We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Ritu Pasrija a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Ritu , thank you for being such a positive, uplifting person. We’ve noticed that so many of the successful folks we’ve had the good fortune of connecting with have high levels of optimism and so we’d love to hear about your optimism and where you think it comes from.
Optimism resides within each of us at varying levels. For some, it is dormant; for others, it is prevalent. For me, I had a mix—parts of me were very optimistic, and other parts were not. Yet, optimism always lurked. I remember college discussions on women’s rights, which ignited passion. I felt we could change the world.
My family saw me as strong-willed. True, yet nuanced. I had inklings (though I didn’t fully grasp it then) that the need to belong sometimes trumped my convictions. I was sorting through cultural beliefs, expectations, and other influences that pulled me away from my true self. I built a wall—perceived as strength by my family. In reality, it was 60–70% passion and 30–40% protection—a shield for belonging. There were pieces of me in conflict.
In my naiveté, I saw injustice and championed victims, believing I was doing the right thing. Yikes! Subtly, I was also blaming those who didn’t stand up. It came off as holier-than-thou—even though, in the moment, I felt justified. So, when I saw children die or be raped, I questioned, How could God allow this? I was angry. Looking back, I see I was reacting from ego.
These realizations became etched in me through my search for deeper meaning. Life, if we allow it, is our greatest teacher. Discovering myself was like putting together a puzzle—examining shapes, colors, and edges, trying to find patterns, adjusting until the whole picture came into view. The first piece: the yearning for core understanding beyond intellectual grasp.
Raised in a spiritual household, religion and prayer were important, but kindness and truthfulness were daily practices. My parents were naturally optimistic, and much of that shaped me. Yet, a major piece of my puzzle remained—challenging foundational beliefs coupled with awareness—the willingness to see beyond my programming.
I was doing what was expected—working a “good” job, being a productive member of society, being kind. On the surface, I had everything, yet was I truly happy? I had so much, yet was I truly happy? Go to work, come home, relax/spend time with friends—rinse and repeat. That wasn’t living! Though optimistic, when I peeled back the layers, I saw parts of me operating from a half-empty mindset. Another realization: true reflection, with openness and kindness, is the key to self-discovery. Much of what I believed about success and happiness wasn’t actually mine—it was society’s in one way or another. I had adopted these definitions without questioning them. Was I truly free? No.
I always believed answers reside within. Quiet the mind, hear the soul. So, I set out to discover myself—Who am I? Why am I here? What is my purpose? Personal development became my path—through reflection, meditation, questioning, learning from people, and embracing life experiences. This brought more peace and harmony within me. Understanding the Universal Laws brought deep solace.
I finally prioritized what made me happy—because my happiness matters! And whenever I spiraled into negativity, I caught myself. I used affirmations as a tool to become stronger than my mind. The more I internalized these laws, the more I saw the Universe not as my adversary but as my greatest support! This shift changed everything.
Deeper self-understanding allowed me to embrace a profound optimism. It wasn’t easy—self-doubt still whispered. Yet, my focus on core truth kept me grounded. I surrendered to the process, choosing progress over perfection. This journey led me to my life’s purpose—empowering families (children and parents) with tools to navigate life with greater ease and happiness. But that is another story for another time.
By listening to my soul’s call, I embarked on a transformation—not just toward optimism but toward something deeper: knowing, loving, and accepting myself. The puzzle pieces—awareness, courage, open-mindedness, and self-exploration—all led me to a profound sense of self. To truly belong is to know and love yourself.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
My journey has shaped my passion and profession—I am dedicated to helping children, parents, educators, and future parents build a strong foundation for a happier, healthier, and more connected life. I believe our core is love, and I approach my work with curiosity, playfulness, and an unwavering belief in human potential.
I coach children (ages 3.5 to 15) in developing a strong sense of self through emotional intelligence, neuroscience, growth mindset, and character development. It fill my soul – and the children amaze me with their wisdom!! Naturally, this work extends to coaching parents, as their growth directly impacts their children’s success. In about two months, I will be a certified coach, further deepening my ability to guide families toward lasting transformation.
I also train educators, amplifying my impact by equipping them with the tools to support students more effectively. Additionally, I created Connection from Conception, a program empowering expectant parents to nurture the parent-baby bond from the very beginning. This foundation is rooted in H.O.P.E.—Highest Optimal and Potential Environment—helping babies thrive by guiding parents through the 4 B’s: Breathing, Bonding, Balancing, and Blossoming.
I measure my success by my clients’ growth and transformation. Life can be intense and hard, and I don’t want children to experience the same challenges—yet I believe in empowering them to navigate life with confidence, ease and joy. My goal is to create a world where every child grows up secure, engaged, and ready to thrive. I am excited about my upcoming classes for parents!!
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
I believe that developing a strong sense of self is vital. For me, the three qualities for this were: 1) Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence, 2) Growth Mindset with Curiosity and Compassion, and 3) Change & Courage.
Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence
Personal growth is a lifelong journey, and for me, it began with understanding myself—my emotions, reactions, and patterns. This self-awareness became the foundation of my transformation. Emotional intelligence helped me recognize when I was operating from ego, fear, or societal conditioning. It allowed me to build resilience, navigate relationships more easily, and make choices that were aligned with my true self. Only the truth will set you free. Be honest with yourself about your emotions. Give yourself grace—this is hard to really look at yourself in the mirror. Reflect on your reactions and patterns to uncover deeper insights into your behavior. Sometimes classes are a great source for guidance. A tip: do some gratitude journaling and have fun with it—it is a connector, and it nurtures emotional intelligence within you!!
Growth Mindset & Curiosity with Compassion
Once I began to understand myself better, I was able to cultivate a growth mindset—approaching challenges with curiosity and compassion instead of fear or judgment. Here, Mother Teresa’s quote applies: “If you judge people, you have no time to love them,” which highlights the importance of compassion! I learned to approach myself and others with curiosity that’s free of judgment. This means questioning beliefs, unlearning old patterns, and embracing new perspectives without criticizing or being hard on myself. Instead of seeing struggles as failures, I now view them as stepping stones toward deeper understanding and transformation. This compassionate curiosity allows me to approach every challenge with grace and a genuine desire to learn and grow. Changing my mindset allowed me to view challenges not as obstacles, but as opportunities for growth, which opened up new possibilities. Be patient, persistent, and join a community to support you through the process!!
A strong community has been a vital part of my transformation. It’s through shared wisdom, support, and encouragement that we become stronger. Finding people who believe in your journey can provide not just motivation, but also the strength to continue when things get tough.
Change & Courage
As curiosity helps us grow, change is the natural next step, and with change comes the need for courage. Courage is required—whether it’s breaking free from societal expectations, setting boundaries, or choosing a new path. Reflection alone isn’t enough; transformation requires aligned action. Start by taking small actions that align with your values, even if you’re uncertain. This simple action will create momentum and help you step out of your comfort zone, paving the way for bigger transformation. An example would be spending a few minutes when you wake up choosing how you intend to experience your day and reflecting on it in the evening! Trust the process—and aligning to our values makes it easier to make the change!
Though it can be tough, change is inevitable. To achieve a different outcome, something must shift. Whether it’s a belief, habit, or action, change requires a shift in at least one area, and it can feel overwhelming. Yet sometimes, creating a sense of emotional distance—viewing the situation from an outsider’s perspective—can provide a sense of safety. One technique I use is to imagine the situation from a friend’s perspective. This helps me see the bigger picture and make decisions that are aligned with my true self, without being overwhelmed by emotions. By mentally walking through various scenarios, you can begin to feel more comfortable with the idea of change, gradually building a sense of security as you explore the options available to you. And remember, you are capable—believe in you!
Conclusion
Stepping into my purpose wasn’t easy, but embracing change led to a profound transformation. This courage has created ripple effects, impacting not only my life but the lives of others. Though we come into and leave this world alone, the connections we make along the way shape our journey. Surround yourself with people who support and inspire you. Having a community can help you stay grounded and motivated. It’s through shared experiences and learning from others that we grow stronger.
So I ask you: do you believe in yourself? The power to change is within you. Will you take the first step today? I believe in you…
Who is your ideal client or what sort of characteristics would make someone an ideal client for you?
My ideal client would be someone who is looking for change, wanting more out of life and be open to a holistic approach – mind body and soul!
They are wanting it deeply and ready to take action – I am here to guide them.
They would be willing to do the work and realize I can guide them and yet they will need to take the steps to have change – like you can take a horse to the water but you can not make it drink.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pasrija.r
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ritu.pasrija/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ritu-pasrija
Image Credits
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