Meet Margaret Nichols

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Margaret Nichols a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Margaret, so great to have you sharing your thoughts and wisdom with our readers and so let’s jump right into one of our favorite topics – empathy. We think a lack of empathy is at the heart of so many issues the world is struggling with and so our hope is to contribute to an environment that fosters the development of empathy. Along those lines, we’d love to hear your thoughts around where your empathy comes from?

I grew up in a very toxic and abusive household. As a child, you can sense this kind of behavior is “wrong” immediately. No one needs to tell you that physical abuse or erratic, violent behaviors are not ok. Although because from the outside eye all of our physical needs were taken care of– beautiful home and suburbs, regular vacations, never really wanted for anything be it a toy or particular clothing, what was going on internally in the household was mostly masked. Until an erratic behavior would pop out publicly.

I begged our family to mental health supports, but no one “believed in therapy.” This had two different effects on my sister and I: she imploded, folding in on herself, and I rebelled.

I said, I’m out of here, I am moving to New York City and “good-bye to all of you!” “I don’t deserve this!,” etc.

These days it is very common for people to be counseled to cut “toxic” people out of their lives for their own mental well-being. I see it every day on social media; It is celebrated to cancel your family.

It was not until I started training with my teachers in India that I understood the family we come from has everything to do with our own spiritual path. That we chose this family, our lessons, this life, before we arrived here. I was taught this, I was guided to see it in deep spiritual practices, and eventually, I was initiated to bring others along this path of realization.

I was forced to confront my family and our past, and our present with understanding, and forgiveness and to cultivate a deep sense of compassion and empathy by being present to reality. This does not mean the toxic behaviors lessened; in many cases they amplified for years at a time. However, the way that *I* was able to meet them in the moment, in groundedness instead of instantaneous reaction, changed.

We went through a lot of extremely dark moments as a family, that I would never wish on to anyone. When you see people you love struggling so much with pain, be it physical pain, addiction or mental health issues– we can guide ourselves to react to the truth of who they are and not how they are acting in the moment. This is extrememly challenging to do in the midst of an acute or activated detrimental behavior. And this is why we need to cultivate a spiritual and meditative practice, so we can allow that compassion and empathy to arise.

You cannot force empathy. One cannot fake empathy. You can feel it when someone else is faking. Empathy is the byproduct of being clean and clear in your own heart and with your own best intentions for all to shine in their highest essence in life.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

I have been organizing spiritual events since 2006. Then, I met my Indian teachers and spent 8 years going back and forth extensively to study. My work has taken on all sorts of iterations during this time, as I changed, the world changed, technology changed, the industry changed…. I ran a weekly meditation for a decade in Manhattan, have done retreats around the world, and dozens of in-person workshops and virtual courses and offerings.

In 2016 I launched DIVINE FEMME, a series of work around the rise of the feminine in the modern masculine paradigm. A subject that has since exploded and yet is still quite often misinterpreted as the masculine in high heels with softer words. I am passionate about honoring the rising of the feminine in all actions; in changing the way that we view and allow the feminine: not as feminists, trying to turn women into men, but as honoring and elevating our feminine to have as much value in the physical realm as the masculine.

I currently live in the Hamptons, New York, and am offering smaller in person events here and NYC and online sessions. In 2025 a new virtual program will be coming out, inviting people to ease into a 30-day meditation practice.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

I think when we first start off on a new path of discovery or healing or self-awareness, we have to immerse ourselves fully in it for a while. It needs to become a positive “obsession” in some respect. This is why so many recovery programs, for example, will start off as 30 days of inpatient care. We need a large download to propel us into momentum.

In this world of tiktok, so many of us are being (purposefully!) trained to have a short attention span, and so while it is tempting to scroll through social media for memes and put this under the umbrella of a spiritual practice, there is no other way to unravel our conditioning and limitations other than sitting and doing the work, in your own heart, with yourself.

No one has anything more than any other person has; there are no gurus. But there are those that have walked a path for some time– seek these people out, see who you resonate and stay loyal to their teaching, for a while at least. Read their books, go to the events, go to retreats.

The spiritual path to awakening is never only upwards, and it is always more jagged than you expect, but this arc is the same: first there is enthusiasm, there are several dark nights of the soul on the path, there is humility and then there is embodiment. And often, rinse and repeat.

One of our goals is to help like-minded folks with similar goals connect and so before we go we want to ask if you are looking to partner or collab with others – and if so, what would make the ideal collaborator or partner?

I’m always looking for people to collaborate with! Let’s create something together. I used to travel quite often to teach in other areas when requested. That was on hold for many years as I wanted to be present to my young son. Now that he is older, I feel more free to travel more.

I teach around the Divine Feminine, awakening, conscious parenting, meditation and mindfulness as well as custom ritual and ceremony. I may be reached at m@margaretnichols.com

Contact Info:

• Website: https://margaretnichols.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/magsnichols/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/magsnyc