Jennifer Vaughn of Manchester, NH on Life, Lessons & Legacy

Jennifer Vaughn shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.

Jennifer, it’s always a pleasure to learn from you and your journey. Let’s start with a bit of a warmup: Have you ever been glad you didn’t act fast?
In TV news, there is a constant push-and-pull to be first in relaying breaking news to our viewers. In that, a relentless urge to refresh a developing situation in real time must be balanced with patience, and that requires maturity and focus. When you acquire reliable sources in the news industry, those relationships demand trust and responsibility–and you risk burning a source if that’s ignored. For instance, a source will pass along new and critically vital details about a developing situation, with the caveat not to report them until they’re officially confirmed through proper channels. I am proud to say I’ve never violated that code in my career, and have been true to my word. The best example of this would be getting confirmation of a victim’s identity before a family has been notified. Imagine the emotional wreckage a journalist could potentially cause if this process were to be ignored, and life-altering information was released via TV or social media. Many times, I could have acted swiftly on source intel, and in every instance I have refrained for that reason or to protect the safety of first responders and law enforcement. Acting fast is confidence and aggressiveness in your role, but doing so with accuracy and accountability sustains viability.

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
Need to know what’s going on in the world? How about a new book for the beach? Or, maybe you’re looking around for a podcast guest, ghostwriter, business confidante, proposal idea generator, or good friend to listen to your troubles and joys. I, on any given day, am one, four, or all of those things. It wasn’t always this way. I started a career in TV news over 25 years ago, figuring it would be all I ever did. No way! Turns out there’s a good chance your imagination and drive will lead you in many new directions throughout your life. I love to read so I became an author, with 9 books out and a 10th being shopped right now by my agent. One of my books is under a Right To Pitch agreement with a producer to become a movie. I love to help other authors so I became a ghostwriter and proposal consultant. I love to connect people so I became a business link for many friends who’ve gone on to become partners and trusted colleagues. Most of all, I love to listen and advise. There may be a chance I’ve seen, heard, or experienced something that can get another person out of a tough situation, or in the best instances, help them make their dreams come true. Look at your life, as I try to, as a revolving door of people, places, interests, and ideas.

Appreciate your sharing that. Let’s talk about your life, growing up and some of topics and learnings around that. Who taught you the most about work?
I remember being about five years old, sitting atop a dappled gray pony named Rocky, and feeling hungry and tired. There was a horse show coming up later that summer, and I still had a lot of work to do on handling the reins, getting Rocky to trust me enough to follow my commands, and not panicking when he pulled at the bit or tried to canter. I may have started to cry during that training session, as any little kid might do when she’s frustrated and wants to go home. My mom, a school teacher, taught me something important as I slid off the saddle that day, my face tear-streaked and red. As soon as my riding boots hit the matted grass of the training ring, I took off, oblivious that my pony needed to be cooled down, brushed, his saddle and harness removed, and walked to his stall. She called me back and spoke firmly but earnestly, explaining that Rocky was my partner and friend and just as he helped me when we trained, I needed to help him, too. Horses, she told me, are just like us. They need to know they’re loved, and will be cared for after they work for us. “Rocky worked hard for you today, Jen,” my mom said. “And it’s your turn to work hard for him right now. Take good care of Rocky and he’ll take good care of you.” The concept of work hit deep that day, how I was responsible for something else that mattered just as much as I did. The next day, I showed up for training with a smile on my face, no tears, and Rocky and I had the best session yet. We went on to earn a yellow ribbon in that summer’s horse show that I still have to this day.

What have been the defining wounds of your life—and how have you healed them?
When we talk about wounds, or loss, the commonly applied salve, at least in theory, is time. But until you experience something that deep, the concept is vague and intangible. Often, the fear of suffering a wound can prevent someone from ever loving as deeply as they have the potential to, because the pain — that hasn’t even happened yet — seems too massive to bear. But, in that, we deny ourselves the chance, and that’s even worse. Over the course of two-and-a-half-years, I lost both of my parents. It wasn’t merely emotionally grueling on me, it was underserving for them. Two outstanding people, high school sweethearts, who’d made every decision together based on love and care for their family. Why, why, why would both of them be subjected to such pain, illness, loss of self, and each other…almost instantaneously? It haunted me for a long time, that question that has no real answer for any of us. Pain, at its most potent, can blur rationality, and much like the aforementioned salve, time, truly does mark a moment of profound awareness. This happened before my parents passed away, but all of this has happened since. It’s an impossible equation of loss for any child, but with the passage of days, weeks, months, and years, a perception of pain can evolve. Separation from loss can also build back all those memories that once made me sad, but now allow me to recall with appreciation and even laughter. While I likely mocked the ones who leaned on the simple statement that time will heal all wounds, I now respect their wisdom. I also love without burden of fear, because in the end, that’s all that ever mattered anyway.

Sure, so let’s go deeper into your values and how you think. What would your closest friends say really matters to you?
When you’re lucky, you find people who become family and stick around for a lifetime. I have a few of them who have stayed in my corner for decades. How and why does anyone dedicate a friendship to another? I have a few ideas about that, and what I try to give back to make them never question their decision to stay by my side. The qualities that make you a good friend are often the same ones that make you a responsible employee, solid ally, and intuitive commiserator. Beyond that, I see great value in trust. Sharing aspects of your life that are grand and perfect, well, that’s easy. Opening up about the tough stuff, the plans that failed or the good intentions that turned bad, become the binds that tie people together. Trust is the glue. If someone I care about confides in me, I become a vault. I cannot be pried open, bribed, cajoled, or otherwise tricked into leaking information that is not mine to share. In exchange, I expect that on my behalf, too. My closest friends have gone through insufferable moments in their lives, and they know I was the first to show up and the last to leave, all while tucking their secrets into my back pockets — where they will live forever.

Thank you so much for all of your openness so far. Maybe we can close with a future oriented question. How do you know when you’re out of your depth?
There are signs you learn to watch for when you’re learning something new, or encounter a question you simply don’t know enough about to succinctly answer. Sure, you can become proficient in gaslighting someone into believing you retain expert status on every topic, but I never hoist that on myself. Why is the point in failing to admit you’re not perfect, all-knowing, omniscient, or ever-present? Frankly, it’s dangerous not to! Experience is how we grow and teach those who come after us, but it’s not a free ticket to Fantasyland, where what you say is gospel, and you are the smartest head in the room. I look at my work in TV news and as an author of many books and can honestly say I am diligent in my work, dedicated to excellence, and proud of what I do. However, I routinely find colleagues or fellow authors who simply know more about a topic, subject, grammar rule, or marketing tip. How do I know this? Because I find myself leaning in and asking questions of my own that seek to break a barrier I’ve felt in my work, or teach me a better way around it. Another tip to avoid embarrassing yourself in esteemed company is to listen more than speak, add value when you can, and defer to someone else when you should. Trust me, it’s never okay to be fake, the truth always reveals itself and could irreparably damage your reputation and relationships.

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Jennifer Vaughn

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