Meet Lizzie Sider

We recently connected with Lizzie Sider and have shared our conversation below.

Lizzie, we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?

When I reflect on my personal journey of building and strengthening my resiliency muscles, a couple of very specific seasons of my life come to mind.

First, when I was a child, I was bullied by other girls at my school. After years of coming home in tears and feeling emotionally defeated and powerless against them, I finally realized that, at the end of the day, “nobody had the power to ruin my day.” But it was more than that… No one but me had the power to decide how I was going to feel about myself, or how much I valued or loved myself. If I couldn’t control what others said, to me or about me, then I could control how I reacted to those things, or if I chose to react at all. I realized that I was the only gatekeeper to my own confidence, self-love, and self-esteem. And just like that, I could no longer fall prey to external judgements or attempts to defeat me or bring me down, without my express permission. When I stopped reacting, and when I stopped internalizing the things that those girls said to me, the bullying stopped. The complete acceptance and application of this mentality in my day-to-day became a sacred practice in my life, and it put the power back into my hands. And ever since then, I have understood that the power doesn’t leave my hands. I believe that’s where true resiliency starts. That’s where it started for me.

Second, in 2018, I was in a car accident. Another driver crashed into me, and there was nothing I could have done to stop it. My car was totaled, and I sustained multiple injuries, one of which was a traumatic brain injury (TBI). Though I didn’t realize the full extent of it at first, over time, the injury became very complicated and complex to navigate. I had every classic TBI symptom in the book, amplified in such a way that nearly everything I did caused me debilitating pain or confusion. I even had to put my creative career on pause, because I was unable to sing, dance, write, create, or have command of a clear mind, to say the least. I couldn’t get a clear answer from my doctors when (or if) I might make a full recovery, or whether or not I would ever be the same again. There were days where I would look at myself in the mirror and just cry… because I felt like I saw a person who was a shell of themselves. I so missed myself and I wanted her back. I didn’t want to let go of the person I was. I loved her. I felt lost, and sometimes, it was so hard to see that light at the end of the tunnel.

However, throughout my entire five-year-long recovery, and through my uncertainty of what the future might hold for me… I made a decision, that I was going to win out. No matter what this injury and its recovery would try to do to break me, I would not let it. No THING had the power to ruin my day. No THING had the power to defeat me. I was stronger. I loved myself more than to ever let that happen. Just as I protected that little girl, I needed to protect myself now. And I did. I fought as hard as I could, and I was stubborn with my optimism and my hope, and eventually, I won. I achieved a full recovery. I am able to choose what kind of life I want to live without boundaries or limitations. And I was able to do so, because I never gave up the belief that I could get there. I never gave up the belief that there was light on the other side.

To me, resiliency is believing in yourself and loving yourself so much, that even when you don’t know what the future holds, you never give up on yourself, and you never give up on the belief that a brighter day is ahead. And, what we learn from the process, and who we become during that process, becomes an invaluable piece of us.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I am a singer, songwriter, speaker, and Founder/CEO of Nobody Has The Power To Ruin Your Day, a non-profit organization for youth empowerment!

I first began my professional creative career as a singer/songwriter in the country music world, and I was fortunate to have two of my songs become Top 40 singles on the country charts – “Butterfly” and “I Love You That Much.” “Butterfly” is a song I wrote about being bullied and overcoming it, but it’s really an anthem to anyone who’s ever felt alone or hid inside of themselves, and a reminder that we don’t need to hide who we are, but rather, embrace ourselves fully, and with everything we have. We are all strong, beautiful, and unique, and when we lean into that, we are able to soar, and reach new heights, just like a butterfly.

“Butterfly” inspired me to start my organization, Nobody Has The Power To Ruin Your Day, and it has been my most rewarding venture yet. I have traveled to over 500 schools around the country, speaking and singing to children about my story and also about empowerment, self-confidence, resiliency, kindness, and bullying. Through my digital anti-bullying and empowerment program I created, I’ve been able to reach millions of students all around the world. Now that I am fully healed from my brain injury, I am back to performing live in schools and for other audiences, and I feel so lucky to be able to do so!

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

1- Adaptability and Acceptance. Life throws curveballs, left and right, and many times, with no warning. Sometimes these curveballs are small, sometimes they’re much bigger. If we spend time and energy wishing things were different, or resenting how the cards were dealt to us, we waste valuable resources on something we have no control over. I’ve found that training yourself and allowing yourself to be adaptable — that is, in a sense, entertaining the idea that life is happening for you, not to you, so you might as well go with it — helps life be more fun, free flowing, and meaningful. It’s also way less stressful. Resistance only creates blockages.

2- A trust and a knowing that everything is going to be okay. This is something that has always come naturally to me. No matter what we are facing, no matter how unsure the outcome may seem… it will work out how it’s meant to. I know that if I look back at my life, and revisit everything that has happened to me, and how things have played out, I can see how it has worked out in my favor. My life has happened “for” me. Even the experiences or outcomes I wouldn’t have chosen for myself, have been for a reason. Also, you’ve always been okay because you’ve always made it okay. If that’s how things have always worked out before, then why should things be any different now? This is a very powerful realization that gives me peace, whenever I am unsure about something.

3- Respect, Respect, Respect. Respect for ourselves, for our elders, for the earth, for different traditions, for everyone that has come before you to allow you to be here today, and respect for others. We are only one piece to a greater story. Having humility, knowing there are so many things we do not know, and understanding that there is always something new to learn, are all forms of respect.

Thanks so much for sharing all these insights with us today. Before we go, is there a book that’s played in important role in your development?

This is a tough one, because there are many… “The Book of Joy,” “Big Magic,” “The Hidden Messages in Water,” to name a few. However, here, I’d like to highlight the book that I’ve been reading lately:

“The Creative Act: A Way of Being”
by Rick Rubin

It’s really resonating with me right now, as I rebuild my creative career, coming out of my brain injury recovery. The book is a treasure trove of wisdom relating to creativity, an artist’s purpose and pursuit, how to create freely and without rules (external and self-imposed), how to bring forth the most genuine art from within yourself… I have found it quite liberating, and it has helped me give myself permission to be a freer and more fluid creator.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the book:

“Beginner’s mind is starting from a pure childlike place of not knowing. Living in the moment with as few fixed beliefs as possible. Seeing things for what they are as presented. Tuning in to what enlivens us in the moment instead of what we think will work. And making our decisions accordingly. Any preconceived ideas and accepted conventions limit what’s possible.” – Rick Rubin

“Our work embodies a higher purpose. Whether we know it or not, we’re a conduit for the universe. Material is allowed through us.” – Rick Rubin

“When we sit down to work, remember that the outcome is out of our control… It’s a matter of experimental faith… We are required to believe in something that doesn’t exist in order to allow it to come into being.” – Rick Rubin

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.lizziesider.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lizziesider/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/lizziesider
• Other: https://www.nobodyhasthepowertoruinyourday.org

Image Credits

Feature image (black and white top w/ writing) – Pepperfox Photo

Image w/ yellow top – Pepperfox Photo

Image w/ Lizzie hugging kids – Miranda Suess

Image w/ Lizzie laughing (navy shirt) – Claudia Gomez

Image w/ Lizzie laughing (white shirt, seated in chair) – Pepperfox Photo

Image w/ Lizzie & kids raising their hands – Miranda Suess