Meet Lila Mayes

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Lila Mayes. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Lila below.

Lila, so good to have you with us today. We’ve got so much planned, so let’s jump right into it. We live in such a diverse world, and in many ways the world is getting better and more understanding but it’s far from perfect. There are so many times where folks find themselves in rooms or situations where they are the only ones that look like them – that might mean being the only woman of color in the room or the only person who grew up in a certain environment etc. Can you talk to us about how you’ve managed to thrive even in situations where you were the only one in the room?

When I began evolvong into my purpose-driven work, I would often walk into a room as the only Black woman. Early in my career there was sometimes a weight of standing out, of being the only one who looked like me, and with that came a sense of intimidation. I questioned whether I belonged, whether my voice mattered, and if my perspective could be valued in spaces where I felt like an outsider. I wasn’t always sure how to bridge the gap between my identity and the expectations around me.

Conversely, there were many times I believed I was invited into spaces as a Black woman so others could attempt to pimp my experience and my voice to gain insight and understanding from someone they deemed a safe negro. Imposter syndrome was real. I’d wonder if I was “enough” or if I was just there to fulfill some diversity quota. It’s tough when you feel like you’re being judged not on your skills, but on the color of your skin. And even though it wasn’t always said out loud, microaggressions would pop up in the way of comments or behaviors that made it clear I didn’t always fit the mold. The challenge wasn’t just being different; it was learning how to navigate spaces where people didn’t always understand the weight of that difference.

Over time, something shifted. I started to lean into the uniqueness of being the only one. My Black womaness became my superpower. I realized that my difference was not a barrier, but a strength. It gave me a perspective that others did not have. It fueled my resilience, my creativity, and my ability to navigate spaces with confidence. And in learning to emprace that power, I discovered how to not just survive in those rooms, but to thrive. I realized that being the only one in the room gave me a vantage point that no one else had. I could bring fresh perspectives, ask questions others might overlook, and see the blind spots others could not. My experiences, my background, my aesthetic, and my identity had equipped me with a distinctive lens that was valuable to everyone around me. I had become the representation that matters.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

I am a Texas native (California-raised), I consider myself the ultimate multi-hyphenate, purpose-driven professional with a background in Artist Relations, Event Production, and Human Resources. I am also a fashion/wellness content creator and co-host of a weekly health empowerment podcast called “Excuse Me, Doctor?!”.

My 9-5 work is as an Administrator of a training program in below-the-line television and film production.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

A quality that has served me throughout my career is my curiosity to learn new things. Continuous learning keeps me open to growth as ideas, technology, and the world evolve.

Another quality that I think is important is being confident enough to change my mind when I get new information.

A learned skill that has stretched me in critical areas is treating mistakes and mishaps as teachable moments. There is a lesson in every circumstance so be open to feedback – ask for it, even. I often tell my mentees to take the meat and throw out the bones. Meaning; if critism or feedback lands for them, something of value has been shared and an adjustment might be neceesary. If they receive critism that does not resonate, maybe it isn’t valuable for that moment, but file it away.

Thanks so much for sharing all these insights with us today. Before we go, is there a book that’s played in important role in your development?

The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz is a powerful book, and its wisdom has resonated deeply with me. The Four Agreements offers a simple but profound code of conduct to create more freedom, happiness, and peace in life.

Be Impeccable with Your Word: This agreement emphasizes the power of our words and how they shape our reality. Ruiz suggests that speaking with integrity and using words in a positive way can bring about both personal growth and healing in our relationships. “Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.”

Don’t Take Anything Personally: This is a reminder that other people’s actions and words are a reflection of them, not me. When we stop taking things personally, we free ourselves from unnecessary emotional pain. “Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality.”

Don’t Make Assumptions: Ruiz stresses the importance of clear communication and not jumping to conclusions. By avoiding assumptions, we prevent misunderstandings and unnecessary conflict. “Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.”

Always Do Your Best: This agreement encourages us to put forth our best effort in every situation, but to also be gentle with ourself when things don’t go as planned. “Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.”

Contact Info:

• Website: https://curvygirlsncurls.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/curvygirlsncurls/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lila-mayes-82a0633/