We were lucky to catch up with Jessica Love (Winans) recently and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Jessica, great to have you with us today and excited to have you share your wisdom with our readers. Over the years, after speaking with countless do-ers, makers, builders, entrepreneurs, artists and more we’ve noticed that the ability to take risks is central to almost all stories of triumph and so we’re really interested in hearing about your journey with risk and how you developed your risk-taking ability.
From an early age, I found myself surrounded by people who were complaining about their experiences, but not doing anything different to change them.
I remember getting annoyed at my friends in high school who weren’t studying but complaining about their grades, or complained about their boyfriends all the time but wouldn’t dump them. I saw adults in my life doing it too – complaining about money, but working the same jobs/hours and expecting a different result. Or complaining about their weight/the way the looked, but not exercising or changing their eating habits.
And it used to trigger me –
I wasn’t neccesarily judging them, but I was confused as to why they were so upset with their current circumstances, and so reluctant to changing them. I didn’t see why they didn’t see what they were capable of achieving.
To me, it seemed simple – if you want more money, start a business or change careers. If you want a different body type, change your habits, etc.
It occurred to me that what most people were actually scared of, were the risks they would need to take in order to do things differently.
The people in my life were scared that if they did something different than the way they had been doing it, they would fail.
And they let the fear of potential failure, keep them where they were, which in my eyes was worse than what could occur on the opposite side of that fear.
When I was a teen, I started taking risks of my own. I was unhappy with my body, so I began working out and tracking my nutrition when I was just 14. I ended up losing about 80 pounds between 14-18 and arriving at a healthy weight for my age/height.
I got my grades up from a 3.0 to a 3.8 and applied to college, even though my counselor said I wouldn’t be able to afford it, and was able to go to school on a large academic scholarship.
From there, I became more comfortable making risks. I changed my major from a predictable and dependable pre-med to a competitive and unpredictable major in journalism because I realized I loved writing and didn’t want to study science.
I stuck myself in uncomfortable positions to get to interview cool people doing cool things and have my stories published with the world, which led to internship, freelance and staff positions at newspapers and television stations.
I had a gut instinct to move to California and take the risk of turning down a kick-ass internship with a major news station, to work for a small paper and do some soul-searching. It was then I got the inkling to quit my journalism career and pursue healing arts, yoga, buddhist philosophy, tarot, astrology, psychosynthesis – which later became my career.
Later in my 20s, there was a moment in particular when I went back to a 9-5 in the marketing world at a firm I knew deep down didn’t align with my values. I was strapped for cash and was looking for anything that could support me.
I remember going to the desert and doing a soul-quest, and sitting with plant medicine. I prayed and I asked God – what should I do about this job? He responded, very loudly, telling me I needed to quit immediately, and to trust him.
So, I did.
Surely enough a bunch of information came out about that firm, and that they were growing drugs in their bathroom, and many employees were filing complaints that it was a toxic work environment.
Then, the following day, I got a call from my current boss at the institute I teach for, which is literally my dream job, offering me a position there.
I accepted it and never looked back!
I’m 26 now and as a business owner and life coach, I take risks all the time. I chose to marry my partner after only being engaged for a week (dating for 1.5 years). I chose to relocate and move to the place my soul has been calling me to. I chose to turn down opportunities that looked good on paper, but didn’t resonate with my heart. I chose to try a new workout plan/regimen. I’ve chosen to invest thousands of dollars in my self and my business through hiring therapists, life coaches, business coaches, astrologers, psychics, mentors, teachers, courses, reiki healers, yoga teachers, etc.
And what I’ve found is, almost every time I break out of my comfort-zone, I take a risk, I take that leap of faith – a parachute opens from spirit, and I find myself in a better place than I was before.
To answer your question, I developed the ability to take risks through faith, observing what isn’t working, and cultivating the courage to try something new.
My best advice to others who are looking to make changes in their lives but are scared of taking risks is to ask themselves: how would I feel if everything in my life stayed, exactly as it is right now, forever?
If you wouldn’t feel excited, happy and grateful for that? Then it’s time to take a risk.
Start small – try something new. See how it goes.
Trust yourself and the instincts you have in your heart that tell you you deserve better in your life.
You do.
Besides, what do you have to lose?
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
Over the last five years as a spiritual women’s empowerment coach and founder of The Wild Woman, I use astrology, tarot, yoga, meditation and psychosynthesis to help women heal their hearts, find their voices and step into their authentic power.
I also work at Psychospiritual Institute as an instructor for their Board Certified Psychosynthesis Life Coach and Leadership Training Program, teaching coaching and psychosynthesis.
Psychosynthesis is the science of the soul – It’s a form of psychology that empowers you to become all who you truly are. To decondition from what or who you think you should be, who you’ve been told you are, who you’re been taught to be; and to become your true Self. Psychosynthesis helps you elevate your authentic Self, and radiate it out into the world. I’ve studied many healing modalities, and I’ve found this one to be the most powerful tool in liberating women to be all who they really are.
As women, we have sooo much conditioning placed on us. It’s like America Ferrera’s monologue in the new Barbie movie – we can never just be ourselves.
But I think for women, one of the most rebellious things we can do in an oppressive, patriarchal society, is to actually become who we really are.
Each of us has a unique purpose in this lifetime, a unique soul-signature, a unique soul-essence. It’s been so powerful to watch the women who have gone through my various programs (Ultraviolelty Aligned, MIND | BODY | BIZ, The Wild Woman and La Pantera) truly thrive in reclaiming who they are and living their authentic truth.
I’ve seen women come out of the closet and own their sexuality. I’ve seen women find the love of their lives and enter long-term relationships. I’ve seen women cry for the first time in their lives among other sisters and women who are holding them. I’ve seen women heal from the sister-wound and create long-lasting friendships with other women. I’ve seen women start their own coaching practices. I’ve seen women manifest their dream jobs and careers.
I really help women who are coming into their own, transform their lives by coming back to who they really are. And that’s what I love so much about the work I do as a coach.
Currently I am enrolling for my next coaching program beginning mid-September! I’ll be sharing all of the deets on my IG/Tiktok/FB and website jessicawinans.com, when it’s complete!
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Three qualities, skills and areas of knowledge that were the most impactful for me personality on my journey so far were journaling, tarot and astrology.
I started journaling every day when I was about 20 and in treatment for an eating disorder. My therapist recommended I create that space to be with my thoughts and get them all out on paper! I would write about everything I was feeling – during that time I was going through majorrrrr changes, and I found so much peace in just getting my thoughts and feelings out on paper.
I actually went back when I was 22 and used some of the poems and pieces I had written to publish my first book! I only sold I think 30 copies or so, mostly to friends and family, but it was so cool to see how my writing inspired other people going through similar issues.
One piece of advice I have for people who are looking to get into writing or journalling is to just let yourself express. Pick up a pen and a piece of paper, and just write whatever comes to mind. It doesn’t have to sound pretty, have any structure to it, and you don’t even have to have good handwriting! Let your mind roam free, and let your heart expand. See what’s there for you.
Another area of knowledge that has deeply impacted me is astrology. When I had my first birth-chart reading done, I felt like seen and empowered in a way I had never felt before. The more I researched my astrology placements, the more I felt confident to be my unique self. It was like a pep-talk I didn’t know I needed. For example, I’ve always loved writing and wanted to be a healer deep down- I knew I needed to help people, but I thought that wasn’t a real job. My astrologer told me (without actually knowing that) that I had a special grand trine in my char which indicated success in using my writing and words to help people on their healing journey. It was the confirmation I needed to continue growing as a coach and a guide, something I’ll never forget!
When you study your placements, you learn about the ways you love, the ways you work best, even places in the world you should move to. It’s magical stuff! And I just loveee reading other people’s charts, and seeing their eyes light up like mine did after my first reading. I’m still a newbie astrologer, but I love learning as much as I can. It really helps you understand yourself, other people, AND hings happening in the world, at the same time.
Finally, tarot has been an incredible and impactful tool on my journey. Similarly to astrology, I felt a certain level of calm I had never experienced before after my first tarot reading. It gave me guidance, confidence and clarity in my decision making, and helped me make sense of the rather chaotic things that were happening in my life at the time.
For folks who are interested in learning tarot, my advice would be to spend some quality time with your deck. Go to a local store, and pick the one that calls out to you most. You can clear it with rose-water or sage or Paolo Santo, and sleep with it under your pillow or in your bed to connect more deeply to the cards. From there, I would recommend reading your cards as much as you can (no more than once a day though) and studying what they mean and how they apply to you in that moment. There are some decks with larger descriptions of the cards (my fave is She Wolfe from Serpentfire), but you can also get a simple deck and google the card meanings!
This is the best way to learn the sacred art of tarot and let it support your life.
Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?
Probably the number one obstacle or challenge I’m currently facing is rising above people who don’t support what I’m doing, or negative comments.
I’m all about constructive feedback and I love growth. I feel like I’ve gotten good at understanding my shadows and areas where I can do better.
But, lately in my personal life I’ve had a few really uncomfortable and upsetting comments made to me or attacks made to me that have really hit me to the core about choices I am making and the things I love and value most.
For example, I had a friend who was going through a bad time mentally. She’s a photographer, and she said her workload was one of the primary causes of her sadness and mental illness. She also had told me that a lot of her friends were selfish and only talked about themselves. I held space for her and supported her over the phone, and she never once asked how I was doing – since I didn’t want to be like these selfish friends, I didn’t interrupt her to share my news – that I was expecting and getting married!
Anyways, so as soon as we planned the wedding we invited her to be a guest, and she was mad that we didn’t tell her earlier (we told her as soon as we knew) and that we didn’t hire her as photographer. She also said that I was a bad friend for holding space for her, because she felt I was coaching her, even though that’s what she had told me she needed.
It was really hard to get that feedback from her the week of our wedding, and to not take it personally.
Something else happened recently – my partner and I are exploring new living situations since we found out we have a baby on the way (due February!) and we aren’t sure if we can bring our dogs to the new living situation. So, we put a post out looking for a better home for them.
My cousin responded by texting me and telling me that I should have used birth control with the baby, and if we can’t have dogs we can’t have children.
I was devastated. To be a new mom, already uncertain about all of the changes coming and doing my best to figure out the best solution for this new chapter, it was extremely hurtful to read her messages.
With both situations, I really have had to overcome the challenges in not taking their words personally, and also having compassion for them and their opposing views. For my friend who is struggling with mental illness, I had to really connect to how difficult is must be for her to deal with that every day – and to believe that someone who has her back is actually against her. I had to understand that she’s been hurt in the past, and her projection of pain wasn’t about me – it was about her and what her fears were.
Same thing with my cousin. While it was definitely hurtful to hear her opinion, it also had me thinking about how much your views and beliefs can change when you become pregnant! I know now, as a pregnant mama, how that connection with my baby feels; and also I know how to have more compassion for myself and the things I’m going through currently.
I’m learning to honor where I’ve messed up, and not take it personally when I haven’t. I’m learning how to have compassion for others, and why they do or say the things they do; while also having it for myself, and holding myself more tenderly during tumultuous times.
Contact Info:
- Website: jessicawinans.com
- Instagram: _xojessicalove
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ultravioletly
- Linkedin: Jessica Winans
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/_jesswinans
- Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@_xojessicalove
