Meet Khrystyne Khaliqi Jaspers

We recently connected with Khrystyne Khaliqi Jaspers and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Khrystyne Khaliqi, so excited to have you with us today and we are really interested in hearing your thoughts about how folks can develop their empathy? In our experience, most folks want to be empathic towards others, but in a world where we are often only surrounded by people who are very similar to us, it can sometimes be a challenge to develop empathy for others who might not be as similar to us. Any thoughts or advice?

I would never have described myself as an “empathetic” person. Growing up, I was the kid who got in trouble for being sassy and perpetually stuck my foot in my mouth. By nature, I am a fixer. If I can’t fix it with my words, I feel lost and helpless.

But the year I turned 34, I experienced back to back miscarriages within 6 months. Suddenly, there were no words that could make all of the questions and doubts I had better. My heart was aching in a way that made no sense to my brain. I wrestled with this idea, “How can losing something you never saw or touched hurt so deeply?”

Though this was one of the hardest times of my life, and I would not wish it on anyone, now I can see how this was actually the catalyst used to help me develop empathy. I looked back on my life and saw times when I had brushed past others pain. Or situations where I had inadvertently hurt others with words I intended for healing.

Miscarriage is both a physical and emotional pain to carry, but as a mom of young kids, my life had to keep moving forward right away. I began to realize the stories of grief and loss so many of us carry under the surface of our reality. We push it down because we have to, but if people are given the space to talk, we can begin to uncover the stories that truly cause them pain.

As I grow, I am learning the key to developing empathy is not fixing the problem. Empathy is the ability to hold space for others. To be a person who enters into the depths of the doubts and fears with them and remain.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I’m an elementary and special education teacher by trade who fell down the rabbit hole of entrepreneurship when I started sharing our family of 4’s journey in a 1 bedroom apartment on social media.

My husband and I were both educators living in Manhattan, and when we began having kids, I knew I wanted to find a way to stay in the city while having a more flexible schedule with them at home.

While families all around us were leaving the city in droves or upgrading for extra bedrooms, my husband and I decided to go all in on a 1 bedroom apartment in a neighborhood we loved and that we could afford.

For years, I looked at our space and felt embarrassed, like we were doing something wrong because we didn’t have more. Slowly, I began to coach myself through the mindsets that kept me stuck and unhappy with our home. I began looking at what we had with gratitude and taking an honest look at the functionality of our apartment and what our family valued most.

As I shared and wrote, families began to reach out and stop me in the neighborhood asking advice about maximizing their space. I fell in love with going into family’s homes and coaching them with the techniques that would help them move forward with longevity in smaller homes.

Last year, I launched Space Jams — think lifestyle coaching meets home organization and design — and I offer both virtual and in person coaching for families looking to maximize their spaces and create sustainability. It’s been so incredible to work with clients from all over the country and hear their unique stories and motivation for wanting to make small space living more enjoyable.

Since launching, our home has been featured on Apartment Therapy, various lifestyle blogs, Caleb Simpson, and I have recorded podcasts and training for summits helping mom’s re-envision what’s possible with less.

You can connect and learn more about my story and services on my website khrystynejaspers.com
You can grab my free small space survival guide here
https://spring-bonus-491.myflodesk.com/a02c87aa-84fe-46f6-92fe-37b3db1091e5

If gift giving season seem especially overwhelming for you with toys and stuff, you can grab my Gift Giving Guide. It helps walk you through the mindsets for more experiential giving as well as tips for navigating with kids and family and tons of ideas how to get started.

https://spring-bonus-491.myflodesk.com/budd330d2z

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

I love this question and looking back it seems simple, but it can be hard to pinpoint it when you are in the thick of everything.

The first quality is the ability to see outside the box.
Social Media can be a powerful tool to growing a business and educating others, but it is so easy to have your vision influenced by comparison and what others expect. As I was beginning to reimagine our home, I found myself getting so discouraged because what I had wasn’t what others expected. I began to compare myself when what I really needed to do was get clear on what I valued, what mattered most to our family and finding a path forward with those things in mind. If you are starting on your journey, I recommend putting on your blinders and muting voices that cause you to get stuck in the box of comparison.

The second skill I think is important to cultivate is taking messy action.

I have had the privilege of coaching other entrepreneurs as they take steps forward with their businesses, and I think one of the biggest barriers to overcome is this idea of having to have it perfect before you start. A wise person once told me, “Khrystyne, none of us know what we are doing. We are just figuring it out as we go.” Being willing to take messy action is so important to actually making progress on what you say you want to do. Set a deadline for yourself and make it happen.

The last skill set that has been beneficial to me in all realms of life is the skill of asking good questions. Everyone knows how to ask questions, but asking the right questions to dig deeper and broaden your understanding is a skill I am always trying to hone. The best way I can recommend is asking yourself more questions and not just settling for surface level responses. “Why is this hard for me?” “Why am I avoiding or putting this off?” “What am I making this task mean about me?” When we are willing to sit and listen, we discover what truly lies behind the surface of what we see and think is happening.

How would you describe your ideal client?

My ideal client would be a family who wants to reimagine what is possible with less. We live in a society where everyone tells us we that more = more. The clients I love working with the most are the ones who are willing to defy that and say, “No. This is actually what matters most to me and my family, and I want help figuring out how to make that possible where I am.”

People tend to think our homes are all about stuff and decor, but its really so much more than that. My ideal clients are willing to get deep and really figure out why something is a problem and what removing that obstacle means for them.

For example, one of my clients lived in a studio with a small kitchen. As we began coaching, she discovered that having clear counters meant more opportunities for hospitality and healthier food prep. Suddenly, it became more than just putting away and organizing food. Reimagining her space represented a healthier and happier version of life that she didn’t believe was possible because of her space.

My ideal client is one that is looking for these deeper meanings and willing to work towards dreaming bigger in their space with the habits and systems they invite in.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://khrystynejaspers.com
• Instagram: khrystynejaspers
• Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/ khrystyne-jaspers-2349b1335

Image Credits

Christopher Davis