We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Kate Ferrian a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Kate, so great to have you sharing your thoughts and wisdom with our readers and so let’s jump right into one of our favorite topics – empathy. We think a lack of empathy is at the heart of so many issues the world is struggling with and so our hope is to contribute to an environment that fosters the development of empathy. Along those lines, we’d love to hear your thoughts around where your empathy comes from?
Empathy has always been an innate strength of mine — I came into the world with a tender heart and a deep ability to feel what others were feeling. But growing up in a household steeped in judgment and criticism, I learned early on that sensitivity wasn’t safe. I was taught to toughen up and to hide the softness. Over time, that gift of empathy got buried beneath layers of self-protection and perfectionism.
And then came the relationship that stripped everything away. An abusive relationship shortly after my divorce tore me down to nothing — and in that unraveling, something unexpected happened. Sitting in the wreckage of who I thought I was, I met the rawest parts of myself. And that’s where empathy came back to life.
It was in the moments that broke me open that I began to understand others more deeply. But it wasn’t just the pain — it was the healing. As I learned to see and accept myself fully, I started seeing others with the same level of compassion and clarity. I realized how many people were silently carrying pain, shame, and exhaustion behind polished exteriors — just like I had been.
Empathy, to me, isn’t about fixing others. It’s about holding space. It’s about honoring the full humanity in someone else, even when they can’t yet see it in themselves. That’s what Simply Become It is built on — a foundation of radical compassion, deep presence, and the belief that healing begins when we are truly seen.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I’m the founder of Simply Become It, a transformational space where ambitious women come to shed the layers of who they were told to be and reconnect with the truth of who they are. We empower women to build strong foundations in every area of life — emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually — so they can lead from alignment, not autopilot.
What makes our work truly unique is how intentionally it’s built. At the heart of it is our signature offering: the 90-Day Self-Love Journey — a structured, soul-nourishing experience that blends daily micro-practices with deep personal growth. Each day includes simple, 5-minute rituals that help women build the muscle of consistently taking care of themselves. These quick daily actions are designed to create sustainable change by gently rewiring how we show up for ourselves, every single day.
This journey combines the best parts of a wellness retreat — reflection, connection, and spaciousness — with the practicality and accountability of real life. Clients move through self-guided coursework inside a supportive cohort of women, guided by an Empowerment Strategist who keeps them anchored and moving forward. And what sets it apart even further is the 30 days of personalized 1:1 coaching, uniquely tailored to each woman’s needs, challenges, and alignment. It’s not a one-size-fits-all approach — it’s a deeply intentional framework built for transformation.
Another powerful piece of what we do is the Simply Synergy Squad — our advisory board of wellness practitioners and coaches who support clients holistically. These aren’t siloed services; they’re integrated, collaborative, and designed to support the whole woman. Our team includes everything from mental health coaches to yoga instructors and nutrition specialists — all working together, often using each other’s services, to provide deeply informed and compassionate care.
The name Simply Become It has its own special story. During the most painful part of my divorce, my dear friend Tina wrote the quote “Some women fear the fire, and some women simply become it” by R.H. Sin on a chalkboard in my office. That quote struck something deep in me — it reminded me that I didn’t have to run from the fire, I could become it. It resonated so powerfully that I had “Simply Become It” tattooed on my arm… long before I ever imagined it would become the name of my business. It became my personal mantra — and eventually, my life’s work.
As for what’s next, I’m stepping into the next layer of expansion by taking the Simply Become It message to the stage. Through keynote speaking, I’m inspiring women to peel back the layers, reconnect with their inner fire, and remember that they were never meant to fit in — they were born to become.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
1. Curiosity & Self-Awareness
Everything changed when I learned how to slow down and become open and curious about myself — to listen without judgment to the quiet nudges, the uncomfortable truths, and the parts of me I had ignored or suppressed for years. Openness invites growth, and curiosity allows you to explore who you are beneath the noise of expectations and conditioning.
My advice? Approach yourself like someone you’re just getting to know — with compassion, patience, and wonder. Start small: journaling, meditation, and trusted mentorship can help you build that inner dialogue. The more curious you become, the more self-aware you become — and from there, true transformation begins.
2. Boundaries as Self-Compassion
For much of my life, I equated love with self-sacrifice. I thought being a “good” woman meant saying yes to everyone else — even if it meant saying no to myself. But I’ve learned that boundaries aren’t walls; they’re invitations to deeper connection, starting with the relationship you have with you.
Setting boundaries required me to get curious about what actually feels good in my body, my schedule, and my relationships — and to honor that, even when it was uncomfortable. Boundaries are a powerful act of self-compassion. They teach others how to love us by showing how we love ourselves.
My advice? Start by noticing where you feel drained or resentful — those are often signs that your boundaries need attention. Practice saying no with kindness and clarity. It gets easier — and more empowering — with time. As Brene Brown says “Clear is Kind”.
3. Courage in Small, Consistent Steps
Courage isn’t about being fearless — it’s about being willing. Willing to look inward. Willing to ask better questions. Willing to take one tiny step forward even when the outcome isn’t guaranteed. For me, courage looked like walking away from a life that looked “successful” but didn’t feel aligned.
It’s not a one-time leap; it’s a daily decision to choose yourself, even in the face of doubt. If you’re just starting out, let your courage be rooted in curiosity. Ask yourself: What if it’s safe to want more? What if I’m not broken — just misaligned?
And most importantly, surround yourself with people who reflect your truth back to you — not just who you are, but who you are becoming. The right people will remind you of your strength when you forget, and help you hold the vision until you’re ready to step into it. One small, intentional step at a time — that’s how you build a life that’s truly yours.
Okay, so before we go, is there anyone you’d like to shoutout for the role they’ve played in helping you develop the essential skills or overcome challenges along the way?
The truth is, no one becomes who they’re meant to be alone. My growth has been deeply supported by a personal circle of women, each holding a different kind of strength that I’ve needed along the way.
Every woman deserves a support system that includes:
✨ The Truth Teller — the one who lovingly calls you forward, even when it’s uncomfortable.
✨ The Therapist Friend — who helps you process, reflect, and soften when life feels too heavy.
✨ The Hype Girl — who sees your light, speaks life into your dreams, and cheers the loudest for your wins.
These women have helped me navigate some of the hardest and most defining chapters of my life. But equally important has been the guidance of coaches, mentors, and wellness practitioners who could offer specialized insight and perspective as I grew through each phase of my journey. Sometimes, we need different voices to speak into different seasons — and that’s okay. That’s wise.
That’s exactly why we created the Simply Synergy Squad at Simply Become It. I wanted to give women access to that same level of intentional, holistic support — a team of trusted wellness practitioners and coaches who don’t just work in isolation, but collaborate to support each client as a whole woman. Whether someone needs mindset work, body-based healing, emotional support, or spiritual grounding — our team is equipped to meet her where she is and help her move forward.
We believe that transformation happens when you’re seen, supported, and reminded of who you really are — not just by one person, but by a circle that holds you through every step. That’s the kind of community I built for myself, and it’s the kind of community we’re proud to offer our clients.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.simplybecomeit.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/simplybecomeit/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kate.ferrian13/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kateferrian/
Image Credits
Jenna Schwartz
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