We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Meg Stafford a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Meg, so excited to talk about all sorts of important topics with you today. The first one we want to jump into is about being the only one in the room – for some that’s being the only person of color or the only non-native English speaker or the only non-MBA, etc Can you talk to us about how you have managed to be successful even when you were the only one in the room that looked like you?
It is a delicate balance between seeing oneself as part of the crowd, and seeing oneself as unique. I grew up with several of my mother’s friends’ kids, who happened to be boys. I was the younger of two sisters, so there were not boys in my immediate family, but because I spent so much time with these “brothers,” I was very comfortable with them. We played sports, we played board games, spent time with animals, all things I still enjoy. It truly gave me the sense that I was accepted for who I was and that gender did not matter at all. When I was a teen, I looked older than I was, and was often in situations where people thought I was older and treated me that way. It felt like a privilege to be included in some conversations or situations that I may not have had access to, and I loved that.
Now I’m at the other end of the spectrum. I’m often the oldest person in the room (in Zumba, or my adult glee club, or Orange Theory) often by 15 or 20 years or more. I sometimes get self conscious about it, and have to remind myself that it is what feels right to me that is important. As long as we are listening to ourselves, and what feels most salient, then we are following our hearts. How we look or appear is much less important; it is what’s inside that drives what other people will pick up and respond to.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I am fortunate that I love doing more than one thing. I am still committed to my psychotherapy practice, while continuing to develop my writing presence and skills. I’m jazzed about my (award winning) books, the latest one being Who Will Accompany You? My Mother-Daughter Journeys Far From Home and Close to the Heart. I have also been writing reviews for Arts events: concerts and sculpture openings, and have found that this is a particular sweet spot for me. One person responded that he felt like he missed something great; that he could put himself there and was sorry that he had missed it. I’m hoping to do more of this. I have found that people really enjoy having events documented in a way that provides a different perspective, and deep appreciation for what they have created.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
It is a powerful tool to know oneself well, and be aware of one’s strengths and challenges. That way, it is possible to leverage what you’re good at, and seek assistance for what is more challenging, rather than spending time and energy on the things that are draining. From the beginning, I had someone else do my billing for my psychotherapy practice. I didn’t want to spend the time it took to do this, learn it, and was more than happy to pay for this service, freeing me up to be with my children when I wasn’t at work.
As a writer, It was vital to seek the help of editors. No matter how skilled a writer someone is, there is no replacement for another set of eyes on someone’s work. Working with my editor became a joy and a source of learning that elevated my writing beyond where I could go on my own. So, for sure looking for people who have expertise in your field, and putting yourself in a position to learn from them are really key. Getting the support you need is not only helpful, but essential.
Remaining curious, and seeing the new in everything as much as possible means that my perspective stays fresh and off beat. I love to see the humor in situations, the new, the unexpected, and I try to go into any experience with as few expectations as possible, thereby leaving me open to what it is to come.
Before we go, maybe you can tell us a bit about your parents and what you feel was the most impactful thing they did for you?
There are always messages we receive from our parents. Some are intentional and outright: expectations around school, religious education, manners, etc. Some we absorb from living with them. How do they treat other people? What is their own work ethic? Do they value time? money? material wealth? One of the notions of living that my father explicitly encouraged was to work hard, but to always have balance, and make time for having fun. I really took this to heart, and it shaped the way I made many decisions, and still does. I did work hard at school, but I also made time to be with friends, and do the things I enjoy. This has meant that sometimes it takes a little longer to do something, because I am not focussing solely on that one thing. It means that I give my decisions a lot of thought, and that’s a good thing because I always feel clear and without regrets once I choose an option. This lifeskill of finely tuning in to what’s important has been invaluable, and I continue to practice it to this day!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.MegStafford.com
- Instagram: @megstafford2183
- Facebook: https://Facebook.com/meg.stafford.73
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meg-stafford-5568b714
Image Credits
Headshot by One27 Photography
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