Meet Wanju Kellams

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Wanju Kellams. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Wanju below.

Hi Wanju, thanks for sitting with us today to chat about topics that are relevant to so many. One of those topics is communication skills, because we live in an age where our ability to communicate effectively can be like a superpower. Can you share how you developed your ability to communicate well?

The seed of communication was planted early on, when I was diagnosed with severe and profound hearing loss as a baby. My parents sacrificed a lot to give me opportunities and resources, by moving to the US with me as a toddler. With speech therapy and hearing aids (later on, a cochlear implant) I was able to speak pretty clearly. A lot of people would tell me I speak well, and that they couldn’t tell unless I misheard what they said and replied differently. Still, I grew up feeling misunderstood and struggled a lot in large groups where I couldn’t communicate with everyone. I’d withdraw from the conversation and people watch instead. Communicating one-on-one was easiest because I could better focus on the other person without crosstalk.

Over the years, I slowly learned to ask for clarification, when I didn’t understand what the speaker said or wanted to make sure I heard correctly. It took a lot of courage to ask, “I’m sorry, could you repeat that again?” Listening is an integral aspect of communication – and me being handicapped in hearing increased importance in advocating for myself in conversations.

Getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes later on in elementary school made communication even more necessary. What if I had a low blood sugar and nobody knew about it? I had to learn that it is ok to communicate my needs to my peers and teachers for health reasons. That was a hard lesson for teenage me – not easy to admit I needed help (and that it’s ok)!

Majoring in English and Communications in university also added to my abilities – understanding the nuances of saying something with certain words can make a huge difference. Like, a warm “Hello! How are you?” versus a neutral “Hi.” vs a cold “Hmmph.” Plus, there are also nonverbal ways of communication – we communicate through facial expressions, how we dress ourselves, how we present our attitude, and so on.

All that to say, my life experiences and academic learnings combined make my communication ability very comprehensive. I’m still learning though, especially in group situations and with people from different cultures because they communicate differently and that’s a learning experience.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

I’ve been massaging for the last 4.5 years and I plan to continue to do so for as long as I can. What’s been exciting so far is the variety of bodywork that can be used to give effective and appreciated bodywork. I recently added bars above my massage table so I can do Ashiatsu, or walk on people using my feet for deeper and slow pressure. This bodywork is less stress on my body and I can deliver deeper pressure therapeutically for clients who have tightly bound muscles. Talking with clients who’ve let me practice is great feedback and I appreciate everyone who comes through and explore what helps them out towards a life of wellness.

It’s been so fulfilling to work with people who are eager to learn how to take care of their bodies by getting bodywork and communicating with me how they’ve felt or what’s changed since the last time I saw them. Communication drives a lot of what I do, from greeting them, making sure they are comfortable and heard, and during the massage in giving effective and much needed massage. Even the vibes of my studio space communicates warmth, calmness, and expresses a space for people to rest and take ease in the moment. Effective and comfortable communication bolsters the relationships I build with them as they continue to see me – the longer I see them makes communication increasingly smooth as trust is built. The amount of care and effort grows as we work together to cultivate wellness.

What’s upcoming up is continuing to expand my tool box with more in-depth Ashiatsu and Sarga techniques as I do more barefoot bodywork and have fun combining that with what I already do! Customizing the massage sessions is integral in meeting the need each time somebody comes in and talk about what’s going on with their body or life. In a way, I don’t do cookie cutter massages because I strive to listen to what the request is and match it with a blend of massage that aims to help them feel better after.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

It’s been a journey (and still is) since childhood and going through the physical and mental struggles of being deaf and managing an autoimmune disease with no cure yet developed. My heart goes out to everyone in the world who’s dealing with illnesses and physical ailments. The top 3 qualities that were most impactful in my journey have been:

1. UNDERSTANDING – take the time to understand yourself. If you don’t, it’s hard to communicate your needs if you don’t know yourself. Extend this understanding to other people too, because they’re also learning to communicate clearly. We’re all coming from different backgrounds, nationalities, and cultures. It means so much to be understood, as much or as little as we can communicate. An acknowledging nod. Saying “I get you” means a lot.

2. KINDNESS – remember to listen to your body and be kind to it. Be kind to yourself. You in your body are capable of so much when you are reconciled to what you can do within your body. Even with deafness and diabetes, I appreciate that I can still enjoy a lot of things in life because I am alive and here for it, and have taken steps to manage both well.

3. COURAGE – baby steps forward add up! I made a lot of mistakes and felt afraid to not try again. Sometimes I’d say something that I could’ve worded differently, and I take the scary step to reach out and clarify. Don’t be afraid to try again and learn from it. Good things take steady practice over time.

Thank you for listening and having a platform for my story to be told and shared, in the collection of stories your team has gathered. I hope this helps encourages people to keep pursuing their dreams and not let doubt and fears get in the way. That they can communicate what they want to do in a clear manner and be understood in kind.

I try to carry these qualities in my practice, for people to feel safe in their bodies and be comfortable to communicate how they feel while on their journey of life.

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?

In this current day and age, there’s so much going on that it’s overwhelming. Something that I do for myself is taking deep long breaths, like box breathing, to remind myself in the moment that I’m here and now, not in my mind overthinking. It helps a lot to remember my body – it’s great at reminding you to take a break. If you feel sleepy, go rest. A quick nap, moving up and around, stretching, grabbing a weighted blanket – adding a different sensory feedback can break the stress cycle. Taking walks and appreciating the beauty of nature also helps a lot – for me, it’s the sounds of the sea coupled with the feeling of warm sand and the soft breeze blowing. Getting a massage that’s more focused on relaxation helps, because touch can be healing and calming.

Related to communication, I also like to talk with a few loved and trusted ones who can listen as I wind down from the stress. Having some support buddies is super helpful, as a verbal processor. Healthy communication and listening are key and understanding you aren’t alone in this world.

I also remember and talk to God too, because He has said to cast all your anxieties unto Him (1 Pet. 5:7), and the peace of God will guard our hearts in Christ Jesus (Phil. 4:7). We’re all learning how to interact with each other, and sometimes say something that doesn’t reach us. In my experience, God has spoken some soft and healing words behind the scenes when I’ve struggled. Just as it is with people, it takes steady practice to communicate with God. The coolest thing is that He is near to us, ready to comfort us.

Overall, I recommend having a collection of self care that help support your body to calm down in its senses, your mind to let go of anxiety, and your spirit to be free in God.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://kellamsmassages.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kellamsmassage
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kellamsmassages

Image Credits

Ashley Marie Photography