Meet Ildian Ulloa

We were lucky to catch up with Ildian Ulloa recently and have shared our conversation below.

Ildian , thank you so much for joining us today. Let’s jump right into something we’re really interested in hearing about from you – being the only one in the room. So many of us find ourselves as the only woman in the room, the only immigrant or the only artist in the room, etc. Can you talk to us about how you have learned to be effective and successful in situations where you are the only one in the room like you?

The only thing that kept me grounded was drawing. I felt different when I was in medicine, but I felt even more out of place in art school. Everyone had bright, colorful, and anime-style works, and I was like the black sheep, always creating pieces with a darker, more depressing, and horror-inspired style. Art that has always inspired me—and still does—stems from dark, sad emotions. And let me tell you, I was always noticed because everyone used colors as bright as the sun, as joyful as the rainbow, and as hopeful as the sky. Meanwhile, I? Well, red, purple, blue, and black were always my friends, along with my tragic stories. No one was like me in the room, and I’m still learning to feel comfortable with my artistic choices. However, what helps me is the fact that everyone has different tastes. There will always be people who like your work and people who don’t. Every artwork has its own fan base, and the smallest ones are often the most loyal. Having friends or family who will always be your first fans, no matter what. You have to stay true to yourself.

However those are simple things that make me to stay focus, but I know when you are dealing with mental health its a deeper level and would take time to see with your eyes and mind how being different its not a bad thing and can led you to grater things in life. Its easy to say than feel it or doing it, still every path has their time, for some its longer or shorter. As I say mine is still on construction. If you know you can’t do it alone, don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I’ll start by saying that art wasn’t my first choice when it came to careers… I was a straight-A student, and when I was in school, I always told myself and others that I was going to be a doctor and that medicine was my calling. However, one day I noticed one of my classmates drawing alone at their desk, and it was like a shift in my brain. Everything I had built to become a doctor—my grades, the teachers’ affection, all the extracurriculars in science—was just a backup in this world, but my mind couldn’t stop thinking about what my classmate was doing. My goals changed a little; instead of reading huge books about science and anatomy, I began to spend my time drawing. I started doing it on my own, leaving my initial goal behind. I even became friends with the classmate who showed me what drawing was all about.

I’ve read stories where people talk about being bullied for drawing or being the “art kid,” but that wasn’t my case. On the contrary, people praised me, encouraging me to keep drawing. The only bully in my life was myself; I’ve struggled with mental health issues since I was young and often doubted myself. Not only that, but I was the one holding myself back… So, I went to medical school and completed two and a half years. In my country, I was very far into the program. But again, my mental health took a turn, and I left medicine. I was devastated because I didn’t know what to do with my life and felt like I had failed everyone, even myself.

Then I started working in an office job as an assistant, thinking I could work for a while and save money. However, my mental health was taking another toll on me, and I felt desperate to find something that would make me feel whole, something that could make me feel like I belonged. So, I joined a support group and met many people of different ages who were in a similar situation to mine. I completed their program, but eventually, I came back to the one thing that had always been consistent, even when my mind was failing me: drawing. At first, I wasn’t sure what to do, but then I heard about an art school. I started the application process, but I had no idea how to create a portfolio, and I was already behind on the deadline. Fortunately, the school had a two-week summer program where teachers would monitor you to see if you were a good fit for their curriculum. I took a chance on it. Initially, they didn’t have space in the program I wanted, so they offered me a spot in a similar one. But two weeks later, they called to let me know that there was an opening in my desired program, so I made the switch. I spent a year and a half studying illustration and graduated at the top of my class.

It was a significant journey for me because I was older than my classmates and had different tastes in art, shaped by my darker, more melancholic mindset. My inspirations didn’t always match theirs. I was still dealing with my mental health, but I refused to give up on this path. I knew that art was my true calling, because if I didn’t pursue it, I would never find a way to move forward in life. It was the one thing my heart and soul needed to survive. It might sound unusual, but choosing art as my life’s path was the best decision I’ve ever made, and I’d choose it again without hesitation.

Today, I’m doing what I love and working every day to get better. I’m focused on pursuing a career in the animation and game industries. I’ve always dreamed of telling stories through movies or games, and my classmates, friends and my mom have always encouraged me to follow that path. The idea of creating living worlds that come from your own mind and allowing people to experience a range of emotions and sensations is something I want to bring into my professional life. In the future, I hope to create my own game and short animation. Maybe it’s a bit ambitious, but my dreams have always been the driving force behind my persistence. We live in a world and time where you never really know what might happen—so why not do what you love and hope for the best?

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

I believe that my persistence, responsibility, and commitment to myself were the qualities that pushed me to keep going, and they are still the driving forces propelling me toward what I want. A piece of advice I would give is not to be afraid to ask for help or guidance—no matter what, someone will appear who is willing to respond and assist you in achieving your goals. If one person doesn’t motivate you, another will, and if not, you’ll have to lift yourself up, but you’ll be grateful for every moment, whether good or bad. Always be thankful, as you never know who might open a door for you. Never stop learning and practicing—because the more knowledge you gain, the more questions may arise, but you’ll have the tools to find the answers. And although it may sound repetitive, good health truly helps you navigate tough situations, especially for those dealing with mental health challenges. Giving up is never an option when you’re determined to pursue your dreams. At the end you have yourself to live this life.

Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?

What I do is call my best friends when I feel like my mind is about to overpower me in a psychological battle. If they’re not available, I reach out to my therapist, and if they’re not around either, I start writing down every word or idea that pops into my head—whether on paper or in my phone notes. Recently, one idea my friends gave me was to change the narrative. Imagine that whatever is tormenting you is something ridiculous, like a thief duck trying to steal your happiness. But you and your super squad of kittens are there to stop it from taking away what you’ve worked so hard to protect. I also find that going for a walk and playing the music I love really helps. Look for things that are completely different from what’s causing your discomfort. Because that bad thing does not define you as a person and it’s just an unpleasant minute.

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Ildian Ulloa

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