Meet MARY DEVINE

We recently connected with MARY DEVINE and have shared our conversation below.

Hi MARY, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?

How Did You Find Your Purpose?

Having, knowing, and working toward a purpose has become one of my greatest needs. I’ve found that I often can’t see the whole picture until I’ve already lived it. But learning to trust that has completely changed how I make decisions. Now, I point myself in the direction I want to go and try to stay open to whatever comes my way.

This hasn’t always been my approach. In the past, I was rigid—insisting that this (whatever “this” was) was the way things had to be. I’d push forward even when everything felt off, even when frustration outweighed fulfillment. It never led me to joy.

Thankfully, I’ve met a few earthly angels along the way. You know the kind—people who shift your thinking or step in just when you need them most. Often, you only recognize their impact in hindsight. I bet you could name at least a few people who helped shape your life just by showing up and being who they are.

These aren’t financial decisions—they’re heart and more often, gut decisions. And while a lot of work goes into those moments, when it’s the right path, it doesn’t always feel like work. It feels like purpose. It feels like passion.
When I married Vince, I took over the bookkeeping for his small contracting business. In 1989, we moved away from my family with the hope of building a thriving life together. Vince was a creative, talented carpenter with a loyal crew. We imagined ourselves becoming a power couple—raising a family, living creatively, and working side by side. My “calling,” back then, was a family plan.

Of course, life has a way of rewriting the script.

One day, Vince came home in a terrible mood. You could feel the tension before he even said a word. He stomped through the door, tossed papers on the counter, and stormed off, muttering. I didn’t know then that this moment would be the start of a very dark chapter. Months later, he assaulted me. He took me to the hospital, where he ended up throwing a chair through the sliding doors in the emergency room.

I never could have imagined that the man who once promised to protect me—who swore he wouldn’t be like his father—would become violent. I never imagined losing the only baby I would ever carry.
Is this inspiring? No, but it was the beginning of one of the most meaningful paths I would ever take.
That night in the ER, I met Sarah, a nurse who quietly but persistently helped change the course of my life. She spent hours urging me to call my brother to get me. She didn’t argue or scold—just calmly pushed through every excuse I gave her. Deep down, I knew she was right. I knew it was time to go. But I had no plan, no money, no job, and absolutely no confidence.

And I was scared. Terrified, actually.

Sarah was my first angel. My brother, who came that night without hesitation and gave me a safe place to land, was the second. I left that marriage.
I’ve learned that helping others helps me. I moved in with my Aunt Ruth, who was soon diagnosed with cancer. As I helped care for her, I also began to heal myself. I took up martial arts—something I’d never imagined doing, but it gave me strength and focus I didn’t know I had.

That’s where I met Maria, a police officer and martial artist who became my mentor. She invited me on a ride-along one night. I loved the variety of the work, the chance to help people in crisis, the sense of purpose, and rushing in to help people in their most vulnerable moments—it was intoxicating. I was hooked!

Maria supported me through four years of college, a demanding police application process, and, yes, another difficult marriage—this one to a man struggling with addiction. But I kept going. I worked full-time while attending night classes to earn a degree in criminal justice. My life was full, and my purpose had never been clearer.

I believe we’re all given more than one calling in life. Thank goodness—because at sixty-four, I no longer see myself as a downhill skier!

I also believe we’re offered multiple chances to choose our direction. We don’t get one shot at finding purpose. Instead, I see it as a series of invitations—nudges that encourage us to say yes, one step at a time. It’s not a one-and-done thing. You follow the breadcrumbs. You stay open to the people and moments that show up unexpectedly. You can’t plan an inspired life. Sometimes, it wears an entirely different outfit than you imagined, but it shows up repeatedly.

Eventually, I found my calling as a police detective in the domestic violence unit. There, I met a woman whose experience mirrored mine in almost every way. She had also lost her baby after a violent episode. And at that moment, I felt like I was there for her the way Sarah had once been for me.

She wasn’t ready to accept help, and I respected that. But I believe she was placed in my life to teach me something. I grew through that experience. It helped me heal even more.

Looking back, there’s no way this was my five-year plan:
• Being assaulted and losing my baby
• Meeting Sarah, the nurse who shifted everything
• Helping my Aunt Ruth through cancer
• Receiving an inheritance explicitly marked for “karate lessons”
• Taking martial arts
• Meeting Maria, the police officer who became my mentor
• Becoming a police officer
• Transferring to the Domestic Violence Unit
• Meeting someone whose story brought mine full circle

So, if you’re wondering whether you can mess up your calling, I don’t think you can. If it’s meant for you, it will find you again and again. It won’t always look the way you expect, and the road might be messy, but it will keep showing up.
It’s not a straight line. Sometimes, we take detours. Sometimes, we hit dead ends. But our lives are connected in ways we can’t always see. Trust your gut.

To say I found my purpose might not be quite right.

It feels more like… it found me.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

I retired from the police department and have been open to trying things I love. I love horses, and for the last five years of my police career, I was the commander of the Mounted Patrol Unit. It was a dream come true.

Because of this experience, I was invited back as a Park Director to re-establish the beautiful oasis that Carousel Park and Equestrian Center had once been. I purchased horses and retired horses, re-established a new team of talented riding instructors, and brought back the riding lesson program. Our team created programs like “Mares and Merlot, a ladies’ night out riding program. The sky was the limit, and we took advantage of that opportunity. It was another dream I had not planned – until COVID-19.

After COVID-19, I chose a career as an investigator. Until I learned about writing. My world continues to open up incredible opportunities as long as I keep my eyes and heart open.

I am a speaker and presenter for Domestic violence organizations, offering an enlightened perspective on the issue. I expect to write a second book, picking up where Standing-Up ended, which launches May 6, 2025

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

1. My willingness to be wrong without beating myself up – I didn’t survive a domestic assault from my husband only to pick up where he left off.

2. I have learned to listen to other people’s perspectives without judgment or criticism.. It helps them to be heard, and it helped me widen my perception.

3. Allowing myself to accept and ask for help from others. As a type-A personality, this has always been challenging, but now that I know how good it feels to help people in their hour of need, I understand what a gift it can be to allow someone in my position to help me.

As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?

Inspired and Unstoppable – Wildly Succeeding in your Life’s Work by Tama Kieves, and I have dog-eared way too many pages.

This book came into my life when I was retiring from Police Work. My mother had her first stroke in the month before my retirement, and I moved her into my home with her husband. I have been caring for my mom for almost nine years now, and my step-father passed away about four years ago.

I had no idea what I would do with the rest of my life then, and I was scrolling through emails when I received an email newsletter from Ms. Kieves. Her story resonated with me, and as she told a story about her mother and how different they were, I felt compelled to respond to her message of hope and of finding my dreams.

I attended an event at Kripalu where she was the keynote speaker, and I began coaching with her. She spoke highly of my writing skills and suggested that I write a book about my life. Being a nobody, I was unsure about sharing the horrid details of my life with the world.

I began Standing Up to heal myself but found another angel, who opened my eyes, heart, and mind to another art I can continue as long as I live. I feel compelled to share it with the one in three women who will experience relationship violence in her lifetime.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://marydevinebooks.com/
• Instagram: mary.devine.2519
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StandUpMaryDevine
• Other: Email: [email protected]

Image Credits

Headshot -Gina Degnars-Graves