Meet Carrie Newberry

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Carrie Newberry. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Carrie below.

Carrie, we are so appreciative of you taking the time to open up about the extremely important, albeit personal, topic of mental health. Can you talk to us about your journey and how you were able to overcome the challenges related to mental issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.

When I was seven, I was diagnosed with depression. As an adult, I now know that anxiety was a huge part of the picture, too, but back then, depression was the one the doctors saw. I suffered from massive mood swings and didn’t have the vocabulary to express what I was feeling. I was scared, lost, and not particularly fun to be around. My family did the best they could to support me, but none of us knew what to do with a kid who wanted to kill herself.

Consequently, I spent a lot of time alone in my room. It was easier to just feel whatever I was feeling if I didn’t have to try to explain it or give reasons for it. Some of that time was spent curled up in a ball. But much of that time, I spent pretending.
Playing pretend, imagining myself as someone else, somewhere else, with friends and a couple of dogs and a problem that only I could solve, gave me an escape from the tortures of my mind. My mom used to say that if she could hear me talking to myself, then she knew I was okay. And it was true, because I wasn’t really talking to myself. I was talking to the imaginary allies who lived in my head, who helped me feel strong and able and secure.

It’s one thing to escape from your problems into your imagination when you’re a child. It’s encouraged, even, if you’re lucky. But once you hit the age of, say, forty-eight? It’s a little less socially acceptable to have imaginary friends. I wasn’t going to give up on my greatest coping mechanism, though, so I turned it into a career.

I’m a writer.

Now, when I’m feeling despair, or in the middle of a panic attack or a PTSD-triggered No Good, Very Bad Day, I find my imaginary friends in my fiction. I’ve published the first three books in a fantasy series. The third one, When the Fur Hits the Fan, Duck, just came out. I’m also working on two other books, unrelated to the series, so no matter who I’m in the mood to visit today, I have options. And I also get to help other writers realize their dreams, as a faculty member at AllWriters Workplace and Workshop, an international writing studio based right here in Wisconsin.

I don’t talk to myself so much anymore. I use my laptop to escape my pain and visit my fictional friends. But the idea is the same. Playing pretend saved me and turned me into someone who can not only withstand the storm, but also see the beauty in the rain.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

I’m many things. My day job is as a dog groomer. Specifically, a bather. I’ve worked at the same grooming shop for the past twenty years. I do some hair cutting, but mostly, I spend my day bathing. It’s hard, sweaty, messy work, but I love it. I was working as a groomer while I was going to college part time for creative writing, but then I ran into a required class only offered at a time that conflicted with our business hours. I realized that what I wanted wasn’t a college degree, I wanted to stay at the job I loved and write in my free time. Do I wish sometimes that I had that degree? Sure. But after I left school, I finished my first book. A few years later, that book, Pick Your Teeth with My Bones, was accepted for publication on its first submission. I didn’t need a degree to do that. I just needed to follow my heart.

When I first started writing, I wasn’t writing fantasy. I was trying to write general fiction. The problem was, I never got much more than a few paragraphs done on a story before getting stuck or bored. I tried to brainstorm, I tried to outline, but nothing was working. Then, I went to see the Fellowship of the Ring in the movie theater. Within moments, I was sucked into the story, and I felt like all my nerve endings were electrified. As much as I enjoyed the movie, I wanted more than anything to go home and write. That movie blew my mind and showed me who I am — a fantasy writer.

I love to write what’s referred to as urban fantasy or magical realism, depending on who you ask. It’s fantasy that’s rooted in our world, rather than some made-up world that I created. It’s the idea that magic exists right alongside us, and if you just look hard enough, if you just open yourself up to it, you can discover hidden worlds in your own neighborhood.

As I was finishing up my first book, I happened to go to a reading by another author, Kathie Giorgio. She mentioned that she ran a writing studio. I never heard of such a thing. I asked her about it afterward, and she said, here, come check us out. It turns out that AllWriters’ Workplace and Workshop offers writing workshops, one-on-one coaching services, and a huge variety of other classes for writers to enjoy. I was immediately hooked. I joined a weekly book-writing workshop, which helped me get my book in tip-top condition, and then worked in coaching with Kathie to get it out to publishers. When Kathie needed someone to take over one of the weekly book-writing workshops, she offered me the position. I couldn’t believe it! I didn’t even have a degree, and here I was, teaching. I still can’t believe it, to be honest. There are still times where my imposter syndrome gets triggered. But when it does, I hunker down and hope that no one decides I don’t belong in this job. I love the work. I love helping writers resolve questions about their work. I love encouraging them and problem-solving with them. I even love proofreading! AllWriters’ is my community, my chosen family. We support each other and cheer one another on.

It’s not all roses and sunshine. I have depression and anxiety, and I struggle sometimes to get out of bed, much less be creative. I’m going through a period of that right now. But when I do push myself out of bed, when I am able to write even just a few words, my spirit comes alive again.

And sometimes, writing fiction helps me work through some of those struggles. Last month, my third book came out. No spoilers, but in it, I explore some themes of mental health. It was hard to write, but also very healing. And, well, I’m officially the author of a series now. It doesn’t seem real, and it probably won’t for a while. But I’m working on planning a launch, that will help it feel real, and on August 9, I have a meet-and-greet at a local bookstore, Literatus & Co. This will be my first time being out in public with the new book. Every step of this journey is a dream come true. Even the messy steps, because I got through those, and I’ll get through the next ones, too.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

1) Intuition. I listened to myself when something didn’t fit, like writing something I wasn’t passionate about, and when something did fit, like dropping out of college to pursue my own writing.

2) Listening. One of the things that makes me an effective teacher is I listen to my students, and I don’t let my ego get in the way of working with them on their writing. Their writing isn’t mine, it’s theirs, and my job is to help them make their writing the best it can be.

3) Perseverance. The thing about being an author is, you’re required to promote your work. You have to go to as many places as you can, talk to as many people as you can. As someone with social anxiety as well as a whole lot of general anxiety, this is a tough, tough thing. Sometimes, I get overwhelmed. But I don’t give up. Well, okay, sometimes, I give up for a little while. But then I get back at it. I don’t ever give up for good. That has kept me putting one foot in front of the other, taking it one breath at a time, and here I am, promoting my third book.

If you’re early on in your journey, my advice for you is to seek out the things that make you feel good. Not the things that feel easy, but the ones that feel good. What makes you feel alive? What makes you feel like you just can’t sit still, because you have to get back to this thing that you love? That’s your intuition, telling you the path you should follow. Listen to it, and never, never give up for good. It’s okay to say, “This is too much right now.” It’s okay to take a minute, go for a walk, breathe, pet your cat or dog or hamster, water your plants. But then come back. Always, always come back to it. Remember, this is your journey, and you can take it at your pace. But if you don’t keep moving forward, even a little bit at a time, nobody else is going to walk that path for you. It’s yours, and you can do it.

Before we go, maybe you can tell us a bit about your parents and what you feel was the most impactful thing they did for you?

My parents always let me be me. They always said, and in fact, they still say, “We just want you to be happy.” That’s an amazing thing. I’ve always been a little odd. I don’t dress like I should, I talk very slowly, it takes me a long time to think things through. I’m the definition of socially awkward. But my mom and dad let me be. They don’t try to force me to talk to them if I need to be quiet. They don’t try to make me go faster or dress in fancy clothes. In fact, my mom helps me grow my t-shirt collection by finding fun and funky t-shirts for me. But most importantly, when I told them I was leaving college and why, they said, “Carrie, we love you. We just want you to be happy.” They tell me that, and I know they mean it. They’re proud of me for finding a career I love and working hard at it, even though it’ll never make me rich or famous. It makes me happy, and I’m able to see how hugely important that is, because of my parents.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://carrienewberry.com
• Instagram: @carrie_newberry_author
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carrie.newberry.5

Image Credits

Jen Sannes Photography