Meet Ksenia Muench

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Ksenia Muench a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Ksenia, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?

Figuring out my purpose feels like a long journey. As I was growing up I found my passions and callings were shut down by my mother who had a clear vision of who she wanted me to be. The problem with that – it was based on her beliefs of the woman I should be when I grow up rather than who I truly was and what my strengths were. I didn’t fit in the box of feminine standards at that time – I was outspoken, driven, stubborn, competitive, ambitious and enjoyed doing physical activities. Her efforts were focused on making me an aristocratic Russian woman of the 19th century who plays the piano, sings, speaks multiple languages, and appreciates arts and literature.
Being torn between the pressure from the parent and my own aspirations, I eventually moved half the way across the world to figure out my life without any external influences. After I immigrated to America, I got married, had 2 sons and to be honest was completely lost as to who I was and what my purpose was. I was a mom and a wife but what else…
It wasn’t until I filed for divorce 16 years later and spent some time navigating this process, I realized not only what I am supposed to do but also what I WANT to do: I want to be the sounding board for people going through divorce, be their strategic partner, be their friend who supports them through this mess and who lets them know they are not alone and it will all going to be better than OK. My own divorce experience inspired me to be there for my clients who are facing these challenges.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

Main focus of my business is coaching my clients through their divorce. I specialize in high-conflict situations which is basically a fancy term for a lengthy nasty litigation of the custodial arrangement and/or asset split. I know all divorces are emotional and taxing. But when you have to go in front of a judge to just get what you are entitled to by law and fight for it, it takes a divorce to a whole new level.
The best way to explain my role and how I help my clients is through the personal training analogy: can you go through this process on your own and get the results you want? Most likely yes. But not without failing, getting frustrated with being stuck, trying to figure out how to fix it and sometimes even giving up.
Now let’s imagine you hire a personal trainer. What happens next? Your trainer builds a program designed specifically for you: you now have a series of exercises that are laser-focused on your goals and a partner who is with you throughout this entire journey.
That’s me for divorce – I am your strategic partner who helps you navigate this maze, your emotional support when you feel overwhelmed and more importantly your biggest cheerleader who wants to see you happy and thrive.
As I keep working with my clients and having gone through my own experience, I realize that divorce is just a speed bump before your new beautiful adventure begins. The question is: what do you want your future to look like?
When people work with me, they get to thrive again.

Guiding my clients through divorce is just one part of my business. I have a few things in the works that will be launching soon. For most current updates, please follow me on Instagram @thriveagaindivorcecoaching where it will be announced. I am very excited about the next chapter.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

I know you want to hear three but I have two that got me to where I am – resilience and determination.

Resilience is something we must have in order to succeed. One of my dear friends recently told me “the success will come from understanding the failure will come first”. It is incredibly difficult to start something new – the energy it takes, the speed bumps and pitfalls we experience along the way. Keep getting up, adjust your vision and continue to pursue your dream – this is what will allow you to succeed in the end.

Determination (or f*ing determination as another friend of mine pointed out as I tend to use colorful language) is believing in yourself, in what you do and that it does make this world a better place because of what you bring to the table. It is about not allowing anybody put seeds of doubts in your head and interfere with your path. Believe in your purpose, be fierce, be humble and flexible, surround yourself with people who are your cheerleaders and pursue your dream.

Tell us what your ideal client would be like?

My ideal client is somebody who is going through any stage of divorce: considering it, or in the middle of it and feeling stuck or even after the divorce decree has been finalized and still feeling lost. Maybe the settlement is being renegotiated, maybe you need some guidance on how to co-parent when a new partner enters the picture, maybe you feel your kids are being alienated, etc. What a lot of people don’t realize the divorce starts long before it is filed and doesn’t stop after it’s finalized as it usually takes a few years for dust to truly settle.
I work with both men and women. The most important characteristic of my client is they are done with the past and want to move on with their lives meaning they are not trying to punish their soon-to-be former spouse, prolong the litigation, use children as weapons against the other parent, or simply be petty and fight just for the sake of fighting. My client is somebody who accepts it did not work out and focuses on untangling the financial family matters with a clear head because the ultimate goal is to finalize as quickly and as emotionally/financially painlessly as possible.

Contact Info:

• Website: www. thriveagaindivorcecoaching.com
• Instagram: @thriveagaindivorcecoaching

Image Credits

ALEX ABERCROMBIE