Meet Tanise Anderson

We were lucky to catch up with Tanise Anderson recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Tanise, appreciate you sitting with us today to share your wisdom with our readers. So, let’s start with resilience – where do you get your resilience from?

I developed my resilience during my youth when I woke up in the NICU after a major surgery. I was disoriented, in an immense amount of pain and unable to walk. My body had hit reset, but my mind still remembered who I used to be. The shock of shifting from an athletic and passionate child who had recently performed in dance recitals and competed in soccer games, to someone who couldn’t even stand up without collapsing, is a feeling no amount of planning can prepare you for. The grief that came after taking what felt like my first baby steps all over again cut deeper than any scalpel ever could. I didn’t know that every step I took further away from my hospital bed came at a price.
As my physical body recovered, my heart mourned the girl I used to be and the future I thought she was going to have. I was no longer the fastest runner on the field or even someone who could handle a normal tackle during a game. I wasn’t even qualified to be a bench warmer. So what do you do, when you literally can’t do anything you used to do and your sense of identity and purpose is stripped from you? You do what you can and you work with what you have.
Even with thorough preparations for my surgery and my family’s unwavering support through the process, the road to recovery was a long one. I learned very quickly that the pain and discomfort I felt after my surgery was not something that would dissipate in a few weeks or even years. There was no going back. I had to live with the new me. Moving forward I grasped tightly to activities I had always deeply loved that did not require a lot of physical activity such as writing, reading and art. It brought me peace and comfort as I started to gain my footing in life. I was recovering well and I was hopeful for a happy future.
Unfortunately, shortly after my surgery, my life and home were turned upside down. Domestic violence and abuse had raided our home of any safety and happiness my mother and I had desperately tried to hold on to. As a result of the worsening abuse, I witnessed my mother lying on the floor bruised, bloody, and strangled almost to death with my father towering over her. In that moment I was terrified. My family unit was shattered, my physical health was shaky, and the future was full of challenges. I had no idea what to do, but I kept going.
My life continued to have its pitfalls when my father suddenly passed away. Now, I was carrying the indescribable weight that comes with grieving the loss of a parent. It was just my mother and I. We managed to survive all that life had thrown at us so far, but how do you move forward when your life feels like the middle of an apocalyptic horror movie? You do what you can and you work with what you have.
I learned from experience that real growth can be messy, complicated, frustrating and sometimes very lonely. Sometimes the most important action you can take are baby steps toward your goals. There was no instruction manual or even an organized collection of information to help me piece my life back together. My mother and I had to scavenge for the answers. No one should have to do that alone. That is why I used my passions for storytelling and art to help people like us know they are not alone, how to protect themselves from abuse, and how to keep going. We help arm them with the type of information that has the potential to save their lives and make their overall experience in life better. We also help people thrive in their business and work life so they are free to live a fulfilling and comfortable life. So whether it may be a life altering surgery, mourning the old version of yourself, breaking free from abuse, grieving the loss of a parent or completely starting over, our clients know they can successfully do it.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I am the Creative Director and a Graphic Designer at Connextion Works, LLC. I am able to use the lessons I learned from my experience as a survivor of childhood domestic violence and abuse to help teach those who are currently isolated, afraid, and unsure of their next steps for how to rebuild their lives in a beneficial way. I also help a broad variety of businesses grow and thrive by helping them discover their unique brand identity through storytelling, design and strategy.
The reason our business is special to me, is because we help people live a more fulfilling life by helping them discover what is possible after they make the decision to take control of their future. This is why we created the Speak Up & Get Out Community, that has turned into a Movement. We focus on how to identify, protect against, and survive abuse. It’s a free membership that is full of beneficial classes and courses that help you navigate and better understand abuse. This membership provides courses for women and men who want to know about different types of abuse and the red flags of abuse. We also created the Message Mogul’s Monthly Membership to promote the importance of financial security. This membership provides mentoring & courses with scripts, strategies, templates, tutorials, guides, etc… to help women navigate social media, so they can connect to their audience and develop a loyal and lucrative audience. There are so many people with the desire and ability to excel in their life and business, but they don’t have the proper tools and guidance to get them the results they need and want. The Speak Up & Get Out Movement and the Message Mogul’s Monthly Membership have the tools and guidance to not only heal, inform, and strengthen you, but they also help you become more knowledgeable and confident in your business.
I’ve spoken on stages such as Google in Silicon Valley and various conferences. I have also been featured on ABC to spread my message about surviving and thriving after the devastation of abuse.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

When my first steps after my surgery were the most painful and challenging steps I had ever taken, I truly understood that a positive and realistic perspective on my life was a huge necessity. Learning how to use my body almost from scratch was a terrifying, humbling, and memorable experience. It was not enough to simply get better physically; I also had to be hopeful, disciplined, and have mental fortitude. First, I decided I would not allow an unfortunate series of circumstances dictate my outlook on life. I have learned that as long as I hold onto hope for something better, my hope can make room for something better to come. In order to overcome adversity and grow into the person I am today, I had to think in a way that would allow me to become something better.
Second, in order to survive, heal, and grow beyond the damage of domestic violence and abuse, I relied on research and storytelling. I realized the less you know about abuse, the more vulnerable you are to the advances and attacks of abusers. Through research and storytelling, I not only better understood my experience, but I no longer felt scared, alone, and unheard. I armed myself with information. By telling my story and sharing ways to protect against abuse, I help other people who are afraid, uninformed, and defenseless to rebuild a better and safer future for themselves and their loved ones.
Third, I turned my passion for storytelling and art into a weapon against abuse. There are too many devastating stories of relationships with horrific outcomes where the mother, father, or children of the victim, say they wish they had known how dangerous domestic violence and abuse was and if they had known, their loved one may be here today. Hearing this again and again motivates me to continue my work by assembling classes and courses to help people. By informing women and men how they can protect against and recover from abuse, we can help prevent the trauma, heartache, and inevitable suffering that comes with abuse.
I’ve dedicated myself to this cause so that more people can identify the red flags, escape, heal, rebuild life after abuse and finally live a life deserving of them. My experiences in life have taught me a great many lessons. My journey from recovering from a life altering surgery and surviving years of domestic violence and abuse to having a thriving business and a better life had a plenty of ups and downs, but it was all worth it.
I am so grateful for the opportunity to tell my story so that other people going through similar hardships as I have experienced can see that it is possible to overcome what they are going through now. To the young person that may be reading this, keep going and don’t lose hope. Your story does not limit you; it is proof that you are a survivor. You don’t need to be ashamed. You can own your story and become a version of you that you love. There is more to life than the bad thing(s) that happened. My story is proof that you are not defeated, you don’t deserve to be mistreated and you can still look forward to a better future and have it.

Thanks so much for sharing all these insights with us today. Before we go, is there a book that’s played in important role in your development?

The book that has played an important role in continuing to help me keep a positive and realistic mindset is “The Energy Bus” by Jon Gordan. This book reinforced a lot of my personal beliefs that have been crucial to my development. Starting with the power of choice is a gift and everything starts to change when we claim it. Although life can sometimes be happy and peaceful, it can also be hectic, confusing and out of our control. In my experience some of the most important decisions I have made were during life’s unexpected twists and turns. I learned during the hardest times in my life, that I was able to alter the trajectory of my future with a simple decision. The book likes to say that you are the driver of your life and whatever direction you look towards is the direction you will go. It is so important to not only be mindful of your actions, but be deliberate about how you think and what you think about. It is so simple to lean into fear, doubt, and uncertainty when we know what we want, but not how to do it. Sometimes in order to reach your goal, you have to look past your current circumstance and focus on the future you wish to have. By doing this, I am able to compare my current circumstance with the future I desire to have. Then analyze the differences and start to grasp what actions are needed to reach my goal. This method helps me breakdown huge overwhelming changes into bite sized actions so I can achieve my goal.
Instead of feeling overwhelmed, discouraged, and frightened by a big challenge, I practice thinking positive and realistic thoughts. It takes courage to believe you can change your situation and even more courage to believe in yourself. This book helped me realize that sometimes life is not just what happens to you, but what you make of it. Even though we are not in control of everything that happens to us, we can still help ourselves by doing what we can. You are the driving force behind some of the most important moments in your life, so do your best to think clearly, focus on where you want to be and take action.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://connextionworks.com/home/
• Instagram: @Taniseanderson https://www.instagram.com/taniseanderson/#
• Facebook: Tanise Anderson https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100012349808178

Image Credits

For images 1-5, the credit belongs to Michelle D. For images 6-8, the credit belongs to Tamika Anderson.