Meet Ursula Brantley

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Ursula Brantley. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Ursula , we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?

I feel my resilience comes from years of trauma and other life experiences paired with the only option I had which was to keep going. It hasn’t been an easy road to travel. In all honesty, I will forever travel this path. Some days will always be better than others, but the journey of resilience will always be mine. I’ve gone through and lost a great deal, but the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with in life is the death of my son at the hands of his father while trying to be a present and functional mother for my daughter who is 14 months older than he is. My son was killed at 3 months old in 2008. We just celebrated his 17th birthday on March 3rd.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I am a freelance writer with bylines in various publications such as Essence, AFROPUNK, and SB Magazine. My story is one of resilience, to say the least, but I don’t have a brand or own a business at the moment. I’m a 39-year-old single mom from Shreveport, LA, who works a job like everyone else and freelances for publications on the side. My daughter turned 18 this past January, and she graduated high school yesterday. My son would have turned 17 back in March, but he was killed by his dad in 2008. I have a regular Monday-through-Friday job, which I enjoy, and I’m just trying to make it like everyone else. I have dreams of more for myself and my daughter.

Since I was young, words and writing have been a love of mine. I realized this love in the 6th grade. I’ve always been a kid who liked books, but in the 6th grade, there was a perfect storm of factors that caused me to see words and writing as more than just words and writing—if that makes sense. I went on to join my high school newspaper staff in my senior year. In 2012, my first article as a professional freelance writer was published on The League of Young Voters’ website, PolicyMic (now known as Mic.com). Life was a bit uncertain for me during that time. My son had only been gone four years, and it was a lot. I was working in a call center, just trying to learn how to be a person again. One day, I ran across PolicyMic, enjoyed their content, and saw that they accepted submissions. I submitted something, not fully expecting to hear anything back. To my surprise, I did hear back from them, and that started the beginning of my professional writing career. Since then, I have gone on to have bylines with various publications, as well as a large number of ghostwriting opportunities. I haven’t published my first book yet, but that is something I’ve been working on here and there for a long time now. I used to do public speaking engagements where I shared my story of surviving domestic violence and losing my son because of his abusive dad.

Losing my son is only the tip of the iceberg of life as I know it—but it’s a pretty large tip. My story is one of resilience and perseverance. There are so many reasons why I shouldn’t be here or why I shouldn’t be the person I am today—yet I am here. And I still have a heart and mind, though they may ache. I have faith that one day I will be able to use my words to create the life I dream of for me and my daughter. My dream would be to make a comfortable career out of writing and helping others. Until then, I’m thankful for the job and life that He’s blessed me with, and I’ll keep writing and keep trying.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

The three qualities that I believe have helped me throughout my journey are paying attention to things others don’t, being myself regardless of society, and learning to love myself for who I am. Growing up as the weird Black girl, being diagnosed with AuDHD later in life, and overcoming a ton of trauma has taught me a great deal about self-awareness. The three qualities I mentioned all fall under that umbrella. At first, I didn’t really know who I was or how I fit into this world. To be honest, I’m still figuring that out, but now I understand that my brain wasn’t even built for this world, and that’s made me more comfortable with who I am. If I could give one piece of advice to those just starting their journey, it would be this: never lose sight of your goals, and never lose sight of yourself. Life and people will throw curveballs at you constantly. There’s nothing wrong with taking a break to regroup, but quitting is never an option. It’s not just about the timing we place on ourselves it’s about the lessons we learn along the way, so we don’t have to keep repeating them.

What has been your biggest area of growth or improvement in the past 12 months?

I believe one of my biggest areas of growth has been learning how I fit into this world as an AuDHD Black woman. Being diagnosed later in life forced me to reevaluate everything and everyone in my life, including myself. Being neurodivergent means I’m wired differently than most people. Honestly, I believe there are more neurodivergent individuals out there than we realize, but many remain undiagnosed for various reasons. Some people in society, especially within the Black community, don’t believe in neurodivergence, but it’s real. I am neurodivergent. Regardless of how others feel, or how I may feel at times, I am AuDHD. I’m proud of who I am, and I know exactly who I am. Since our brains are wired differently, we see the world in ways others don’t—yet we still have to live in the same world as everyone else. My late diagnosis helped me learn to love myself more than I ever have in all my 39 years, and I’m thankful for that.

Contact Info:

Image Credits

The photos are pictures of me and my children. One photo is of the banner at the community event I organized in his honor and in honor of all those affected by domestic abuse and child abuse. There was no charge for the event or any of the activities. All food and games were donated or created, family and friends were volunteers. I haven’t been able to coordinate that event since due to finances, but prayerfully in the future this can become an annual thing. I tried to find some pictures of me at speaking engagements, but I couldn’t find any. I did find one picture of me after a Project Celebration DV conference.

Suggest a Story: BoldJourney is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems,
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
Resilience
Where does your optimism come from?

Optimism is the invisible ingredient that powers so much of the incredible progress in society

Confidence
Stories of Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Learning from one another is what BoldJourney is all about. Below, we’ve shared stories and

Resilience
The Power of Persistence: Overcoming Haters and Doubters

Having hates is an inevitable part of any bold journey – everyone who has made