We’re looking forward to introducing you to Mia Nardi-Huffman. Check out our conversation below.
Hi Mia, thank you so much for joining us today. We’re thrilled to learn more about your journey, values and what you are currently working on. Let’s start with an ice breaker: When was the last time you felt true joy?
I recently had the pleasure of touring in Europe with my heavy rock band, Spirit Mother. We spent weeks playing everything from tiny local venues to massive outdoor music festivals- towards the very end of the tour, we were opening up for the headliners at a festival called Hoflaerm. We showed up, sleep deprived and probably a little grungy, after a long drive, and had spent most of the day trying to avoid the summer heat (Europe’s lack of air conditioning is still taking this American some getting-used-to, ha). All four of us had this gut feeling that the show was going to be a good one- most nights, one or two of us have a great show, and maybe one or two of the others didn’t feel their best or were in their heads, you know how it goes. But we knew that night was going to be great, and when we hit the stage, we just exploded on the crowd. We were covered in sweat pretty much immediately and my in-ear monitors fell out halfway through, but it was just the best feeling in the world. To me, playing on stage, and feeling the energy of the crowd, and looking out and seeing people singing along to songs that were written halfway around the world…there’s nothing better than that. The joy I felt seeing my bandmates absolutely kill it on stage, and knowing they were feeling that same energy, it was a really special show.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
Hey!
My name is Mia Nardi-Huffman; I’m a classically trained violinist who, nowadays, is straddling the line between rock n roll and classical music. I play in the heavy rock band Spirit Mother, and I’m a violinist in the touring ensemble The Emo Orchestra. I also run a chamber music ensemble in Brooklyn, NY (my homebase) called the ASTRAEUS Chamber Collective, and I teach violin to students of all ages.
A few years ago, I lost my husband, Ryan, to brain cancer. In the year that followed, I wrote and published a book of autobiographical poetry about losing him called ‘So I Don’t Forget: Poems of Grief and Rediscovery’ (available on Amazon). I continue to live my life as an advocate for people experiencing grief, and I’ve found a great community online and offline of fellow young widows.
Appreciate your sharing that. Let’s talk about your life, growing up and some of topics and learnings around that. What relationship most shaped how you see yourself?
I’ve had a series of strong women as mentors and friends in my life who have shown me that I am capable of living a life outside of society’s patriarchal expectations for women. The first of those women is my mom, who emphasized the importance of having my own passions and my own career. She gave me both the room to embrace my creative passions and the structure to excel in them. She taught me that talent goes hand in hand with hard work, and she’s always been a listening ear when I’m working through something in my own life.
I also have had several incredible violin teachers, who have mentored my career. My childhood teacher Akiko Silver, who taught me to truly love music and the community found in playing with other musicians; my late teacher Shirley Givens, who instilled in me the discipline needed for a career in the difficult world of the arts, and my conservatory professor Bettina Mussumeli, who took a wild teenager and turned me into a musician ready for the real world.
What have been the defining wounds of your life—and how have you healed them?
In 2019, my husband Ryan was diagnosed with a very rare brain tumor. We had been together for about three years at that point, and we were living together, planning our future, and talking about having kids. Ryan’s health unfortunately never got better; after countless brain surgeries, rounds of radiation, chemo, and clinical trials, he passed away at the young age of 33 years old on December 10th, 2022. I was 31. I had essentially quit my job to be a caregiver, and frankly, I believed that my life was over when he died as well.
I landed back in my childhood bedroom in Connecticut with my housecat Stella, after having spent the last 6.5 years building a happy and successful life in California with Ryan. I was now without the income of the breadwinner in my marriage, I had to restart my career from the ground up, and I was dealing with intense CPTSD. In addition to the unimaginable well of grief of losing my soulmate, I lost a friendship that meant the world to me, and my mental health took an incredible toll. When I think about that version of myself, I want to hug her. I want to tell her that it’s alright to not look like you have everything all figured out in the months after losing your husband.
Several things went into my healing those wounds. Firstly, my late husband was a therapist, as are many of his friends, and I’m so thankful that they connected me with my incredible grief coach, Marie. During this time, I also started writing poetry, something I had done in my teens and 20s. At first, they were just sentiments that I stored on the Notes App on my phone, and then over time, I realized I was writing a book. Once I had things somewhat streamlined, I asked a good friend of mine and Ryan’s to illustrate it. What we came up with is called ‘So I Don’t Forget”, and it’s a collection of poems about my inner feelings before and after Ryan’s death.
Eventually, I started playing the violin again, and my career got back off the ground, and I found a great apartment in Brooklyn, NY, where I’ve restarted my life. Much of that is thanks to the efforts of my friends and family, who went out of their way to support me.
Sure, so let’s go deeper into your values and how you think. What are the biggest lies your industry tells itself?
When I was at music conservatory, there was an intense emphasis on learning your instrument to the highest degree of technical and musical skill attainable. Hours and hours were spent discussing passages of music in extreme detail, and even more time was spent in the practice room. Don’t get me wrong; this level of dedication is important when you’re preparing for a life as a classical musician, which is increasingly difficult in the modern world. However, in my exit interview as a graduate student, I told the dean that I profusely wished that we had been better prepared for the practical aspects of a musical career.
Most of the successful musicians that you see today (even some of the bigger acts- you would be surprised!) go home to jobs as teachers, bartenders, plumbers, and more after the show is over. It’s not a failure to do something ‘normal’ to get by; unless you are one of the lucky few who land a top orchestra position right out of school, you’ll need something to rely on as you are pursuing your creative career. I wish that the music industry took better care of its artists- but I do think that lifting the veil is important, and more people should be aware of just how hard we work before taking the stage.
Okay, so before we go, let’s tackle one more area. What do you understand deeply that most people don’t?
When I lost my husband at such a young age, I became intensely aware of the fact that our life is not guaranteed to last long. Ryan had huge goals and aspirations that went unrealized because of his illness; everything from traveling all over Japan to becoming a private practice therapist. When you have walked alongside someone you love who is dying young, you feel like you have a fire burning at your heels. You realize, on a deep level, that there is no tomorrow promised to you. If you want something, you had better do it now.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://mianardihuffman.com
- Instagram: @miarosenh
Image Credits
Olivia La Roche
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