Meet Sarah Dulany-Gring

 

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Sarah Dulany-Gring. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Sarah, thrilled to have you on the platform as I think our readers can really benefit from your insights and experiences. In particular, we’d love to hear about how you think about burnout, avoiding or overcoming burnout, etc.

Do you remember that metaphor about the frog in boiling water? That a frog dropped into a pot of boiling water will quickly hop out, but put that frog in a pot of tap water and put the stove on “low,” and that frog will die. That is burnout.

We all have those weeks that are busy. Just flat-out busy. Too busy, really, and you know it. You say to yourself, “It’s temporary.” That’s you hopping into the boiling water and then hopping out. Those of us in burnout will also have those weeks, and we’ll also say to ourselves, “It’s temporary,” but we mean it on a larger scale toward some far-off time when life will allow us to rest.

If you wake up every morning to the slow realization that your life has become untenable you are in the pot with the stove on “low”. If you are so tired it feels like it has made its way creeping through your body, to your mind, to your heart, and to your soul—into your very bones—you are in the pot. If you feel like you aren’t sure what’s wrong but your entire life has become deeply unsatisfying, that is burnout. Our culture idealizes pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps. But, as I say in Naked, there are no bootstraps in this place.

It was only when multile rock-bottom items hit all at once was I able to see it. Objectively, I’d easily been in real burnout for four straight years with an on-ramp to it for the six preceding years. Every day I hadn’t died from the stress of my life, I subconsciously took that as a sign that I was fine. I was busy, but it was fine. The problem with that frog slowly boiling is that you don’t even question anything until you see a blister on your skin from the hot water. The extra challenging piece for me is that when I see that blister, I’ll think it’s something I did wrong to make it happen. I won’t question my environment until the bitter, painful end.

Correcting burnout took me years. I am a single mother without the luxury of retreating into a yurt in the woods for a year to heal. I had to do it in the course of normal life. I spent a few days where I didn’t answer my phone or engage with life and cocooned myself in a curtain-pulled room living off of toast and sleep. I quit all sorts of things in my life during that time, but the biggest piece was quitting a way of thinking that wasn’t working for me. I had to start believing I was not simply here for everyone else. I had to start believing I could build a life I wanted to wake up in. I had to start believing I deserved not to have my body, mind, heart, and soul yelling at me daily.

So, I dug into myself to understand how it had gotten this bad and how I would work through it. The truly hard part of burnout is that it shows you that your present life is not working. That you’ve said “yes” to the point of it almost killing you. So the antidote to that is a more discerning “no.” (Let’s be real, I can already hear you baulking that you can’t say, “no,”—yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. Truly.) The point is that instead of looping everything into a life bursting at the seams, you have to find an equivalent weight of “no’s” to balance. You must learn to get clear and find your “why” in everything. Ask yourself “why” until you reach the bottom. Use the clarity to find your “no’s.”

You learn better discernment when you start up that “no” engine from clarity. You can work with the flow of your life that was reinforcing cycles of burnout and reverse it to untangle it. Every day you don’t die from the outcome of your “no’s,” you subconsciously take it as a sign that “no” is fine. That you are okay. You will also make mistakes, but allow yourself to be curious about them. Tease them apart and learn more about yourself through them. This cycle of reinforcement helps you trust yourself and your life just a little more each day.

I still have the default programming for burnout within me. I was taught from an early age to just keep taking it. I am prone to having a million things going on and overextending myself. Knowing that about myself means I added strategies and bumpers to counteract that imbalance. I reflect, inspect, and modify those as needed and whenever I need to. Because life will continue to life. The point is that I can hear the whispers in my body now. I can hear the whispers in my mind, in my heart, and in my soul— down in my very bones—instead of letting them get to the point of yelling at me.

Learning to be objective about myself and my life is the competency burnout gave me. It was the test I had to pass before I could get to anywhere else. Every day I don’t live in burnout is a day that reinforces for me that I don’t want to live in burnout. This is something that takes years. Maybe, a lifetime.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

I love helping people show up for themselves. My work as the owner of FAUVED and the author of Naked focuses on helping people feel fully, connect authentically, and deeply honor themselves. I joke-not-joke that FAUVED is: a book, some sticky-note stickers, and a whole vibe! I firmly believe in not being one’s “best self” but tapping into that whisper and becoming more aligned with your “favorite self.”

What’s been fun recently is I’ve been releasing the need for everything to be sorta-still-serious. Which means I’ve been able to tap into a flow for unique events that I could have never dreamed up without that mindset! I have started doing private parties, workshops, and events that pop! I love being able to come into a space and leave a group or a person more connected, more open, and more deeply rooted in themselves. People want this level of connection but often don’t know how to bridge the gap. My superhero skill is that gap.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

I think that starting a business (or, really, anything) is actually, pretty easy. Getting it launched, making it sustainable, and getting it to grow are the hard parts.

I have found that the same things that work in my life work in my business. I have a cycle in my life of reflection, discernment, and objectivity that guide me.

Practically, that means that I am reflecting on myself and my life and my business, often—in small ways, as a daily practice. I can be objective and get to clarity and circle to my “why’s” to realign myself. Doing anything in this life worth doing requires a certain level of being open to opportunity, becoming increasingly resilient to change, and having the ability to handle rejection. Those items become easier with a solid cycle of reflection, discernment, and objectivity in a way that works for you.

If you are trying to make magic happen in this world, you cannot do it without those things. You have to be able to be objective about your business and make choices that are robustly good for it, and for you. You have to be able to roll with the punches and reflect enough to make better future choices. Your “why” cannot be faked. You cannot do this half-heartedly. You have to be robustly truthful with yourself in the discerning—don’t move forward without this.

My favorite advice really is me saying (loudly, with arms waving about), “You gotta braid it all together and allow it to change at every turn!” Like a braid, each movement gets you further toward goal. Without a cycle of reflection, discernment, and objectivity—it might happen, but it may be slower, more painful, or not feel aligned. Then, it becomes a job that feels like a trap of your own making. Without some level of this cycle, your ability to be open to newness, resilient to change, and handle rejection will experience lack. That lack can easily help feed other cycles of scarcity and block growth and abundance.

My business is its own thing, but it is a part of me, and a reflection of me. It, in many ways, is me. I can only do the creative, quirky, difficult things I do because I work hard to be as whole as possible and bring as much of my favorite self to my desk every morning.

TL/DR: You will only be as successful as you are willing to grow throughout the process.

One of our goals is to help like-minded folks with similar goals connect and so before we go we want to ask if you are looking to partner or collab with others – and if so, what would make the ideal collaborator or partner?

I believe most decisions fall into the following categories: no/yes/fuck yes.

I head toward those “fuck yes’s” whenever possible. My entire business model is structured so I can be light on my feet when things are presented I can make a pure decision.

I am always looking for partners on projects and cool collabs that make sense. Whenever I do a collab, I make it a “+Naked” or “Naked+” event, which creates very cool (& hilarious) promo material (big Sarah laugh). I intersect wherever people are seeking. Whether it’s seeking healing, reflection, connection, insight, or growth, I’m here for the (messy+beautiful) journey.

So, if you’re feeling a whiff of a “fuck yes!” with what you do+what I do, you should email or call me (let’s be real—text, but if you do call me, leave a voicemail—ha!).

Contact Info:

Suggest a Story: BoldJourney is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems,
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
Leadership Development
Empathy Unlocked: Understanding how to Develop Emotional Intelligence

“Empathy is the starting point for creating a community and taking action. It’s the impetus

Productivity
Where do you get your work ethic from?

We’ve all heard the phrase “work hard, play hard,” but where does our work ethic

Productivity
Boosting Productivity Through Self-Care

When you have a never-ending to-do list it can feel irresponsible to engage in self-care,