Meet Kiki Sabater

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Kiki Sabater. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Kiki below.

Hi Kiki, appreciate you sitting with us today to share your wisdom with our readers. So, let’s start with resilience – where do you get your resilience from?

My family has a long history of struggle and strife that I believe truly informs my own personal resilience. My grandfather was taken from his home in Poland as a teenager and placed in a Nazi labor camp. He spent his time there secretly photographing the conditions of the camp and forging documents to help other prisoners escape. During a locker inspection, his camera was found and he was sent to Dachau concentration camp in Germany. From there, he was sent back to the labor camp after some time, and eventually, the camp was liberated and he made his way to America to start a new life. Once settled, he met my grandmother and they sponsored over 30 families during their lifetimes here in the U.S. Their daughter, my mother, now works as a legal guardian, helping people in need, extending the legacy of aid to those who need it the most.

My father’s family immigrated from Cuba during the Castro era and started in the U.S. from very humble beginnings. His extended family helped care for him and his sister while his parents worked to find their way to the U.S. and this familial support system remained close knit for years to come. My father went on to attend Princeton on scholarship and had a career in the arts in New York City before moving to Florida where he and my mother built a life together based on the foundation of hard work, determination, and resilience.

In my life, I have faced numerous personal struggles that have informed who I am today, but the strong ancestry that has afforded me my life as it is now always reminds me that no obstacle is too great to overcome. I draw deeply on my family’s history of resilience in times of difficulty. We are a strong and scrappy bunch, driven by our determination and unshakable work ethic. We lean on each other in times of need, but each of us carries this history of strength in our DNA. As you can tell from my writing, I’ve had struggles with my personal mental health and traumatic relationships, all of which during their experiences felt insurmountably difficult. But in drawing on my strong ancestral history, I know no obstacle is too great, no support system is too far away and have learned that anything is possible with enough grit, determination, and follow through. We are warriors!

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I’m Kiki Sabater, an author, creator, artist and musician living in Brooklyn, NY. I am the author of two books, countless essays and poems, as well as a former punk rocker. I have always had a strong personal artistic voice that is somewhat unstoppable, as evidenced by my first album, “Belly Up” from my grunge music era and my published writing. I’ve danced at Radio City Music Hall with Belle & Sebastian, performed half clothed as a performance artist in Brooklyn salons, and had a successful professional career as a multidisciplinary artist here in NYC.

My first book, “Set Me On Fire Before I Blow” was published in 2018 by Lit Riot Press in Brooklyn and achieved worldwide distribution and critical acclaim. My writing is focused on women’s issues, mental health, and self discovery. “Set Me on Fire Before I Blow” is an exploration into my mind portrayed in short prose, poetry and essays as collected from my journals from my early adulthood. It focuses on my journey through mental health diagnoses as I struggled with symptoms that would later be diagnosed as Bipolar Disorder as well as through a particularly rocky (think gasoline doused dumpster fire) relationship that shaped me during that time.

My writing, while cathartic for me, has been well received by its readers, often with the response of “I always felt this way but never knew how to put it into words”. While the extremes of my experience may not be relatable to all, the recurring themes of trying to find oneself and grappling with your identity have proven to be universal, moving and inspiring to others. This book was a huge leap of faith for Lit Riot Press as the publisher of its first artist’s journal series as it was for me to bear myself naked on its pages. The book is deeply personal, revealing, and raw, exposing me, my insecurities, dreams, and struggles on each page. The book is also photo heavy, featuring curated photos as art directed by me and shot by my fearless editor, Ben Taylor, to accompany the writing. While there is nudity in the book as a form of bearing myself into its pages (yes, there are boobs), I feel most naked in the writing content.

My favorite artist, Rita Lino once said, “Nudity is not nakedness. I keep hiding behind this body. I want to show you how I feel. I want to have a feeling in the first place, but my body keeps getting in the way”. Like most women, I have a complex relationship with my body. I’ve used my body before as a way of getting what I wanted, and I’ve also struggled with myself image. I spent my early adulthood struggling with Anorexia, and I’m not sure that stinking thinking ever goes away. It’s like an addiction—a battle you have to fight every day to take care of yourself and your body. That being said, I talk openly in the book about the objectification of my body by others, and for me it feels like a way of reclaiming my power. Not only over people who objectify women’s bodies but also over my mind. It does not mean the photos were meant to be sexualized. They are not designed to be erotic. There is no retouching. This is my body, this is me. I wanted to document the reality, the imperfection, and own it.

It’s important for me to share my experiences. I don’t want to forget, hide or be ashamed of a condition I have that results from a storm of bad luck and genetics. There are so many people suffering in their own ways, or the same ways, or any way at all and I don’t think suffering is something we should hide from as a society. Sometimes I wonder, what happened to being honest? What happened to being unafraid to be ugly, to be yourself and to be unashamed of the truth? This is my reality, and it is part of the story I had to tell in this book and in my writing going forward.

My second book, “Everything Is About to Change” as co authored with my close friend and incredible artist, Jamie Stehlin, is now being pitched to publishers by our incredible agent, Mindi St. Peter at BAM Management. This book has been in the works since 2020 and has been an absolute labor of love. Like the first book, we discuss themes of mental health, (now titled “Mind/Matter”) and relationships (“Love/Loss”), but focus a third of the book on self exploration and discovery (“Realizations”). This book is graphic design heavy and features personal candid photos from both of us to accompany the mixed media design of this book. While our lives and journeys may be different, there is so much crossover and shared experience between us. Jamie has been an incredible partner and huge source of inspiration for me. We got to work together during COVID when we were roommates in Brooklyn, pouring over our collected writings, paintings, collages and designs together to make something that was universal, moving, relatable, and bold. We are both pretty outspoken and fearless when it comes to self expression and I think it serves this project really well. We are open about our struggles and triumphs and totally candid about the very human, but at times, very unflattering behaviors and pasts that have shaped us. In short, we’re both batshit crazy but totally lovable and relatable narrators of a mostly universal story about finding yourself.

The back cover of the book reads, “Picture this: You wake up and take the pills, two yellow, one orange, you hold your breath waiting for a text back you’ll never get, you’re high on Saturday night and have never felt more alive, you’re back in bed for two months come Monday morning, you’re aching, you’re spinning out, you’re finding your truth, you’re wide awake, you’re dreaming, and baby, hold on tight because everything is about to change.” I think this perfectly sums up the experience of diving into our book, a choose your own adventure experience into our minds and deepest thoughts, highlighted by the colorful pages littered with photos and collage, text message screenshots, and Jamie’s incredible paintings. We are so excited to share this book with the world, knowing that the impact it can have on any reader will be moving and illuminating, aiding them in their journey of self exploration.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

1. Creativity. I’m never afraid to step out of my comfort zone to create. I’m not a visual artist by training, but I knew my writing needed to be accompanied by art to be commercially marketable so I immersed myself in photography, collage, and graphic design to do what I could to elevate my work. Jamie, my writing partner for my second book, has be immeasurably patient with me in teaching me how to manipulate my art in photoshop, and I’ve watched about a million YouTube tutorials on how to use InDesign. My former editor at Lit Riot Press, Ben Taylor, helped me execute my ideas for photoshoots for my first book and I’ve since adopted my mom’s 1970’s 35mm camera for future projects. I’m always piecing together photos and magazine cuttings for new collages and try to stay as open as possible creatively to achieve the outcome I’m looking for. If I can’t do something, I know who to call to help me figure it out and if I’m feeling too stubborn to call anyone for help, I’ll sit down and figure it out myself. Same goes for music, guitar was my second instrument and I really struggled with learning theory on guitar to make my music make sense. So I learned to play in open tuning, getting inventive with new sounds and voicings to create the songs that made up my first album and the new EP I’m currently working on. It’s hard to stop me once I have an idea, I always find a way to make it actualized.

2. Kindness. I have to be kind to myself as a rule. I have a tendency to be really self critical and judgmental which is the absolute antidote to creativity and self expression. I have this annoying feeling from time to time that I should have done more by now, or that I’m not doing enough, and this kind of thinking can put you in a freeze. I tend to forget how much my struggles have slowed me down and have to stay vigilant about being nice to myself. I have mantras printed that decorate my room that I make myself say every morning before I sit down to work at my desk. I tell myself that “I am loved”, “I love myself”, “I have everything I need to succeed”, etc. I have to remind myself constantly that I am enough, I am doing enough, and recall that I’ve had great success in my life already. Being a creator is such a strange way of life, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. You don’t always feel successful as an artist because you haven’t made the NY Times bestseller list yet, or you aren’t paying all of your bills via your art alone, but then I remind myself of how much I have accomplished, published and created, how brave I’ve been and how hard I’ve worked and give myself a big hug. I have to love myself and be kind to myself in order to keep creating and keep working at what makes me feel the most fulfilled and the most like me.

3. Perseverance. Though I’m stable a great percentage of the time thanks to modern medicine, because of my illness, I go through periods of intense creativity juxtaposed against periods where I really can’t create at all. I have to remind myself constantly, that everything changes, nothing stays the same, and draw on my inner strength to remind myself that I will return to myself again. My favorite word is “impermanence”, meaning nothing stays the same, not the good, not the bad. When times are difficult, I take it one day at a time, putting one foot in front of the other, knowing that as long as I keep moving, I’ll find my way back to myself. Sometimes, a day is successful when I’ve been able to put on my shoes, walk my dog and take a shower, other days, I feel accomplished only if I’ve submitted my newest essay to 50 reviews or journals for publication. Similarly, in selling your art and in being a creator, you go through periods of great success and great lulls. We’ve been working on our second book since 2020 and have just now gotten the ball rolling in getting it sold by our fabulous new agent at BAM. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and know that as long as I keep working, keep creating, and keep moving, things will happen the way they’re meant to.

Before we go, maybe you can tell us a bit about your parents and what you feel was the most impactful thing they did for you?

Fostered my love of the arts! I was in dance and piano classes from a young age and attended performing arts middle and high schools. They supported my continued interest in voice lessons, dance classes 5 days a week and theatre camp in NYC in the summers. My parents always encouraged my love of the theatre and hung walls of posters in my childhood home of every show they’d ever taken me to. They supported my attending conservatory for musical theatre after high school and were huge supporters of my first book though I imagine it must have been difficult for them to read. My experience isn’t totally unique, but having to experience it through the lens of your child’s suffering couldn’t have been easy. Regardless, they support my brand of self expression and are always inquiring about my current or next project. My dad is also a musician and actor and is always getting me to pick up my instruments to compose and play music. He’s helped me fix my guitars and we are always collaborating on music whenever we see each other. My mom has invested in my second book and is a huge supporter of whatever creative pursuit makes me happy; I wouldn’t be half the artist I am today without the support of my incredible parents. Beyond that, they lovingly have supported me throughout my life and struggles with mental health. They’ve always tried to understand, have always listened and have helped however they possibly could. They’ve loved me just as I am, and that, is perhaps, the greatest gift they could have given me. My mom and I are super close and I’m always able to talk to her about how I’m feeling and what I’m struggling with, which I know, is really special. She always wants to know how she can help and jumps in however she can to ease my journey. While there is so much stigma and shame that surrounds major mental health diagnoses, my parents and family overall have always made me feel like I wasn’t any different than they were and that I was always loved and supported. During a recent bad depressive episode where I could barely peel myself out of bed, my dad called me to tell me that he had “the utmost respect” for me. Which of course made me cry, but really reinforced the love and support I know they have for me. My parents see me as a fighter, and it makes me see myself that way too.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://kikisabater.com
• Instagram: @kikaleek