We were lucky to catch up with Tessa Karrys recently and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Tessa, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?
Developing confidence and self-esteem feels like lifelong work, but it’s work that I am incredibly grateful to have done (and continue to do). After experiencing abuse as a child, confidence and self-esteem did not come naturally for me. My lack of confidence, self-esteem, and a deep need to be seen and heard played a role in me choosing a path as a songwriter and performer. This path is what has brought me the most growth and healing in these areas as well.
By nature, art is subjective, but it can still be challenging to share something that feels so “you” and receive critiques or even indifference. Sharing original songs was like trial by fire. Before long, it became clear that basing my confidence and self-esteem on the opinions of others, whether negative or positive, was an incredibly unstable foundation, not mention draining. There were times I pulled back from writing and performing, but it always felt like a part of me was missing. Music was too important to me to consider leaving it behind, and even writing without performing left me feeling incomplete. This pushed me to do the slow and steady work of building a solid foundation of confidence and self-esteem within myself.
Over the years, I found that what helped the most in having confidence and self-esteem was putting myself out there with authenticity and vulnerability. In music, there is always going to be another artist who is more popular, more talented, etc., but I practiced admiring and being inspired by the gifts in other musicians instead of wishing I were more like them. I could never be someone else, but also no one could ever be me. I began to realize that a lot of my insecurity or doubt came when I held back, stayed small, or didn’t just give it my all. When I put my whole self into a song or a performance, there are no regrets. If I am true to myself and do my best for that given moment, it doesn’t seem to matter as much if certain people don’t vibe to my music, if my humor doesn’t land, or if I make some mistakes. I value people who show and embrace their humanness, who in accepting their own mistakes and flaws give others permission to do the same. I value being wholehearted and real and sharing our souls with the people around us. Music has taught me this. When I remember that, then my job is just to be me, and my confidence and self-esteem come from somewhere solid and deep within myself.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I am a singer-songwriter and performer, and over the last year have taken steps to professionally bring together all of my areas of passion and knowledge in starting my own LLC. Stories and Songs LLC was created with the vision to share my experience and knowledge as a songwriter, performing artist, music & arts educator, and social worker through a variety of services with the community around me.
While songwriting and playing music have always felt inseparable from who I am as a person, my goals as a musician rarely included life on the road or fame. I had dreams of joining the Peace Corps and graduated with a Bachelors of Interdisciplinary Studies in Family & Human Development and Religious Studies in order to prepare me for working with people across various cultures. After college, while growing as a performing artist, I worked in an after-school program for underserved children, worked with youth in Cambodia as part of an NGO, worked as a caseworker for teens in the Arizona foster care system and/or receiving behavioral health services transitioning to adulthood, created/taught “healthy expression through music” workshops in schools and organizations providing behavioral health services to teens, and worked for Carnegie Hall’s “Lullaby Project” helping a postpartum mom bond with her baby and support her own wellness through writing an original lullaby.
All of these experiences, including becoming a mother myself, have led me to what I am now creating professionally. Motherhood encouraged me to look back at all of these experiences and find exactly what it is that I’m passionate about, exactly what lights that excited fire within me. With young children of my own, it felt like an obvious choice to begin teaching children’s art and music classes. What I didn’t expect was how much joy it would bring me and how much I would love expressing my creativity in this way. This also led me to complete the necessary training and education to become a Certified Autism Specialist. With this certification, I’m excited to better serve and teach neurodiverse individuals who can especially benefit from an environment where they can discover and foster their own unique creativity.
I know first-hand the healing power of expressing our own creativity. I know the power of finding and sharing what makes us feel truly seen. I know how valuable it is to be able to draw upon a foundation of healthy creative outlets throughout the highs and lows of life. I want to share this and more with people of all ages in my community.
Stories and Songs LLC services currently include:
• Pre-K Storytime, Art & Music Classes
• Pre-K / Elementary Story, Art & Music Camps
• Storytime & Music Class Homeschool Services
• Individual Piano, Guitar & Voice Lessons
• Individual Story, Art & Music Sessions for Children with Autism
• Parent & Child Bonding and Wellness through Music
• Maternal Wellness through Music Workshops
• Healthy Expression through Music Workshops for Youth
• Live Performances
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Three qualities that have been most impactful in my journey are innovation, persistence, and a solid sense of self.
Not only is being innovative useful, but it’s fun! I’ve often had a sense of knowing what I want the end result to be but not knowing how to get there. Being innovative helps me approach this like uncovering a map, following bread crumbs, or just having a heightened awareness of the possibilities around me. I can view hurdles as detours rather than deterrents. I can be open to my next steps being shaped by the connections I make and the things I learn along the way. While the end result is important, this approach makes the path itself just as rewarding, if not more so. I’ve always found the scenic route worth the trip.
For me, persistence looks like putting one foot in front of the other, whether it’s at a snail’s pace or a full sprint. Sometimes, I’m moving forward with a particular goal in mind and other times it’s just making time to write for the first time in what feels like forever. When I was younger, persistence felt like racing against a clock, like there was so much to do. Now, it feels more like chipping away at a mountain to create the monument underneath. I know that this path will be my entire life and I will keep working at it intentionally, even if that starts to look different as the years go on. I think there is a natural momentum that happens when persistence is paired with passion, though. It doesn’t feel so much like “work” when it is something you love filling your free time with anyway.
It takes time and practice to develop a strong sense of self and an understanding of who you are at your core; what’s most important to me, what do I value, what brings me the feeling of “flow”, what brings me joy or excites me? This year more than ever, I have looked back and really narrowed down exactly what it is that I love and that inspires me. I’ve reviewed my most rewarding professional experiences to find exactly what it was about a particular time that gave me a feeling of “I was meant to do this”. I LOVE that feeling. I live for that feeling. The things that I value the most and that bring me the deepest sense of purpose are unchanging. While they’ve always been there, identifying them allows me to create goals and pursue opportunities that align with what is most important to me. The more I practice connecting with this part of myself, the easier and more familiar it becomes; and the more I create a career and life that feels meant for me.
My advice to musicians just starting on their journey would be to find their “why”. Whether it’s “why did I say yes to this particular opportunity?”, “why did I write this song?” or “why did I choose this path?”, it’s helpful to be able to connect with something important to you and get in touch with your motivation. As you experience opportunities or roadblocks, praise or criticism, connecting with something personal to you in this way can provide some much needed clarity, stability, and resilience. Trust yourself, your creativity, and the process.
Who has been most helpful in helping you overcome challenges or build and develop the essential skills, qualities or knowledge you needed to be successful?
When I think of the person who taught me the most about overcoming challenges and helped me develop the skills necessary for success, it’s without a doubt my mom. She taught me many things directly, but so much of what I learned from her came from just witnessing her live her life. I was her fourth and last child and she became a single mom while she was pregnant with me. She was always an artist through and through, and enrolled in a graphic design program in 1990 while pregnant with me in order to learn a trade to support herself and her children. She went into labor with me just before finals week and the end of the program, but always told me with a smile “you were my final exam”.
After I was born, she proceeded to move all of us across the country to live with my grandparents and start her own business. She grew and ran her business from home my entire childhood so that she could be with us kids. I saw how challenging this was and all the stress she carried with her, but I also saw how innovative and creative she was to make this work for our family. She traded graphic design work so we could have orthodontic work or go to summer camp. She worked on her computer through the night so she could be the one to put us to sleep and be there when we woke up. She mastered the newest computer programs and taught herself web design as the graphic design field became almost entirely digital.
She had the unique ability to see what made someone special, to see what set them apart. As I got older, she saw what made me happiest and taught me how to find creative ways to go after what I wanted. She taught me how to use my voice, ask for opportunities, apply for scholarships, identify my skills, and offer work in exchange for gaining knowledge and/or experience. I was lucky to be raised and influenced by someone who saw and honored that music was at the core of what made me “me”. By watching her, I learned that it’s possible to identify what is most important to me and build a career and life around that, instead of changing myself to fit a career or lifestyle.
My mom passed away in 2020 from cancer and even after death she continues to be one of my greatest influences. Every day, I miss not having the person who was most proud of me, the person who celebrated my accomplishments like they were her own, the person who saw (and helped remind me of) who I was at my core, the person who would tell me repeatedly “as soon as you’re ready to play gigs again, let me know and I’ll hold the baby while you play!” I will always feel her absence, but it felt like I would be dishonoring her memory to leave these roles unfilled. With her example, I can become the person who is most proud of me, the person who knows who I am and is confident in what sets me apart and what I bring to the table. I can be the person who believes in myself like she did, pursues opportunities that excite me, and gets creative in making it happen. After everything I saw her work for and go through, it feels like going backwards if I were to make myself small and hold myself back from being successful. I don’t know exactly what “success” looks like at this point, but I feel inspired and excited to keep expanding Stories and Songs LLC and continue making music. Though, getting to continue to do what I love feels like success in itself already.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.tessakarrys.com
- Instagram: www.instagram.com/tkarrys
- Facebook: www.facebook.com/tessakarrys
- Youtube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCLldUHE6eT9e927eyDZ3anw
- Other: Stories and Songs LLC: www.tessakarrys.com/teaching
Bandcamp: tessakarrys.bandcamp.com/album/begin
Image Credits
Austin Peters Danny Upshaw / unheard.harmony Kate Lines Rebekah Sampson Photography
