Meet Stephanie Ross

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Stephanie Ross. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Stephanie below.

Hi Stephanie, thank you for being such a positive, uplifting person. We’ve noticed that so many of the successful folks we’ve had the good fortune of connecting with have high levels of optimism and so we’d love to hear about your optimism and where you think it comes from.

Almost 9 years ago, I was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer, after a months-long journey to find out what was causing my symptoms. Pancreatic Cancer is tough to detect, due to the deep location of the organ in the abdomen, and the symptoms that can mimic so many other benign causes. I was told that I had, at best, two years to live.

At that moment, I decided that pursuing joy would be the main focus of the time I had left. My main goal was spending as much time with my son as possible, and every moment I have with him is truly a gift. Another dream I had was to be a mermaid.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

For most of my life, I was a regular person – mom, wife, teacher, medical assistant, living every day in my suburban routine. And then, almost ten years ago, I started having vague abdominal symptoms – nausea a few hours after eating, some mild discomfort in my upper abdomen.

Having recently relocated to southern Oregon, I didn’t have a primary care physician in place and had to rely on the various immediate care clinics that were on my basic health plan. No one took me seriously – I was 57 years old and was tested for every random ailment possible, and all those tests were normal. I was even told by one provider that if my abdomen hurt in a specific place when I pressed on it, then I shouldn’t press on it! I left that office in tears, frustrated that my symptoms weren’t considered worthy of more investigation when I KNEW something was off. I finally saw a new PCP several months later and she immediately sent me for an ultrasound that revealed a large tumor on the tail of my pancreas – right where I had told the previous provider that I had pain. More testing revealed cancer and I had surgery followed by 6 months of chemo. The moral of this part of the story: you know your body best, do NOT give up seeking answers when you feel something is wrong.

It was traumatic being treated for cancer, especially living in a new state, but the new friends I had made rallied around to help out, driving me to appointments, making meals and visiting. My non-local friends called, texted, FaceTimed and visited, keeping me busy and laughing with news of their lives. I am beyond grateful for their love and care, and I am fortunate to remain cancer-free almost 9 years later.

For the last several years, I have been living my dream as a mermaid – swimming, teaching, and participating in events locally in the PNW. Being a mermaid is something that I never thought I would be doing, as a 67 year-old pancreatic cancer survivor/thriver, but a cancer diagnosis has a way of rearranging priorities. Our recreational group, the Oregon Mers, partners with a local swimming pool to ‘decorate’ their events and we will be the main event at their Mermaid Tea Party this summer. Last year’s party was a huge hit, and the community is looking forward to seeing us again. I also teach SSI Mermaid Certification classes at our local scuba shop, a fun way to share my love of the sport.

My human job is also working at the community pool – as a receptionist, and as an Adaptive Swim Instructor. The adaptive classes are one-on-one with children with disabilities, and quite honestly my favorite part of the week. Teaching these kids is the most rewarding and fun work I have ever done.

The rest of the time, I spend volunteering – as the Survivor Outreach Chair for the Portland Affiliate of PanCan.org, co-facilitating the monthly Support Group online, as a member of the National Survivor Council, doing some Peer Support and participating in local events. Sometimes my schedule is hectic but I love being actively involved.

My favorite thing is hanging out with my amazing 28 year old son, Nicholas, and my small dog, Lily Rose. My heart is so full and grateful for the amazing life I lead.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

When my dad was in hospice a few years ago, he was slipping away bit by bit and only awake for short periods of time. At one point, he opened his eyes, pointed at me and said ‘perseverance’. I took this as a last bit of advice from my wise dad and have kept that thought close, helping me navigate some of the hurdles life has thrown at me. I can still hear his voice saying the word and it feels like he is giving me a little nudge.

Resilience also comes to mind as I think about my life. There have been so many challenges along the road, but I seem to keep bouncing back and I am proud of myself for not giving up. Resilience takes being flexible and not attached to a particular outcome, trusting that life will enfold and that I will be okay, even on my worst day. In my mermaid tail, I escape from reality for a little while and life seems brighter when I emerge from the water. Any day I can be in the water is a great day and it restores my spirit.

Gratitude and Hope are two things I think about every day. Pancreatic Cancer has a terrible survival rate (when I was diagnosed, the five-year survival rate was 7%). When I look at that, and the fact that I am still here living my best life almost 9 years from diagnosis, it’s impossible not to be grateful for every breath. Walking in nature – even if it’s just taking Lily Rose for a walk, grounds and centers me and reminds me to be present when I get distracted. Hope for the future can sometimes seem bleak in our world today, but hope for the future is essential to my wellbeing, and even a tiny bright spot is welcome.

When I was told that I had only two years to live, I was completely devastated. Angry at how long it took to get a diagnosis, I let myself flood with emotions for awhile. But I quickly realized that I had better not waste a second of that precious two years feeling sorry for myself. And so the advice I have is to imagine YOUR best life – then set out to make that happen now, in the present. It seems trite – the phrase ‘Living My Best Life’ is embroidered on pillows, printed on cards and signs. But being diagnosed with one of the most fatal cancers opened my eyes and took me out of surviving mode and put me into thriving mode. I guess the silver lining of cancer is facing my own mortality and saying NOT YET!

If you knew you only had a decade of life left, how would you spend that decade?

This question really hits home for me. As previously mentioned, I was told, almost 9 years ago, that I only had two years to live. My goal was to spend as much quality time with my son as possible and I made that a priority. He is my favorite person in the entire world and I love that I can spend so much time with him. He is incredibly thoughtful and caring, and he can make me laugh more than anyone else I know. (He will NOT let me share his picture here.)

I also decided that the bucket list had to happen immediately! From the time I was a little girl, watching Saturday morning cartoons, I was entranced by the commercials for Weeki Wachee State Park, and the graceful mermaids that swam in the crystal clear water. Lying in bed, recuperating from my weekly chemo treatments, I plotted my mermaid adventures and outfits in great detail – to pass the time and give myself something to look forward to. There’s that hope for the future again.

Once I regained my strength, I began the journey into the world of mermaid swimming. The most exciting part of that journey has been attending mermaid camp at Weeki Wachee. When I swim in that particular water, the water I imagined myself in for most of my life, I feel completely at home. I dream of that place so often and wake up in the morning happy for the visit, even if only in my sleep. Swimming with other mermaids, whether in a local pool or in natural environments, is where I find a joyful sense of peace. It’s so quiet underwater, the uncertainty of cancer slips away and I can relax. We are fortunate here in the PNW that we have a local pool that actually celebrates merfolk, and our pod is active, filled with wonderful people that I would never have known if it weren’t for this sport.

I also decided that since I was gifted with so much time after this devastating diagnosis, that I had to give back to the cancer community. My volunteer work lets me feel that my experience is useful and that I can bring hope to people newly diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Whatever time I have left on this planet, I want it to be spent with the people I love, doing what I love, every day. My wish for you is that you find your own joy, and follow your heart to make it reality.

Contact Info:

• Instagram:@srossmermaid
• Facebook: Stephanie Ross
• Other: Mermaid class info is available from Aquatic Sports and Scuba in Portland Oregon: www.aquaticsports.com.

Image Credits

Photos by Bella Michelle
Dans Beautiful World
Phlash Photo Art/Erin Walsh