Meet Jane Epstein

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Jane Epstein a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Jane, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?

I didn’t set out to find my purpose—it found me. For most of my life, I carried the weight of my past, believing that what I had endured was something I just had to survive and move on from. But the more I healed, the more I realized that we needed to raise awareness because too many survivors and families were living in silence.

My purpose emerged from my own lived experience as a survivor of sibling sexual abuse, something rarely talked about but thought to be the most common form of sexual abuse happening in our homes. For years, I thought I was alone. When I started sharing my story—first in small ways, then through my TEDx talk, my memoir, and cofounding 5WAVES—I saw just how many people had suffered in silence, just like I had.

It became clear that my purpose wasn’t just about healing myself. It was about giving a voice to those who had been silenced, creating a community where survivors could feel seen and believed, and pushing for societal change. The moment I fully stepped into this work, everything in my life made sense—the pain, the resilience, the fight. My purpose isn’t just a passion. It’s a responsibility and one I am honored to carry.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I am a writer, speaker, and advocate working to bring sibling sexual abuse and trauma out of the shadows. I focus on education, awareness, and support—especially for survivors who have been dismissed, disbelieved, or left without resources. My memoir, I Feel Real Guilty, is a profoundly personal account of my own experience with sibling sexual abuse, grief, resilience, and healing. But beyond my personal story, I am dedicated to a more significant movement.

I cofounded 5WAVES.org, a nonprofit organization committed to raising awareness, providing support, and advocating for change when it comes to sibling sexual abuse—a form of trauma that remains one of the last taboos in conversations. Through 5WAVES, we’re reaching survivors, parents, educators, and professionals, ensuring this issue is no longer ignored.

Seeing survivors connect—many for the first time- makes this work so powerful. Sibling sexual abuse is often dismissed as “normal” or “just sibling rivalry,” but for those who have lived it, the damage is real and lasting. Through my work, survivors finally feel validated, parents recognize the warning signs, and professionals take this issue seriously. Each of these moments is a step toward real change.

One of the most exciting developments is that 5WAVES is collaborating with Thriving Survivors in Scotland, led by Ashley Scotland, to bring the first-ever sibling sexual abuse (SSA) conference to the United States in 2026. The first conference was held in Glasgow in 2024, and bringing this to the U.S. is a huge step forward in ensuring this issue is recognized on a larger scale.

In addition, my TEDx talk, Giving Voice to Sibling Sexual Abuse, continues to gain traction, my memoir is now out in the world, and the cofounders of 5WAVES are working on expanding our reach through our support site, siblingsexualtrauma.com, new survivor support initiatives—including private online communities where survivors can safely connect, and continuing to offer our lived experience and work closely with researchers and practitioners.

At the heart of everything I do is to make sure no survivor feels alone in their experience, to educate parents so they can protect their children, and to push for systemic change in how we talk about and respond to sibling sexual abuse and trauma. It is a movement that is growing every day.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Looking back, three qualities have been essential in my journey as a survivor and an advocate: resilience, the ability to tell my story, and the willingness to challenge the status quo.

Resilience isn’t about never breaking down but learning how to rebuild. My journey has had moments of deep self-doubt, grief, and fear, but I kept moving forward, even when it felt impossible. For anyone early in their journey, I’d say you don’t have to have it all figured out today. Just take the next step. Surround yourself with people who lift you, and remember that healing and advocacy are not linear.

I never imagined sharing my story would become such a powerful tool for healing and helping others find their voices. Whether it was writing my memoir, stepping onto a TEDx stage, or having one-on-one conversations with survivors, I learned that we are all connected by our stories. So often, we feel alone, like we are the only ones going through something, but in sharing our stories, we see each other in our stories and realize we are not alone.

For those early in their journey: Start small. Write in a journal, share with a trusted friend, or even record voice notes just for yourself. The more you practice telling your truth, the more you’ll see its impact.

Sibling sexual abuse remains one of the least talked-about forms of sexual abuse. Time and again, I was told my message was “too much” or that I should focus on something more comfortable. But I knew this work mattered. I’d still be waiting if I had waited for the world to be ready for this conversation.

Stay the course if you’re passionate about something that challenges the norm. Pushback is inevitable, but don’t let it silence you. Find your community—people who understand your mission—and lean on them. The most challenging conversations are often the ones that spark real change.

No one ever feels entirely “ready” when stepping into something new—whether it’s advocacy, writing, speaking, or healing from trauma. Permit yourself to grow. Your voice, story, and experiences matter more than you may realize.

One of our goals is to help like-minded folks with similar goals connect and so before we go we want to ask if you are looking to partner or collab with others – and if so, what would make the ideal collaborator or partner?

Yes! 5WAVES is actively looking for partners and collaborators who can help us bring more awareness, research, and resources to sibling sexual abuse and trauma. As a nonprofit, we aim to educate, advocate, and provide support for survivors and families, but we can’t do it alone.
We are especially looking for:

Researchers & Practitioners – We need more data, clinical studies, and professionals who recognize and address sibling sexual abuse. We’d love to collaborate with you if you are a researcher, therapist, or clinician interested in studying or working with this issue.

Media & Journalists – Sibling sexual abuse remains one of the least discussed forms of sexual abuse. We need journalists, documentary filmmakers, podcast hosts, and media professionals to bring this conversation to the public.

Survivors & Advocates – We believe survivors’ voices are essential in changing the narrative. If you are a survivor who wants to share your story, help with outreach, or connect with others in this space, we welcome you.

Nonprofits & Organizations – We are always open to working with like-minded organizations focusing on child protection, trauma recovery, family violence, and mental health.

If you’re reading this and want to collaborate, reach out through 5waves.org or connect with us on social media. Together, we can break the silence around sibling sexual abuse and create lasting change.

Contact Info:

Image Credits

Caron Shahrestani is the photographer for my headshot, the one I am in pink, as well as the picture with my book.

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