Meet K. J. Harrowick

We were lucky to catch up with K. J. Harrowick recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi K. J. , appreciate you sitting with us today to share your wisdom with our readers. So, let’s start with resilience – where do you get your resilience from?

I exist, that idea has always been constant. But from the time I was a child, everything about me, my looks, my ideas, and decisions were nit-picked and judged and fell into one of two piles: it was wrong according to archaic ideas and an invisible world view, or I was a rebel. Over the years that constant chipping away at my sense of self nearly cost me to lose the core of who I am. I was hanging on for dear life until I began safeguarding that core, accepting myself as-is, and exploring ideas I was once shamed for. Once I understood that I was protecting the ‘me’ that came with this body, my ‘self’ became safety. That was really when I learned to deal with life’s storms and the universe’s bullshit. The constant irritations, the curve balls, just life’s endless parade of nonsense… once I learned to love and accept and protect myself, it brought about a clarity and resilience to learn how to seek peace, beauty in nature, the love of friends and family, and of course dragons parading around on starships.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

Oh boy, where do I begin.

When I was a kid, I used to curl up with a fantasy or science fiction book in a tiny local library with a wall of horrendous orange couches. I loved them! As I grew older and settled into myself, I rediscovered that passion (for the books, not the scathing orange couches) and began building entire planets and ecosystems. I’m now an author, continuing to explore grimdark worlds, derelict starships, and how trauma inspires fiction and writing to heal.

When I went to college the second time (long story), I was exhausted with getting shoved into the same ‘you’re a girl, answer the phones’ type roles. I also had the voice of my father in my ear saying that real, distinguished women don’t wear jeans to work. So I showed those sexist ideas my bird collection and started learning code, building websites, and twenty years later I’m a freelance web developer and graphic designer with both independent project and corporate experience. My favorite projects though are helping indie authors navigate the nuances of the digital world and bridge the gap of corporate, marketable design standards in an indie space.

Through all of this, one of the things that lingered in the back of my thoughts is this idea across social media that ‘if you’re not fighting my fight, you’re against me.’ There are thousands of wars going on in the world, and I have a particular passion for victims of domestic violence and single mothers–because I’ve been both. That’s where I always wanted to help, and so with my co-founder Kasey Rogers, and chaos coordinator Justine Manzano, we formed the I Know Why She Stayed Initiative, to help victims and survivors of financial abuse get access to the tools and resources they need to escape violent relationships.

99% of women who experience domestic abuse are also financially abused. They’re prohibited from money, assets, and sometimes jobs, cutting them off from basic needs like food and shelter and forcing them to stay in relationships with abusers, which leads to the invisible woman, violent attacks, and often murder. It’s a horrible statistic, and when you begin hearing personal stories of violence, and speaking about your own violent past, it raises a lot of questions about why so many people are afraid of a healthy, independent woman with a bank account.

So that’s what I do–I write fantasy and science fiction books for pleasure, educational and non-fiction books and resources for I Know Why She Stayed, and build websites and design graphics to put food on the table. But for myself… I raise chickens and ducks on a cattle farm because nature is healing, animals are healing, and every day they give me something to smile about.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

I have a lot of skills I’ve accrued over the years, but there are a few I’m most proud of:

I’m an empath, which means there are days I can speak with someone and sense that they need more than conversation. They need someone to listen, not speak. Or they just need someone to tell them they’re not crazy, they are absolutely more than enough. Social media has given the world a great tool for communication, but sometimes we have to stop and listen too. To ourselves, to nature, to the silence.

I have a lot of decades of experience in the digital space as far as websites, blogs, marketing, and graphic design. Many companies like to see folks target one and become skilled just in that space. They’re all connected just like an ecosystem, and so it’s good to learn broadly, bridge gaps, and spot those niche spaces nobody’s exploring (yet) and become the invaluable expert in that space.

I’m a salsa aficionado. Okay, this might require a story. I was raised in a small farm community with multiple cultures interconnected. My second mother was South American Portugese and taught me as a child to make salsa from scratch using the veggies in her garden. Since my family loved taco night, we would always buy fresh vegetables and make salsa at home. Over the years, each of us found parts of the flavor we loved and continued to try variations and hone the taste. We’d combine our flavor with other family members and as we moved state to state later on, would also lean into local flavors to find that perfect batch. We are now teaching this to the third generation in our family, and it’s a recipe that’s been passed down orally, never written in a recipe book. One day, I plan to write that recipe book, but I also love that this recipe is part of my heritage.

The advice I have for others: no matter where you are in your journey, keep learning. Find the things that bring you joy, and learn broadly. Yes I can put colors together with a color theory wheel, or take a messy website and clean it up into performing art, but I can also fire up a chainsaw, build a chicken hutch, ride horses to wrangle cattle, and speak sarcasm like a second language. Build the skills you want to know, and bridge them together to be a versatile force.

Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?

The Eyes of Light and Darkness by Ivan Cat

This science fiction thriller had a profound impact on me. Not only did it shape the kind of stories I want to tell, but it dives deep into the rich culture of alien species, combining a Mayan adjacent fuzzie lore with deep space and how life tends to be cyclical. What I learned from this story is that there are universal constants like life and family, that help breed a true universal language.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://kjharrowick.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kjharrowick/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/k-j-harrowick-3798495/
• Twitter: https://x.com/kjharrowick/
• Other: I’m more often on BlueSky these days: https://bsky.app/profile/kjharrowick.bsky.social

Image Credits

All photos credit is K. J. Harrowick, but it’s not necessary to add it.