Alison Ratner Mayer of Metro-West on Life, Lessons & Legacy

We recently had the chance to connect with Alison Ratner Mayer and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Alison , thank you for taking the time to reflect back on your journey with us. I think our readers are in for a real treat. There is so much we can all learn from each other and so thank you again for opening up with us. Let’s get into it: Would YOU hire you? Why or why not?
Would I hire me? Doesn’t everyone say yes to this? This question makes me think back to a conversation I have had with my best friend many times when we were younger. We always used to joke that if I could choose myself as my own best friend, I totally would.

I would definitely hire myself. I’m a therapist and it is a relationship-based trade. Skill and intervention required, yes, but first and foremost, relationships. And I excel most in this area. And I am grateful for it.

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Alison Mayer and I am a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker. I own a child and adolescent therapy practice in the Greater Boston area and have 2 locations in Needham and Sudbury. We have a team of 25 therapists and an incredible admin and support staff. Besides our practice being unique because of the amazing therapists, we offer a range of social-emotional therapy groups for kids and teens which can be difficult to find. I am very proud of our commitment to offer group therapy and to provide a warm and welcoming therapeutic environment for our clients and families.

Thanks for sharing that. Would love to go back in time and hear about how your past might have impacted who you are today. What relationship most shaped how you see yourself?
My maternal grandparents, Bobi and Zaidi, were my absolute biggest fans, always. When I was 24, after I finished graduate school, I moved to Atlanta from Massachusetts to live near my grandparents. I wanted to live somewhere different and figured that since they were there (and some other amazing family) it was a good place to go. It was the most fun and special 9 years. I had shabbat dinner with them every, single Friday night for 9 years. And I usually went over once during the week, late, after the gym, so that my grandmother could give me something yummy for dinner. Much of our time at their house was spent at the dining room table. I’d come in, I’d sit with my Bobi, she’d call my Zaidi in, either for the meal or just to visit, and we’d sit and talk. My Zaidi always thought I was so smart. He wasn’t a huge talker (unlike my Bobi), and he would listen to me go on about work or starting my own business and he would nod along. This nod always meant to me that he understood, agreed, and was proud of my decisions. He made me feel smart, competent, and so capable. He did think that I should have “majored in math” or that I could have gone to medical school, which is hilarious, but the fact that he believed I could, made me feel great. It was always my goal to get him to smile or even laugh and I always succeeded. Usually after, he’d pat me on the hand, to tell me how amusing he thought I was. It’s amazing how much you can feel from such small gestures.
My Bobi, who was always with us at the table, loved to see him smile. He usually excused himself so that she and I could continue to sit and talk for hours. I could go on for days about my special relationship with my Bobi Shirley, really. The love that she felt for me and how wonderful she thought I was, well, it was impossible not to see myself how she saw me. She said it in every card she wrote, in every question she asked, every greeting, and every goodbye. Sometimes, after we’d get off the phone, she would call me back minutes later just to tell me how wonderful she thought I was. That she was so grateful for our conversations and for our relationship and that I chose to talk with her about everything I did. Like I said, it would have been impossible not to see myself the way she saw me. I don’t think there is anyone who knew her that didn’t feel the same way. She was so special. They both were.
I often think about how their love shaped how I see myself, honestly. I have referenced it many times before, so I am happy to be asked this question and I’m enjoying the memories and even the tears pouring down my face as I write this.

When you were sad or scared as a child, what helped?
Goodness, this whole interview is to make me cry!

Let’s see…Any time I was sad or scared or angry, or freaking out, you name it, I went to my mom. It’s still true to this day. Anything I was feeling, I went to her. If someone was mean to me, I told her and cried to her. If I was embarrassed or afraid to do something, went to her. Insecure about something, told my mom. Always. If I was worried about something and she told me not to worry about it, I didn’t. That sounds kind of like magical thinking and obviously life has gotten more complicated and nuanced as an adult and now as a parent, but it still holds true, at least a little. I don’t know why, I guess I just always believed her when she said I didn’t need to feel guilty about something or didn’t need to worry about this or that. Not that she was going to solve the problems for me or anything, often it was just that she believed in me and that I’d be able to handle it. And there’s something about saying things out loud that makes things seem less scary, less big (I am a therapist, after all). And she’s, my person. My whole life, my friends often ask me “well, what does your mom say about it”, when referring to their own dilemmas, not even mine. She has a special way of making people feel relieved and at ease. It’s pretty amazing. So that’s what helped, when I was sad or scared as a child…my mom.

I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. Is the public version of you the real you?
This is a quick and easy answer, yes. I am quite literally, always myself.

Okay, so before we go, let’s tackle one more area. Are you doing what you were born to do—or what you were told to do?
I am definitely doing what I was born to do. I have luckily always been fulfilled by my work, and everyone close to me has always been supportive. It has always been the right fit, and I have luckily never grappled with my professional “path”.

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