Life, Values & Legacy: Our Chat with Amanda Brite of Middletown, Connecticut

We recently had the chance to connect with Amanda Brite and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Amanda, thank you so much for taking time out of your busy day to share your story, experiences and insights with our readers. Let’s jump right in with an interesting one: What is a normal day like for you right now?
On a normal day, I wake up and do Lyft- I like this job because you are free to make your own schedule and for the customer service; it makes me feel accomplished when I can be friendly and passengers rate me well. Then I will write in a journal- lately I’ve been doing like a spring cleaning of my brain, writing my thoughts as thoroughly as possible. It helps me articulate, cleanse my nervous system and become a better writer. Then I’ll do something that involves music, whether it is band practice, reaching out to venues to play shows, a hired vocal recording or working on my own songs.

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Amanda Brite. I’m a singer/songwriter. I make music because I want others to see my perspective and feel how I feel. A lot of my music is based on pop, having a satisfying structure and catchy melodies. But the lyrics are unique, covering existential topics, philosophically pondering, expressing some kind of internal progress or talking about complete fiction. I want people to know that they are able to understand multiple perspectives, that we all deserve to be understood and seen for our best qualities, and that we are capable of so much. Basically, we deserve what we need and have the power to make the world into something that facilitates it.

Amazing, so let’s take a moment to go back in time. What was your earliest memory of feeling powerful?
My earliest memory of feeling powerful was at age 24. It felt like I had been sitting down all my life, and I was just starting to stand up and get ready to walk. This is when I started feeling like I could make my own decisions and my life could take the direction I chose.
Up until that point, I was always with someone. Whether it was family or a partner, there was always someone else whose voice rang louder than my own. However, the first time I was clearly a single adult, I felt the most free to take action, decide how I would heal and decide where to go next. I reached a complete pinnacle of joy within that year. To anyone reading, it is never too late to discover what you want, what you don’t, and believe that it matters.

What have been the defining wounds of your life—and how have you healed them?
In the broadest terms, the biggest wounds of my life have been:
1) Being categorized
2) Being misunderstood to the negative
3) Being underestimated
4) Being disrespected
5) Being left without closure

These things hurt, and ways of healing them varied. A lot of it in early adulthood was known as “undoing”, when you seek the opposite experience from what hurt you. So I would meet new people and make my own first impression, and then tell them about these old perspectives. Then I would get to hear the words, “you are not this”, which was the opposite of “you are this”. That helped a lot. Then I would learn about my part in a bad relationship and make sure to do better in the next one, so that instead of leaving, the next person would stay.

It was crucial to have a lot of patience and understanding for myself, taking it step by step and not skipping ahead. For example, knowing I needed certain things to be “undone” before I could express any sort of moving on.

Then, when I was ready, I learned new skills. Relaxing, letting go, the value of using positive language and how to do it. I also experienced the freedom and joy of knowing what I wanted, and not just what I didn’t want. After undoing, I was moving forwards to what I did want. When my life was mine, the past didn’t matter so much anymore. These new, forward-moving skills have helped me a lot to build a healthy life.

However, it is important to remember that healing is cyclical, meaning it moves in a cycle. If things hurt you again after you supposedly moved on, that’s normal, and there is no shame in still needing to heal if your journey is not complete.

Next, maybe we can discuss some of your foundational philosophies and views? What important truth do very few people agree with you on?
The inner-most quality of something is the most real.

For example: People are often judged based on their most outer layers. Beyond that are their words and actions. Beyond that are their thoughts, and beyond that their feelings. But inside all of these things are the core bracket of potential that is your true identity.

I believe that your surroundings do not have to define who you are; and that something even as tied to you as your actions are merely a part of your surroundings.

I would like for people to focus more on the message inside than the package it is being delivered in. Beyond someone’s words or tone of voice are their motivations, true intentions and true goals. We deserve to be seen for the light that shines deep inside. And the more you treat someone like their best possible selves, the more it is allowed to come out.

This has been proven to me in multiple relationships. When I speak to people on an internal layer and accept who they are, they are usually inspired to make strides in their life and bring what is inside- their true desires and abilities- to the forefront.

Everyone needs that chance, to be allowed to be their best self. Where someone is at in life can always change. It shouldn’t define them.

Okay, so before we go, let’s tackle one more area. Could you give everything your best, even if no one ever praised you for it?
Yes, I absolutely could. In fact, I had one of the most successful songwriting careers in the world before anyone knew about it! I had a lot of intrinsic motivation to build the existence of a skill, and if we’ve learned anything from my other answers, it’s that things can be unseen and still exist!

It also feels good to be understood, though, so I think it will feel more ‘right’, or more adjusted, when people hear my music. The motivation to be understood and acknowledged is on a deeper level than to be praised in itself.

Contact Info:

Image Credits
Jared White
LDO Photography
Amanda Brite

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