Meet Fereshta Ramsey

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Fereshta Ramsey a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Fereshta, thank you for being such a positive, uplifting person. We’ve noticed that so many of the successful folks we’ve had the good fortune of connecting with have high levels of optimism and so we’d love to hear about your optimism and where you think it comes from.

I wasn’t always an optimist. That hard-won quality was born from the dark, rich, fertile soil of trauma—at a time in my life when I was ready to give up.

I was born in Kabul, Afghanistan, during the Soviet invasion. As scientists, educators, artists, and students were abducted, disappeared into prisons without due process, or killed without notice, it became clear—no one was safe. Day by day, our civic rights were stripped away, and the war closed in. My parents saw the writing on the wall. They made the impossible decision to leave everything behind before it was too late.

I don’t remember much from before we fled. Just flashes. My grandfather teaching me the names of the fruit trees in our family orchard. The warmth of a village wrapped around me—cousins, aunties, uncles, and grandparents. Following my mom around at the university where she taught, watching her move through the world with confidence and purpose. Then, suddenly, it was all gone.

With nothing but some clothes and my milk powder, we slipped into the shadows of smuggling routes, moving through the night, never sure if the next checkpoint would grant us safe passage or be the end. Nearly a week of fear, uncertainty, and grief. And then, finally—Pakistan.

As refugees, we found ourselves in a different kind of limbo. The trauma of leaving everything behind, of knowing we could never return to the beautiful life we once had, settled into our bones. We grieved our home, our family, our sense of belonging. The weight of despair pressed down as we faced an unknown future, waiting for some country—any country—to take us in.

Fourteen long months later, the United States gave us political asylum. We were safe—but now, the real work began.

Starting over in a foreign land, rebuilding life from nothing, while keeping an ear to the ground for loved ones still in harm’s way—this was the reality of survival. Being a war child, losing everything I knew and loved, and growing up in a strange new world shattered my sense of safety. For years, the ground beneath me never quite felt solid.

And yet—this is where my story begins. By age 23, I had seen and endured more pain and I was drowning in victimhood, stuck in the quicksand of daily suffering. My marriage felt empty. My work drained me. I was numbing myself just to make it through the day, only to collapse into a quiet despair at night, dreading the cycle all over again.

Then came the crossroads: I could either leave this body—and all the pain that came with it—or I could choose to become my own best friend. There was optimism in having that second option. That choice led me to my first shadow work retreat with the fierce, no-BS, deeply loving coach, Debbie Ford. Under her mentorship, I began peeling back the layers of trauma that had held me hostage—not to anyone else, but to myself.

Facing my shadow was terrifying. But it was also the most alive I had ever felt. Taking radical responsibility for myself cracked something open. It was raw. It was humbling. And it was the doorway to my freedom. With every illusion I dismantled, I saw more clearly: I had been the architect of my suffering—and that meant I could be the architect of something else.

And here’s the wild part: buried inside all that pain was also my joy. My aliveness. My light. When I owned those parts of me, everything shifted. My beliefs changed. My behavior changed. My life changed.

I stopped self-medicating and numbing. I faced the hard truths I had been avoiding. I saw, with raw clarity, how my choices were keeping me stuck in a life that wasn’t mine. So, I made the terrifying, necessary decision to break free. I ended my marriage—a union that felt more like a cage than a partnership. I walked away from a job that made my soul wilt, one that had nothing to do with my values or the person I was becoming.

And then, I turned toward what lit me up. Music. Songwriting. I poured myself into it, recording albums and creating with three incredible bands. For the first time, I wasn’t just surviving—I was fully alive. With every step, I rebuilt trust in myself. And when you trust yourself, truly trust yourself, the world cracks wide open. Suddenly, everything is possible.

My optimism isn’t naïve—it’s rooted in the deep knowing that we humans are resourceful, resilient, and capable of profound transformation. But only if we’re willing to tell the truth to ourselves. I was the master of playing victim, and if I could find my way out, then I have no doubt we can, as a species.

At my core, I’m a peace activist. I want humans to have access to their inner peace so they can be stewards of peace in the world. Because when we do this work—not just for ourselves, but for the world we want to live in—it ripples outward. Into our families. Our communities. Our nations. Our planet.

The revolution starts from within. Let’s f’ing gooooooo!!!

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

What lights me up the most in my work? Watching my clients have those undeniable, soul-shaking aha moments—when the truth clicks, the lights turn on, and they finally see what’s been keeping them stuck. That moment when radical honesty meets deep self-awareness, and they realize: I don’t have to live like this anymore.

I’m here for the rebels, the mystics, the weirdos, and the alchemists—the ones who didn’t come here to play small. The ones who feel the pull to do something real and epic—to forge a new way forward and elevate this world.

The revolution doesn’t start out there. It starts inside. In that quiet but undeniable moment when your soul whispers, Enough. Maybe it looks like a divorce. A job ending. Or just that chronic, nagging ick that no external fix can solve. When the pain gets loud enough, people become willing—willing to face themselves, to sit with the discomfort, to honor the truth their soul has been begging them to hear.

My only priority as a guide? Making sure my clients honor their souls. A soul-led life won’t steer you wrong. A life led by society? That’s dangerous. A life run by ego and outdated social norms? Run. Fast. But a life you’ve deeply investigated, one that feels true in your bones, one that brings an unshakable peace and a knowing smile? That is priceless.

Because honestly—what are we even doing in this brief, wild incarnation if we’re not being true to ourselves? That’s the place from which we can rock our relationships best and do epic shit in the world!

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Befriend your shadow. No, really – give that part of you deep, unconditional compassion. Those younger parts of you? They didn’t choose to adapt to the big people. They HAD to, in order to survive. Thank them for doing their best with what they knew at the time. And then, with love, help them unclench their white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel of your life. You, the wise adult, are driving now. Keep those younger parts safe in the back seat. Build trust with them, so when they get scared, they know they can turn to you. Their needs are real. And as long as you breathe, you are their fiercest advocate.

Embrace uncertainty. It’s non-negotiable. You will never have all the answers, and yet, you’ll still have to make choices for your soul. Every decision has benefits and drawbacks—always. Learn to love that groundlessness. It’s what makes you human. And being human? It’s fucking hard. So when things don’t go the way you hoped, don’t turn on yourself. Please don’t turn on yourself. Self-aggression and shame won’t make you wiser. Compassionate inquire and self-reflection will. Drop the bat. When you accept that every choice requires a leap of faith, you soften in the face of adversity. And in that softening, your resilience grows.

Train for your relationships. Do. Not. Wing. This. You cannot afford to fumble your way through love, because when you do, you cause relational trauma that you cannot take back. Learn how to communicate responsibly. Listen with presence and reverence for someone else’s truth. Know your triggers—because if you don’t, they will be the undertow that pulls you under in conflict. Get good at repair even if it was never modeled to you. This is the place where trust and intimacy are built – through your accountability. Address your old pain so it doesn’t hijack your high-stakes relationships. Own your side of the street in every conflict. And never, for a single second, think that love alone will save you. Don’t lose your most treasured relationships because of your wishful thinking. Build your emotional musculature now, and you will have it for life. Do not fuck around here.

One of our goals is to help like-minded folks with similar goals connect and so before we go we want to ask if you are looking to partner or collab with others – and if so, what would make the ideal collaborator or partner?

I’m love to partner and collaborate—with communities, schools, media outlets, podcasters, and organizations that know true revolutions don’t start from the top down. They ignite within—one person at a time—until that fire takes root in our communities.

The most powerful force for change isn’t a strategy drafted in a boardroom or a theory debated in a think tank. It’s the undeniable spark inside each person—the moment they wake up to their own truth and decide to live in integrity with it.

I’m looking for people who know—deep in their bones—that they have been preparing their entire lives to show up powerfully for this moment. This is the time for everyone to bring their core gifts to the problems that face us. The world needs your wisdom, your courage, your lived experience—now more than ever.

If that’s the energy you’re bringing, let’s connect. [email protected]—let’s see what kind of epic shit we can create together.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.fereshtaramsey.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fereshtacoaching
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@FereshtaRamsey
• Other: Substack: https://substack.com/@fereshtaramsey

Image Credits

Kellie Walsh
Angela Ahmadi
Bree Michael Warner