We were lucky to catch up with Chivonne Gabriel, Lcsw-c recently and have shared our conversation below.
Chivonne, thrilled to have you on the platform as I think our readers can really benefit from your insights and experiences. In particular, we’d love to hear about how you think about burnout, avoiding or overcoming burnout, etc.
As a woman who enjoys checking things off my to-do list, I can get pretty carried away to the point of not eating until it’s done. Needless to say, I’ve experienced burnout more than I would like to admit and it’s that bottoming out that has turned things around for me. I realized that burning out caused me to be far less effective and impactful than I desire to be. Things suffer, people suffer, I suffer.
How do I overcome burnout now? There are a number of things I do now to help me overcome it so that I don’t find myself on “E”. I make a list of the areas of my life that need my attention, that could be personal, family, business, medical and so on and then itemize the top 2-3 things in each category. Then I schedule the time in my calendar to begin tackling the items. The time I schedule for the things is not too strenuous so that I don’t get so overwhelmed and then I take breaks as often as I need to in order to ease the pressure. This is the practical stuff but the real keys to overcoming burnout for me look a little like this.
Before I get into the actual to do’s I start with some me-time and that’s not always yoga or exercise, sometimes it’s a long hot shower with some meditative music after I’ve gotten the kids off to school. Other times it’s dancing it out to my current favorite song. Movement is critical to getting re-centered. On days that I’m a better listener to my body, it’s deep breathing and other days it’s settling into my bed with my favorite show. At the end of the night, I am almost obsessed with my need to laugh before I go to sleep. As a psychotherapist and coach, I can go pretty deep with my clients so it’s crucial that I deliberately bring myself back up every single day and fill my cup back up.
I do my best to get busy doing nothing. Absolutely, nothing. Not the laundry, the shopping run, not the phone calls — just nothing. The mind and body need to be still to regenerate energy in order to be productive. So I fight the rhetoric in my mind that sets out to convince me that being still is laziness and I sit there – intentionally, relaxing. A weekend getaway is nice but sometimes stressful. I find that being able to relax at home in my coziest loungewear is the best decompressor.
Lastly, boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. Let’s be honest, some of us thrive on being able to appease others and sometimes to the detriment of ourselves. It’s something I am constantly checking and when I’m being mindful, I am more present to the motives behind my “yes” when I grant it. I practice saying “no”. Just because I can do something, doesn’t mean that I need to do something. I gauge my capacity and set limits for myself and those around me. Sometimes, I do really poorly. Sometimes, I do really well.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I’m the founder of The Mosaic Refinery, where we provide psychotherapy, coaching (individual, group, and corporate) as well as personal development workshops. I’ve got over 22 years of experience as a licensed certified clinical social worker and I’ve worked with hundreds of families, individuals, men and women including our nation’s Veterans. I’m an international keynote speaker and enjoy facilitating personal development workshops.
There was a time in 2011 when I found myself curled up on my floor undergoing another miscarriage in the middle of a separation from my husband. Not long after the miscarriage, we lost the house, and then we divorced. In the space of a year, everything was gone including who I was. I was clinically depressed and hanging on by a thread. Soon thereafter, I immersed myself even more into therapy to recover and deal with how I’d gotten where I was and reclaim myself. It was both arduous and rewarding.
As a result of taking my own journey to take myself back and heal, it has made me an even more impactful therapist, coach, speaker, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and woman. These are just a couple of the events in my life that led to the birth of The Mosaic Refinery where we take the broken pieces of our lives and use them to transform our lives into something beautiful. We believe that beautiful things grow in hard places and set out to help people discover this truth in their own lives. We do this primarily through group coaching, workshops, and retreats where we go deep and wide on uncovering the “how” behind the “what”. I’m passionate about seeing actual transformation take place for other women who know that there’s got to be more than what they’ve experienced so far.
We have a growing community online as well where we highlight the stories of other women to help foster community and support so others can see and know that they are not alone. We’ve got upcoming workshops and retreats this year that people should keep an eye out for.
After going through a divorce, multiple miscarriages, and a foreclosure I’d really lost the sense of who I was and I was unrecognizable. I’d achieved everything I wanted up until this point in my life and yet it all seemed to fall apart including who I was. I took the long and painful journey of healing and rebuilding who I am. It was ugly and beautiful all at once. I had to face things that I’d pushed into the darkness and it was in those tough places that I discovered the best of who I am and my purpose. I delved into my own self-discovery and personal development. I uncovered scars that had not healed so well and gave them the attention they deserved. Therapy and the communities I surrounded myself with got me through the worst season in my life and gave me tools to help me face life’s challenges. The mission of The Mosaic Refinery is to help other high-performing women find the beauty in their broken pieces in a way that refines them and propels them into an even more impactful woman. I believe that while our stories differ, the pain we experience as humans is unverisal and that it all has tremendous purpose if we lean into it and carefully
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Looking back on my journey, learning to sit with the uncomfortable feelings is one of the most impactful skills I’ve learned to develop that benefits my life and relationships still today. What it means to be able to sit with my feelings is to not judge them, fix them or avoid them, but to simply let them be. Feelings make so many of us uncomfortable but I believe that it’s not the feelings per se that cause the discomfort but the fallout from the event that led to the feelings.
A shift in our mindset will also go a long way in navigating through the hardships of life. Seeing our feelings as informants that need to drop off information and point us in the direction of what’s needing our attention eases some of the discomfort and allows us more breathing room mentally to assess what’s going on. Figuring out a way through will come, when it comes. For the moment, it is enough simply to feel what you feel.
Lastly, developing the ability to be introspective is a game changer. No matter the circumstance, when all is said and done, we all have to live with ourselves. While it may true, that others have a hand in the challenges that arise, we cannot control others but understanding how we show up, how we contribute to our own circumstances empowers us in a way that carries dividends that transcend our circumstances.
To anyone who may be early on their journey, recognize that the journey is far more important than the destination. Trying to get to anything fast, robs you of appreciating all the gems along the way. Be patient and gracious with your backstory and deal with it lovingly. We all have one. There’s no shame in that because it is the human experience of everyone with a pulse. Uncovering the secrets is where the person you believe you want to be is actually hiding. Own it.
How would you describe your ideal client?
My ideal client is a growth-minded woman or professional seeking transformation in her personal or professional life. She feels stuck — whether in self-doubt, limiting beliefs, burnout or unhealed past experiences. She is ready to take action and reclaim her power. She values personal development, desires deeper self-love and confidence. She wants to break cycles that no longer serve her.
For corporate clients, my ideal audience includes HR leaders, wellness coordinators, and executives who recognize the importance of mental health, resilience, and emotional intelligence in the workplace. They seek engaging, high-impact wellness solutions that empower employees, improve retention and foster a healthier work environment.
Across all of my offerings – workshops, coaching, speaking and retreats — my ideal clients are those who are committed to growth, open to mindset shifts, and ready to step into their next best version with the right support.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.chivonnegabriel.com
- Instagram: @chivonnegabriel; @themosaicrefinery
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chivonnegabriellcswc
Image Credits
Image credit for last photo (with hat) Chip Dizard
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
