a long time, I felt like my life was over, convinced I would be a drug addict forever and never amount to anything. Growing up, I was the kind of person who never finished what I started. I had ideas and plans, but I never followed through. I came from a loving family and a good home, but somewhere along the way, I lost myself. They say gemstones are made under intense pressure, and I feel that’s what happened to me. The way I lived, through drugs and crime, and the painful consequences that followed, pushed me to my limits. Losing everything over and over again only made me stronger, and with each loss, I learned more. The experiences I’ve gone through can’t be taught—they have to be lived to be truly understood. That’s where I believe my resilience comes from.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
My name is Jesse Messer, and today I stand as a recovery and re-entry advocate, as well as the co-founder of the OutlawstoAdvocates.com podcast. But my journey to get here has not been easy. I’ve spent 17 years incarcerated between jail and prison, lost everything I owned time and time again, and struggled with addiction since I was 14. There was a time in my life when committing a dozen felonies by noon seemed normal. I believed that selling drugs was a victimless crime and justified it by thinking people would use drugs anyway. I had no regard for the pain it caused families or the fact that those I sold to were suffering from a disease. For most of my life, I didn’t work. I’d go in and out of jail, make the same mistakes, sell drugs again, and repeat the cycle. I felt worthless, and I couldn’t see a way out. I would go to family gatherings filled with love and support, but as I got older, I felt like an outsider. My cousins had careers, degrees, and stable lives. I felt like the black sheep, unable to even look them in the eye because of the life I was living. I had created a fantasy world in my mind, one built on the lies and values of a criminal lifestyle. That was my identity.
Then, one day, I had an awakening. It hit me that there was no honor in dishonorable living. The moment of realization came when I was sitting in 4th Avenue Jail in Phoenix, AZ, facing an astronomical amount of prison time. For the first time, I truly felt the weight of my actions. I thought my life was over and that they would lock me up and throw away the key. I had lost everything—my family’s trust, my dignity, my future. But in that moment, sitting in that cell, something shifted. I made a decision that changed everything: I would never go through this again. No matter what happened, I was going to change my life.
It wasn’t easy, and it didn’t happen overnight, but that moment in jail sparked a transformation in me. I cried out for help, and though it didn’t come immediately, something began to shift. For the first time, I was truly open to change. I got involved in a 12-step program, found a sponsor, and began taking suggestions. I started working on myself—physically, mentally, and spiritually. I worked out, I got sober, and I helped others. I found that helping others made me stronger and allowed me to heal.
One of the most powerful things I did was begin working. I had never done that before. But I told myself, “If I am ever going to be a responsible, productive member of society, I have to work.” I stopped selling drugs and committing crimes. As a result, I earned my way to a minimum custody yard and eventually a job off-site at a chicken farm. It was the hardest work I had ever done, but it taught me something invaluable—discipline and a strong work ethic. Six days a week, I got up at 4:00 AM, prayed, meditated, and worked 12-hour days. That grind gave me the confidence that I could succeed once I was free.
Inside prison, I built a work ethic, developed a relationship with God, and learned the power of prayer and meditation. I became sober, and I began mentoring others, helping them make the most of their time behind bars and prepare for life on the outside.
As my prison sentence neared its end, I realized that my true calling was to help others who had faced the same struggles I did. Today, I work in behavioral health, teaching peer support certification at one of Arizona’s largest treatment facilities, New Freedom. I mentor incarcerated individuals, showing them how to use their time to improve themselves and prepare for a future they can be proud of. I’m also the co-founder of OutlawstoAdvocates.com podcast, where we discuss recovery, re-entry, and the real-life struggles that come with rebuilding a life after incarceration.
I’m at a point in my life where I can truly say that I add value to the lives of others. The friends I have now are extraordinary. They support me unconditionally, and I’ve never had that before. My life today is filled with purpose, joy, and a deep sense of fulfillment. Most importantly, I have found hope—not just for myself, but for others too. I want everyone to know that recovery is possible, no matter how dark the past may seem. We are all worthy of a better life, and we can overcome anything if we’re willing to change.
I wouldn’t change a thing about my journey, because it’s made me who I am today. And if I can do it, so can you.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
The most important lesson I’ve learned is self-reflection. For so many years, I was blind to the reality of my own life. I refused to see things for what they truly were, and in doing so, I kept repeating the same destructive patterns. But the moment I got honest with myself, I began to change. Self-reflection allowed me to face the truth, to see the consequences of my actions, and to understand that healing would only begin when I stopped running from the truth. It was through this honesty that I was able to start the process of recovery and transformation.
The next quality is resilience. It would have been so easy for me to accept the narrative that I was a career criminal, that I was destined to be nothing more than what I had been. I could have used that as an excuse to keep making the same mistakes and refusing to take responsibility. But I chose a different path. I accepted responsibility for my actions and my recovery. I understood that the consequences I faced were a result of my own choices, and if I ever wanted to change, it was going to be up to me. I decided to stop letting my past define me and found hope in the possibility of change. Over the years of hard work and dedication, I transformed my life, and today, I am living proof that change is possible.
The third quality is service. In the past, I was selfish and self-centered, driven only by my own desires, regardless of who I hurt along the way. But through recovery, I came to understand that true healing comes not from taking, but from giving. Service became my way of showing love in action. By helping others, I found a love for myself that I had never known. Giving back to the community that I had harmed for so many years made me feel that my life had purpose—that my struggles and mistakes weren’t in vain. Saving one person may not change the world, but it can change everything for that individual—their family, their friends, their community. And if I can help even one person, I know it was all worth it.
What was the most impactful thing your parents did for you?
The most impactful thing my parents ever did for me was never giving up on me, even when I had given up on myself. They showed me unconditional love, even when I didn’t deserve it. No matter how many times I was incarcerated, they always answered my calls from jail or prison. They ensured I had money on my books so I could eat, made sure I had a place to sleep, and never judged me. I know there were times when they were deeply angry with me, but during the darkest moments of my life, it was their love that carried me through. For that, I will be forever grateful.
Contact Info:
- Website: Outlawstoadvocates.com
- Facebook: Jesse Messer
- Linkedin: Jesse Messer
