Meet Amy Margolis

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Amy Margolis. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Amy below.

Amy , so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?

I love this question. How did I find my purpose? I am very fortunate because I never lost it. Trust me, people in my life had their ideas and agendas for me, and I could have easily lived a life tangled up in confusion and people-pleasing, but I was forced to face myself at a young age. By age 19 I hit bottom with Anorexia and landed in therapy. I am so grateful for this because as excruciatingly painful as this was, it is my greatest blessing! Getting into recovery at such a young age enabled me to dig deep, listen to my inner voice, course correct, ignore the noise, and forge my own path.

I didn’t have years of forgetting who I was. I remembered what I loved as a little girl and the events and comments that shut me down. In healing, I got to know the little girl who dealt her feelings of invisibility and loneliness by making her dolls into friends. I gave them all names, personalities, and different voices. Then when I hung out with my real friends, they would record me imitating our favorite commercials, neighbors, and tv stars. In my family acting was not an option, but in reparenting myself I got to make the rules. Thus, I later went to acting school, performed and since becoming a mom, have had such a fun career doing voice over work.

Also in my early healing journey I realized I was on the wrong path in college. At the time I was student teaching to become an elementary school teacher and knew I hated it. Before therapy, I thought, What’s wrong with you. Stick with it. Like mom says its a great career, you’ll have your summers off. You don’t have to love what you do. Real happiness will come from marriage and children.” Once in therapy I
got honest. I was overwhelmed by figuring out who was dyslexic and who was in which spelling group. I did not care if the kids learned their multiplication tables or cheated on their spelling tests. What I really wanted was to I wanted to sit and connect one-on-one with Jeffrey, whose mom was on drugs, and Christian who was living in a hotel because his parents were getting a divorce.

So at the 11th hour, I switched to a double major in Education and Psychology, got permission from the dean to be the first student to graduate with an education degree without a certification and applied for graduate school the following year.

By age 23 I had my master’s degree, lived at home, and was dating the perfect guy on paper. He was Irish, getting his Phd our families loved each other, but I still wanted to move to NYC go to acting school, see the world, and make it on my own. This was really hard as I was going against everybody’s hopes and plans for me. I disappointed and hurt people. But I chose me. And all these years later I am so glad I did. I got married to the right person when I was ready and have three great kiddos.

So you could say my life purpose was to be a mother, therapist, actor, and now author. But really I think it has been to walk through the pain and resistance I needed to in order to heal myself, follow my own North Star, and help others do the same. I believe we are all meant to use all of our gifts and talents in the world to serve others. And we always need to be listening as we are always needed for something new.

My purpose in the last few years has been very strongly to help every woman heal from their anorexic mindset. People so casually call it “diet culture,” but it’s much more dire. Through decades of work as a therapist and deep female friendships, I see women constantly robbing themselves of joy, freedom, and personal power because of a perceived flaw or a number on the scale. This is what prompted me to write Here’s the Memo and am launching an online course called “Breaking Free from Your Anorexic Mindset” to help women identify, challenge, and transform this thinking.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I am a licensed therapist, co-clinical director of Santa Monica Counseling, and a life coach for people out of state. I work with individuals and couples and run groups for clients healing from eating disorders, addictions, anxiety, depression, and relationship issues. I love my work because it is a privilege to hold people’s stories and if they weren’t my clients I would feel blessed to call them friends.

I recently published my first book, Here’s the Memo! A Lifeguide for Women. https://a.co/d/1f19Gz6/. It contains personal stories, professional theories, and tools (with a sprinkle of spirituality and four-letter words) that will help women heal, successfully navigate the many chapters of their lives, and embrace more self-love, happiness, authenitcity!
I am also launching an online course “Break Free From Your Anorexic Mindset” to help women identify, challenge, and transform any thinking that robs them of freedom, joy, and personal power because of a perceived flaw or number on the scale. Additionally, I share bimonthly memos on instagram and newly on YouTube.

Outside the clinical world, I am a Meisner and Groundlings-trained actor, who has focused primarily on voice-over work, since becoming a momma many years ago. I have worked for Nickelodeon, Netflix, and Disney, and on many commercials, podcasts, and video games.

In my personal life I love being a wife and mom, playing board games, reading, doing yoga, painting, crocheting, swimming, journaling, meditating, socializing, taking long walks, and laughing! Feel free to follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/heres_the_memo/ and/or YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@AmyMargolis-LCSW or reach out to me on my website,https://amymargolislcsw.com, or email me directly at amy@heresthememo.com.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

1. Put yourself first daily. Get quiet and check in with what you feel, need want. Become a good inner-loving parent to yourself. When we love ourselves, know our value, and attend to our insides, our outsides will change.

2. Give others the dignity of their own choices. You don’t need anybody to change for you to be happy. You can’t save someone else, you don’t walk in their shoes and you don’t have their answers. Love, don’t fix, and set healthy boundaries for yourself.

3. Have integrity and humility. You are no better or worse than anyone else. Stop comparing and competing, run your own race, and show up in a way you can be proud of. Do what you say you are going to do, own when you are wrong, and take action on your own behalf even when you don’t feel like it. And remember we are only in charge of our actions, not our results.

Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?

When I feel overwhelmed — I do all I can to stop the spin, get quiet, self regulate and get back to my center and power.

We will all get triggered, flooded, and overwhelmed. Its part of being human. 88% of our brains are subconscious and we hold trauma and old beliefs that are running the show that we may not even be aware of.

When I am “in it” I love to take long walks, pray, listen to the Golden Key by Emmet Fox or one of the Greats who has gone before me… Norman Vincent Peale, Earl Nightengale, Napolean Hill. There is something very comforting about listening to this age-old wisdom from folks who made it through and have already passed.

I remind myself that I, too, will pass and that sometimes right sizes whatever it is I am freaking out about. I remember that the past is over and the future never comes, it is always right now. I also remember God gives us everything we need just to do this day ahead — fresh mercies every day, our daily bread. And I remember to live my life in day sized chunks!

Anything somatic like meditation, deep breathing, stretching and being out in nature really help. I love calling a friend and sharing it all, getting out of self and getting some levity around it. And journaling is one of my favorite tools! I will often dialogue with my little girl inside, my teenager, my younger adult self, and my me now. We all have many parts. When we can give them all a voice and let our adults (that 12% of us that is conscious) take the wheel this brings peace, strength and our next right action.

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