We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Vivian Meraki a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Vivian, thank you so much for joining us and opening up about the very personal topic of divorce. So many in the community are going through or have gone through divorce and we think hearing about how others dealt with the aftermath and managed to build a vibrant, successful life and career despite the trauma of divorce can be helpful to many who might be feeling a degree of hopelessness. So, maybe you can talk to us about how you overcame divorce?
My divorce wasn’t a moment. It was a process. One that stretched over nearly four years. My co-parent and I even cohabited for more than two of those years, partly to reduce the impact of the transition on our children. We tried to do everything “right,” to be thoughtful and intentional. But when I finally moved out of our matrimonial home, our children were gripped with crippling anxiety.
That was the moment everything shifted for me. I threw myself into research – books, articles, podcasts – but nothing quite fit our situation. We tried therapy for the kids, which helped, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that 50 minutes a week wasn’t enough. I wanted to know: what could I do in the rest of the week to help them feel safe again?
So I turned to what I knew as a somatic coach. I began applying my own trauma-informed practices in our daily life – rituals, conversations, moments of repair – and slowly, things began to change. When I heard their belly laughs again, I knew we had turned a corner. They came back to life. Their confidence returned. Our bond grew stronger than ever. And I realized: this wasn’t just healing. It was a blueprint.
That experience didn’t just help me move through divorce – it revealed a gap in support for parents everywhere. That’s what inspired me to write my book and create the work I do now: helping parents rebuild their confidence, strengthen connection, and raise emotionally secure children… especially during an incredibly difficult season.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
My work is rooted in a simple but powerful belief: when we help parents heal, we change generations.
I’m a trauma-informed parenting coach, somatic practitioner, and human connection speaker. I help parents and leaders navigating divorce or major life transitions reconnect with their power, rebuild confidence, and create unshakable bonds with their children and with themselves.
After years in corporate leadership – including with the United Nations in Afghanistan and pioneering health-tech companies – I reached a point of profound burnout. I realized I’d been living as a side character in my own life. That wake-up call pushed me to step out of survival mode and leave both a career and a marriage that no longer aligned.
That chapter changed everything. I saw firsthand the emotional gaps in support for parents going through divorce. I also discovered that the most powerful parenting tool wasn’t a set of strategies, it was the parent themselves. Their presence. Their self-trust. Their capacity to regulate.
Now, through my coaching program (Unshakable Parenting), my book (Parenting Through Divorce: The 3 Keys to Building Unshakable Bonds With Your Children), and my speaking work, I support parents and leaders to finally care for themselves in a way that models resilience, emotional awareness, and self-worth to their children and teams.
The most exciting part of my work? Seeing the ripple effect. Watching a parent shift from conditioned anxiety to grounded self-trust. Hearing them say, “You changed not only my life, but the lives of my children, and their children, for generations to come.” That’s the real work. And I’m honored to walk beside people as they do it.
Right now, I’m preparing for future stages and launching a series of parent-focused retreats – spaces where I’ll be joined by other experts to offer deeply supportive, embodied experiences for parents and their children. Spaces where we can slow down, reconnect, and co-regulate together.
This is more than parenting support.
It’s identity work.
It’s nervous system work.
It’s the quiet movement of raising emotionally secure humans… by becoming one.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Divorce is one of those life chapters that reshapes everything: your identity, your relationships, your sense of home. Looking back, there were a few quiet choices that made all the difference.
1. Extend compassion and grace, if possible.
One of the most impactful choices I made was to give my co-parent compassion and grace for how the divorce was impacting him. It wasn’t always easy, but that mindset laid the foundation for a more respectful, amicable co-parenting relationship in the years that followed. Divorce is painful. There’s grief and an instinct to protect and defend on both sides – but we don’t have to deepen the harm. What helped me navigate the harder conversations with more humanity was staying anchored in what mattered most: creating stability for our children and building a future where they could feel safe and loved in both homes.
2. Courage to honour yourself
For a long time, I believed that being a good mom meant putting myself last. That self-sacrifice was part of the role. I thought love looked like saying yes to everything, holding it all together, and never asking for what I needed. But it wasn’t sustainable. Not in marriage, and certainly not in divorce. I came to see that a lasting future required me to hold my own needs with the same care I gave everyone else. Honouring those needs wasn’t a threat to peace – it was what made peace possible.
3. Confidence to trust your own voice
In the beginning, I didn’t tell many people what I was going through. I feared judgment, and honestly, I wasn’t sure how to talk about it. When I finally began to open up, the responses were mixed. Some people quietly stepped back. But others showed up with unwavering support – and that mattered. What I’ve learned is that support doesn’t always come from where you expect, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask. Trust yourself. You know what you need. Advocate for yourself the same way you’d advocate for your child.
The truth is, there’s no perfect path through divorce. But if you can root into your values, stay connected to your integrity, and trust your inner voice, you’ll find your way forward. And it will be a life you can live in fully.
Tell us what your ideal client would be like?
The parents who find me are often the ones lying awake at night, worried that the divorce is damaging their child in ways they can’t undo. They’re doing their best, but they feel lost, like no one prepared them for how much grief, guilt, and fear would be wrapped up in trying to co-parent well while also holding themselves together.
Many of them feel like they’re losing everything, including themselves. But they are also committed to learning about themselves and doing the work to find the person and the parent they truly want to be in that space.
My ideal client is someone who cares deeply. They’re not looking for perfection; they just want to protect their connection with their child. They’ve either been pitted against their co-parent or feel the emotional weight of trying to “do it all right.” They want to prioritize their children’s emotional well-being. They want to co-parent with grace, or at least neutrality, if that’s possible. They’re not wanting to tear anyone down, but to build something new: something steady, something sacred.
What I offer isn’t quick-fix advice. I offer a space of deep emotional and psychological safety, where we work with the body and the nervous system to build real tools for resilience, calm, and connection. It’s not always easy, but it’s transformative. I’ve had clients tell me that our work changed their lives and their children’s lives. That it gave them back hope and gave their children a parent who could truly see and hold them, even in the hardest moments.
These parents are willing to do the inner work – not just for their kids, but for their own healing. If that’s the journey someone wants to be on, then they’re the kind of person I’m here for.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.vivianmeraki.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vivianmeraki
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vivianmeraki/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@vivianmeraki
Image Credits
Darius Bashar
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