We recently connected with Steoh Neale and have shared our conversation below.
Steoh , we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?
I started comedy at 23, and I had what you would call a “quiet confidence” which I often confused for none at all. I didn’t always feel funny. I would talk to people in my life who were shocked I was trying stand up comedy (maybe I wasn’t loud enough?!) and I always took those comments to heart at the beginning. Turns out…. you don’t even have to be funny!!! It took me a long time to realize that what most performers lack is perspective.
I didn’t fall in love with standup immediately. I struggled with my identity as a performer and feeling comfortable on stage. This resulted in a long stretch of time where I was lost and I didn’t give it my all. During this time, I lived outside of just the “comedy world”. I dated a lot, I made a ton of friends, I went clubbing, I travelled, I developed many hobbies, and did I mention I went clubbing?!
Now, at 33 I feel more confident than ever- especially on stage. Through the last decade I unknowingly played the long game in comedy. I have finally put in the practise and arrived at a place where I have a unique style. I have honed a craft. My self esteem feels earned.
A couple of years ago I would say that I had regrets about not falling head first into comedy right when I started. I would beat myself up for not having the wherewithal to have pursued the goals I have now, back then. But honestly, I learned so much about myself during that time, which has truthfully led to some good material. I am finally in a very grounded place where I have a solid sense of self as a performer. Perspective is so important. If I could give one piece of advice to developing confidence- go clubbing more!
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
I think being authentic is the most important thing when pursuing anything creative. The thing about stand up is you have highs and lows. I think it’s always important to feel those! When you have a win, celebrate, brag about it! Be annoying!! When things aren’t going your way, I think it’s healthy to stay grounded, feel humbled. It’s easy to clock when someone desperately needs validation or their ego rubbed, and I try to stay away from that as much as I can.
As much as I preach not being fake, being respectful and kind never hurts and I think has helped to get me to where I am today. You still can stand up for yourself, speak your mind, and not be an asshole. It’s great!
Taking yourself seriously is a skill that took me a while to wrap my head around pursuing comedy. I used to be like “its a joke! I’m a comedian!”. When, in reality… it is a job. A job that comes with all the necessary qualities and skills that other jobs have. Punctuality, work ethic, persistence, networking, adaptability… the list goes on.
Alright, so before we go we want to ask you to take a moment to reflect and share what you think you would do if you somehow knew you only had a decade of life left?
Having an online following is crucial these days. My current goal is to tour more, and having a strong social media presence helps make that way easier as well as much more lucrative down the road.
Something about me is that I don’t have basic computer skills. I think I’m worse than all of your grandparents. My partner jokes that for my birthday he is going to get me computer lessons, or drop me off at computer camp. It’s not only jeopardizing my career but a point of contention in my relationship!!!! I couldn’t tell you the amount of sets that I have filmed with my iPhone to find out later that I didn’t have the sound on, my camera was blocked, I couldn’t edit the spot I wanted cleanly, I have the wrong lighting, etc. But I’m working on it!!! I have some patient friends in the business that are helping me, I have been spending a few days a week looking up the best programs and tips and tools.
I don’t like that stand up has become an online experience for so many people. But, I cant control that. So in order to be able to perform in more places, I gotta commit. Get ready for all my crowd work material on your FYP.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: @stephabbyneale
- Facebook: Stephanie Neale
- Twitter: @stephbabyneale
- Youtube: Stephanie Neale
- SoundCloud: Steph Neale
- Other: Tiktok @steph_baby_neale
Image Credits
Pheobe Ludwig
