Meet Ayanna Bates

We were lucky to catch up with Ayanna Bates recently and have shared our conversation below.

Ayanna, we are so deeply grateful to you for opening up about your journey with mental health in the hops that it can help someone who might be going through something similar. Can you talk to us about your mental health journey and how you overcame or persisted despite any issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.

My mental health journey has led to healing, community, and a renewed sense of purpose. There were moments in my life where I did not think my being here mattered or that I was ever good enough. Oftentimes we see mental illness or needing support as a weakness. I would say that my asking for help was one of the bravest things I have ever done. Advocating for your needs and setting healthy limits are meaningful ways to build resilience.

Ever since I was 12 years old, I knew what I wanted to be when I got older, a therapist. Before that it was a journalist, a ballet dancer, a teacher, but I eventually came to the conclusion that I would be much happier as a therapist. I wanted to help people. At 12 years old I was the friend people went to for validation, I was the sister who often mediated disagreements between siblings, I was the kid who was deeply aware of other people’s emotions. I felt this huge responsibility to be there for other people, I guess it was because I often needed someone to be there for me, and I did not have that support. I had always been an anxious kid, but that anxiety gradually turned into a sadness I could not really place and by my senior year of high school, I was struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts, and an eating disorder. During this time I felt alone, confused, and desperate for someone to understand what I was going through.

When I first began seeing a therapist, I was scared. I did not trust her with my emotions, my thoughts, and I did not want to give up my eating disorder. In the moment, engaging in restrictive eating was my way of coping with painful emotions I was not ready to face. However, I knew if I kept going the way that I did, that my health would be in jeopardy. One day, I entered my therapist’s office for what felt like the 20th time. I sat down on the blue couch that always seemed to swallow me whole, she pushed the tissue box my way which I always chuckled at because I knew I would not need them. Then she said to me, “you’re stronger than what you give yourself credit for, everyday that you decide to wake up and walk out that door, you are choosing yourself.” I began to chuckle once more, because there I was, reaching frantically for the tissues. I felt validated, I felt heard, and for the first time in a while, I was deeply aware of how I was feeling and what I wanted.

I was inspired to become a therapist because of my lived experience navigating mental health struggles. I earned my bachelors in Psychology and then pursued a career in social work. Along the way I volunteered with nonprofits dedicated to helping folks access mental health resources and treatment. I helped younger kids navigate the grief of losing a family member. I facilitated group therapy sessions with young adults who felt alone and hopeless. I used my lived experience to provide empathy and support to people who were missing that in their lives. Today, I am a Licensed Social Worker, specializing in therapy that addresses suicidality, eating disorders, depression, and anxiety. I think 12 year old me would be really excited to see all that adult me has accomplished; despite the sadness, the uncertainty, and the worry, I overcame those challenges and used my experiences to help others. Asking for help is the first step towards building a life that is meaningful, purposeful, and is a sign of great strength.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

I am a Licensed Social Worker, providing therapy to folks healing from an eating disorder, depression, suicidality, anxiety, and trauma. I am also a Peer Advocate, supporting folks who are recovering from an eating disorder. I am passionate about using my lived experience with mental illness to help others on their healing journey. During my free time, I volunteer with Project HEAL and the National Alliance on Mental Illness, both organizations dedicated to helping people get access to mental health treatment and resources. I love engaging in advocacy work and connecting with my community members to help make mental health support more accessible and equitable.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

Three qualities most impactful in my journey are resilience, determination, and empathy. Developing these qualities can be achieved through seeking clarity on your life worth living goals, feeling afraid and doing it anyway, and being willing to practice flexibility with others.

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?

When I feel overwhelmed I take a step back and check in with my support system. It is okay to let people know when you are feeling anxious or burned out. I also connect to the things I care about, whether it is art, music, visiting friends, or reading a good book, doing things we care about can help you care about yourself.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ayannabhealing/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ayanna-bates/